It's not much different than telling a girl "I'm free Thurs, Fri, Sat, and Sunday!" she's gonna think you've got nothing better to do.

Being busy and being a person others seek out is an attractive trait.

There are plenty of other ways to get across that you're busy and cool than having your phone make as much noise as possible during a date. "Things i do for fun" comes up a lot as a conversation topic and it's pretty easy to weave in that you have softball on wednesdays, kickball on tuesdays, and you normally go out to XX and YY on the weekends.

It's also pretty rude to not silence your phone after the first time it makes a noise, in my opinion. Do most people not leave their phones on silent always? Are you putting it off silent just as you're about to go on a date? All these things seem way too try hard and a bit strange besides.

I dunno- I understand the concept of wanting people to think you're a valuable commodity/have other things going on in your life, but it just seems like a silly concept to me to purposely want your phone to go off. Do the people in favor of this get their friends to call/text them while on dates to "raise their social value"?

Yeah, I think I'll leave my phone on and have all my friends call me during my date and take every one of the calls. I'll be so busy on the phone that she'll clearly realize what a great catch I am. Oh, wait, I'm not socially ******ed.

girl w/bf showing escalating lvls of interest online. WTF is happening ???

I find the best way to make people think I have a lot going on in my life is to actually have a lot going on in my life. Funny ain't it?

How much my phone rings has nothing to do with it. I set my phone to vibrate when I go out and so does practically everyone I know. I don't know anyone who habitually checks their phone while engaged in conversation and would automatically assume it means they aren't interested in whoever is trying to converse with them.

****, if I wanted my phone to ring all the time all I'd need is to hook up with a crazy clingy chick once.

She's shopping for an upgrade.

I'm 27, and I wouldn't have a problem with a date checking his phone. But I would expect an quick explanation, "oh, sorry, my friend is texting, let me tell them I'm out" or something to that effect. It's what I would do (I keep my phone on vibrate always so no one would really know if I was getting a text or call or just faking I guess).

On one of my first dates, some question about fish came up, so I pulled out my phone to look up the answer. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the answer quickly, which annoyed me as 1) I didn't have the answer, and 2) I didn't know how long I could stay on the phone to continue searching before it would really be a problem. I should point out that I was half using the phone as a crutch that let me focus my attention on something safe and familiar, and my date was only 23 years old, and I'm still seeing him 3 months later, so...??

I really doubt a girl is going to give a damn how many times your phone rings during a date.

If it's not an emergency, why even respond? It's OK not to reply to a text for a few hours

Sometimes. But if you've already read the text (to make sure it wasn't an emergency), then it doesn't take much time/effort to respond, especially if you do the apologizing at the same time as you type.

there's guys who fake check their phones on dates to look COOL?

what the **** ????

If you're going to check your phone, there's a difference in the perception you create between checking to see if it's an emergency and typing a message, however quick you may be

Sounds like some **** girls would do to impress each other at a sorority function. Ive never really seen a guy check a phone a bunch and think he's gotta be a cool dude who gets laid a lot. Prob more likely to be friendzoned by the girls he's texting until proven otherwise. Think you'd be better off trying to occasinonally small talk to others in the general area or saying hey to friends who you see out to prove youre a cool outgoing "high value" dude

Checking your phone on a first date is a huge sign of insecurity and not showing any value. It shows you can't carry a conversation and are not confident with one-on-one. I've gotten texted or called on a first date and immediately I shut it to silence, put it away and apologize.

If they are doing it to you, I echo what some others have said in this thread. Either play off their insecurities like ATF did by teasing her about it and getting them focused back on the conversation at hand, yeota's idea of texting them during it was good, too. Or just cut the date short.

yes actually being busy and having a life is definately better than you're phone buzzing a few times during a date. It doesn't sound like ATF has much going on so I didn't think it would hurt him to check his phone once in a while, implying he has things going on.



ks,

i've have friends do it and have learned their lingo a little I'm half trolling when quoting there literature. Yea its definatley mostly **** but good for helping guys just get out there and meet girls. The social value thing is actually pretty legit and something girls my age (I'm 28) seem to really care about.

cliffs:
checking phone is normal
it doesn't matter if you check your phone
unless it does

Gabby,

I can hold a conversation but I also wanna let my buddie know that I can't come out or whatever instead of staring at my date without blinking.

I'm saying that you check to see if it really matters, and then since you're already there it doesn't take much time to get out the message. But I'm not yet 30, and I'm insecure enough that I'll stick with someone even if they pull out their phone a lot and I use my phone to hide from real human-human interaction.

