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Old 12-16-2012, 05:51 PM   #651
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Re: Online dating thread

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That is definitely not why I failed. I did all of these things. Several times. Believe me, it was not going to happen. She became very aloof as soon as I got to second base. She seemed suddenly and legitimately frightened....completely breaking with the tone of the rest of the date. And from that point on, making out with her was not very much fun at all.
she became aloof? k put a movie on,go read 2+2,ignore her for a few minutes.
Let her come to you. If she doesn't,just take her home or call a cab. Next.

My record for trying to break her resistance is 6 hrs. The sex was really awesome but I'm not doing that again,too much work. You said you have no problem getting dates.If she doesn't put out. Next.
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Old 12-16-2012, 05:53 PM   #652
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Re: Online dating thread

So I asked the girl for her #, and she turned me down. Her daughter is 18, so she's older than I thought. At least mid 30s, looks great for her age though. She said she didn't want to give it because she's at work.

I thought I did OK, I made her laugh a lot and she said she liked me.

I also spoke well, and lack of confidence in my speech is one of my biggest issues. In fact, it may be my biggest issue.
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Old 12-16-2012, 05:55 PM   #653
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Re: Online dating thread

amazin thats good. At least you didn't get a fake # lol
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Old 12-16-2012, 05:57 PM   #654
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Re: Online dating thread

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amazin thats good. At least you didn't get a fake # lol
I doubt a girl is going to give you a fake # when you pretty much work in the same establishment.
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Old 12-16-2012, 05:59 PM   #655
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Re: Online dating thread

Reading this, breaking through a girl resistance is something I'm awful at.

Couple years back I had this hot blonde invite me to her apartment. She said "you can sleep with me as long as you keep your hands to yourself"

I did. After that she never really spoke to me.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:00 PM   #656
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Re: Online dating thread

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she became aloof? k put a movie on,go read 2+2,ignore her for a few minutes.
Let her come to you. If she doesn't,just take her home or call a cab. Next.

My record for trying to break her resistance is 6 hrs. The sex was really awesome but I'm not doing that again,too much work. You said you have no problem getting dates.If she doesn't put out. Next.
I did try to cut off and restart a couple times. At a certain point, I think she felt like she was too drunk and I was taking advantage of her.
But why would I give up on the girl just because she honestly didn't want to have sex on the first date? She was gorgeous, smart, and we had great chemistry. I really think being too aggressive on that date was the biggest mistake I've made since I started online dating.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:10 PM   #657
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Re: Online dating thread

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Reading this, breaking through a girl resistance is something I'm awful at.

Couple years back I had this hot blonde invite me to her apartment. She said "you can sleep with me as long as you keep your hands to yourself"

I did. After that she never really spoke to me.
lol wow dude. Should have said "k tie me up to the bed"
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:14 PM   #658
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Re: Online dating thread

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lol wow dude. Should have said "k tie me up to the bed"
Yea, I mean, I've learned a lot since then. That's all I can really say about that.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:44 PM   #659
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Re: Online dating thread

Bl, no I am not you. Obviously.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:00 PM   #660
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Re: Online dating thread

nick-

is it possible that youre just being a little too boring? i mean sure youre looking for highly educated and intelligent women, but still, they have emotions and want to be swept off their feet and shown a great time just like every other girl out there. idk maybe save the genetically modified soy discussions until like the 5th date and maybe just take her out to play miniature golf or something instead?
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:17 PM   #661
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Re: Online dating thread

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nick-

is it possible that youre just being a little too boring? i mean sure youre looking for highly educated and intelligent women, but still, they have emotions and want to be swept off their feet and shown a great time just like every other girl out there. idk maybe save the genetically modified soy discussions until like the 5th date and maybe just take her out to play miniature golf or something instead?
Yeah, this may be true. I have definitely learned not to talk in too much detail about own areas of expertise, although I sometimes slip up. Girls always ask me what my dissertation was about, but I've figured out that they don't really want to hear me explain this.

I do like to talk to girls about what they are passionate about or have expertise in. I would figure they like talking about this, and even if the date doesn't go anywhere, I have learned something interesting. I do try to mix up the conversation a lot, but it does sometimes get a little bit into the weeds.

I've gone on a couple of dates with girls to concerts, and these have gone pretty well. I'm not really all that comfortable with "activity" first dates...one time just walked around a park, but it still felt a little weird. And I really like having alcohol available on first dates, if only for my own sake. Coffee dates are almost always terrible.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:38 PM   #662
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Re: Online dating thread

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Thinking about my last couple dates, I don't really see how lack of kino is a problem
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The first location is often some place new to me, and usually some place where is would be awkward or impossible to immediately sit really close to the girl.
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Date #4: Date was very short, no kino
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Date #3: No kino at first location....but I thought the date was going great from there.
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Date #2: No kino at first location
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Date #1: Date was very physical, and seemed to go more or less perfectly from beginning to end.
.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:41 PM   #663
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Re: Online dating thread

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On one date our conversation turned to sex really early and I touched her thigh under the table. But it was clearly not wanted...she shifted away, became much more aloof, and the date got cut-off not long after that.
I think "touching her thigh under the table" isn't kino but more like creepy and sex offender type stuff. That is probably why she was more aloof.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:45 PM   #664
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Re: Online dating thread

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.
I'm not sure what you're point is in the quotes...I was showing how the presence or lack of physicality on the first date seemed to have no correlation with whether I got a second date.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:46 PM   #665
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Re: Online dating thread

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I think "touching her thigh under the table" isn't kino but more like creepy and sex offender type stuff. That is probably why she was more aloof.
I mean like sitting close enough that your hand brushes up against her leg. Usually then the girl will either lean in closer or subtly shift away.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:16 PM   #666
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Re: Online dating thread

Nick, on a first date at dinner, touching her leg under the table is almost certainly going to have a high failure rate. Yes, it could have some BL PUA successes as well. But a lot of women will be a bit weirded out for sure. There are right times for body contact and not so right times. Touching her leg under the table on first dinner is pretty iffy unless you are getting perfect chemistry and know it's ok.