I mean, I guess it comes down to the rapport you've already built up. If you are doing this **** 5 to 30 minutes into the date, I'd say it's pretty rude. 2 hours later, you guys are at some other bar, sure....text away, but why would you want to, you are almost at closing the deal.

2nd date with S,

Original place was closed but I rallied with a good 2nd choice. We got a tasty $5 burger(Henry17 may not approve that I suggested what turned out to be the special) Our convo was really good, skewed nerdier than other dates. We talked about politics, religion(which we were both pretty identical), south park episodes, and the online dating site. She checked out a little when I said I was leaving Saturday(kept mentioning maybe meeting in August so I didn't try to press for a third date shortly after), guess she didn't have enough dates to see me to feel DTF by then.She didn't want to drink at dinner because she had to work tomorrow(only babysitting, I'd get drunk before that), but I did not let that stop me.

We got froyo. We sat side by side. I kinda tried to lean my leg into hers a little during the convo but she didn't seem super flirty in return. I had already brought J to this place, I may have to consider tipping even though they don't do anything in hopes that cashiers don't cockblock me in the future. She asks me if I met anyone who looked different than their pictures, pretty awkward because the answer was her, but I think I pulled off a convincing no.

The place I was planning on looks pretty packed, so she suggests some hipster bar downtown. She orders a hard cider(which I eventually finish, lol) and buys me an IPA. I point out that the Occupy means this isn't my scene as my life goal is to get into the 1%, and my Banana Republic/Polo Ralph Lauren clothing does not quite fit in with other patrons of this establishment.

As I suspected it would, the few beers made me more physically attracted to S and I'm starting to get kinda horny. I was able to touch her a little my feeling her muscle when we were talking about working out, and a little more incidental bumping, but felt she was a little sober/guarded to go for like a hand on the knee/thigh. I did almost go for it on the ride back when she discussed her legs(after this latest beer they were really starting to look pretty nice) but I didn't feel she was down to get too physical and didn't want to make her uncomfortable while she was driving, which she didn't seem particularly skilled at.

She said she'd drop me off at my apartment. I ask if she would like to walk me to my door, she said no but Ill give you a kiss on the cheek. At the last minute she decides to kiss me on the lips as we hug; I wasn't expecting it so slightly awkward

yea bobo because checking your phone 2-3 times in a few hours is something only sorority girls are doing to impress others.

you seem to have a goal of getting laid with these dates without getting involved in a realtionship. If your goals are short term why is it a bad idea to create a dynamic that would increase her perception of your "value" true or false. You put "value" on how hot they are and how willing to bang, girls put value on other things. I don't think faking things girls care about is a bad play in the short term.

I do place a lot of value on the DTF part, but not so much on the looks once I'm attracted enough to bang them. I don't feel I'd enjoy the conversation and get the kind of connection that makes the process more fun with a girl who would be looking out for that as a red flag. And I'd prefer to address the problem by meeting more women and making more friends so I'm getting legitimate texts, but I still don't think I'd check their texts during my date after I started getting them

Seem to be making more progress by making tiny steps towards making it every day, than faking until you make it. Not technically mutually exclusive, but I think it puts you in a bad mindset to do **** like that.

Arent girls usually texting like 5 or 6 different dudes at any one time, and the one they really want to get with is the one they rarely hear from. Probably because he's out tryin to bang someone else.

You are correct it is not the sex appeal of the woman, but it is the quality of the sex and the frequency at which it occurs. There is no point in dating a woman is who not mindblowing in bed -- because not only is resentment and frustration building, but you are also wasting time that you could be spending out there finding women who are actually worth inserting your penis into.

I think the aesthetic part of the sex is important for the guy. While we are having sex, it's all the physical stuff that turns on. But for women, it's not just about sex. For some it is, yes, and usually they are in their early twenties, or forties. So there has to be some mutual compromise in between the sex. One that makes you want to be around each other, other than the physical aspect. And that high frequency of sex occurs when you guys connect on a deeper level.

But yeah, I agree with your sentiment, that if even they are attractive and the sex is not compatible, you should just move on. I've wasted much time in trying to make it work with women who were just not a fit in the sexual department for me, and vice versa(they were a sexual fit, but not personality fit).

I had a really fantastic first date last night with a psychology grad student at my school (who messaged me first on OKC). Probably the most promising first date I've been on in the last year, all things considered. The hotel rooftop bar near my place is really gold.

We're already planning to go out again on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I'm going out of town for two weeks on Wednesday, so I hope everything won't fizzle in the meantime. (The trip is not unfortunate since I'm going to the WSOP ...but the timing obviously isn't great!)

Changing to my new city in non-Atlanta, Georgia where I'll be moving for my internship. Pickins lookin much slimmer.