You might be sitting a little too close to some of them also and kind of crowding their space a bit.

As with anything, it depends.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:16 PM   #667
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Re: Online dating thread

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Yeah, this may be true. I have definitely learned not to talk in too much detail about own areas of expertise, although I sometimes slip up. Girls always ask me what my dissertation was about, but I've figured out that they don't really want to hear me explain this.

I do like to talk to girls about what they are passionate about or have expertise in. I would figure they like talking about this, and even if the date doesn't go anywhere, I have learned something interesting. I do try to mix up the conversation a lot, but it does sometimes get a little bit into the weeds.

I've gone on a couple of dates with girls to concerts, and these have gone pretty well. I'm not really all that comfortable with "activity" first dates...one time just walked around a park, but it still felt a little weird. And I really like having alcohol available on first dates, if only for my own sake. Coffee dates are almost always terrible.

Talk to girls about what YOU are passionate about.

Its what YOU want to talk about. Its YOUR date.


Lets say you meet a girl online,get her # ,you call her and says " Nick I'm going to have sex with you friday night. But let's get a couple drinks first. Meet me at bar x"

Would you try to impress her?
Would you try to find out what she likes to talk about?
Would you have any problem geting physical?
Would you have any problem making out with her?

NO. You would be relaxed and having fun because you know you're going home with her.

This is the mindset you want to have. She is there because she wants you.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:25 PM   #668
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Re: Online dating thread

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I'm not sure what you're point is in the quotes...I was showing how the presence or lack of physicality on the first date seemed to have no correlation with whether I got a second date.
Maybe you could run a regression or something, to show that "no kino = lame date"? Then you could have a hypothesis: "lame date = fewer second dates". That's what professors do I think, run regression analyses.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:26 PM   #669
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Re: Online dating thread

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Talk to girls about what YOU are passionate about.

Its what YOU want to talk about. Its YOUR date.
This is pretty good advice. You should of course also talk about stuff they are passionate about, but in the context of "I am interested in knowing more," and not "oh, I must please her and make her happy in any way possible such as talking about what she is interested in"
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:29 PM   #670
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Re: Online dating thread

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This is pretty good advice. You should of course also talk about stuff they are passionate about, but in the context of "I am interested in knowing more," and not "oh, I must please her and make her happy in any way possible such as talking about what she is interested in"
Exactly. The sex worthy guy is not entertaining the girl he is entertaining himself 100% of the time.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:31 PM   #671
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Re: Online dating thread

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Nick, on a first date at dinner, touching her leg under the table is almost certainly going to have a high failure rate. Yes, it could have some BL PUA successes as well. But a lot of women will be a bit weirded out for sure. There are right times for body contact and not so right times. Touching her leg under the table on first dinner is pretty iffy unless you are getting perfect chemistry and know it's ok.

You might be sitting a little too close to some of them also and kind of crowding their space a bit.

As with anything, it depends.
For the most part I am responding to people saying I am not touching girls enough.

I don't really go on a lot of first date dinners, and I when I have, I don't think I have ever initiated kino at those dinners.

I am mainly talking about sitting at a booth in a bar, after we have already had several drinks at a different bar earlier in the night.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:31 PM   #672
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Re: Online dating thread

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I think "touching her thigh under the table" isn't kino but more like creepy and sex offender type stuff. That is probably why she was more aloof.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:35 PM   #673
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Re: Online dating thread

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This is pretty good advice. You should of course also talk about stuff they are passionate about, but in the context of "I am interested in knowing more," and not "oh, I must please her and make her happy in any way possible such as talking about what she is interested in"
I certainly do talk about this in the framework of "I am interested in knowing more"....because I actually am interested in knowing more. I sometimes talk about what I am passionate about....but as you correctly guessed above, this would mean talking a lot about running regression analyses.

Obviously, this is not all I am passionate about. But suggesting that anyone with any Aspergers-like tendencies to talk about what he is passionate about is asking for trouble.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:41 PM   #674
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Re: Online dating thread

Nick,the reason I'm saying talk about what you're passionate about is because when you really like something the way you express yourself brings out your personality,the real you.

If you talk about what she likes all the time she's not going to experience the real you. I'm not saying ignore her,use your brain.

This is what girls mean when they say they want somebody real. You see, most guys are afraid to put their personality on the line. Afraid of rejection. You know who you are,why would care if you get rejected by some okc random chick.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:51 PM   #675
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Re: Online dating thread

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Reading this, breaking through a girl resistance is something I'm awful at.

Couple years back I had this hot blonde invite me to her apartment. She said "you can sleep with me as long as you keep your hands to yourself"

I did. After that she never really spoke to me.
WTF LOL!!? And you fell for that garbage? You should have given her the most aggressive, roughest, man-handling sex of her life after hearing that.

How do you not call her bull**** there?

lol
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