i mean if she's not responding to pretty much every text you send regardless of whether it includes a direct question then you might as well flake on her bc she's probably not interested (enough).

in the same vein if she is wishy washy better to have her backout and save you 50 bucks.


dont want to create a tangent though so thats the last ill input on the topic

Looks like a pretty good photo, KPowers, though it could be angled a little better to fit in your left foot. Unless you are trying to hide that you don't have a left foot.

Good pic, terrible shoes.

It depends how far outside of the requirements you are and all. If you aren't far out, it's worth a try. A lot of times women don't want to appear to be undesirable (older women chasing young guys might look bad to older guys, and same with the opposite). If she is 40 and says "40-55" and you are 28, it's probably not a great move, but you always have a chance. What's the worst that could happen? She ignores you? Oh noes.

Dude, just go visit or invite her over. Its up to you to push things whether on the date or elsewhere. Youre overthinking this. Do you expect her to just rip off your clothes?

Did you do anything romantic and get shut down? No. Is she showing excess attention, especially considering you two live far away? Yes.

Even on the 0.05 percent chance shes just that friendly and likes to network, girls like that will easily convert into romantic interests.

Theres nothing to analyse here. Go for it.


Btw out of my league is a concept that only applies to a very narrow circle. A girl from elsalvador isnt gonna have the same concepts as a guy from the netherlands. When dealing with people from different cultures your attractiveness automatically increases.

Just curious, no particular reason, I'd guess late 20s though. +1 on the shoes, can do better on those but not too noticeable

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I can't find my good shoes. I turned 27 in March.

kpowers, i really like the pic

On second thought I'm not going to post these girl's pics. Though I make the hour and a half round-trip, pay for their ****, ask them questions, etc. and in return only one had the common courtesy to ship a thank you text; it's poor form.

As a consolation, here's my profile pic:

Atf,

That pic is just too much "in your face". I'd go for candid photos, even have a friend take a photo of you doing something you love.

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If she doesn't respond I would probably assume she's flaking and not bother going. I can't imagine a scenario where I text a few hours in advance I was good to go at x, and hear nothing back until three hours later asking where I'm at. But the only dates I've been on so far I've had enough texting back and forth before the date to be able to make that read. ymmv.

I try not to, but it seems like at least pre-first date there are some pretty standard lines you can take. And I believe most of the stuff that goes on between the initial interest and going on the first date is just an opportunity to **** things up, so it's not a bad idea to find out what those standard lines should be.

Goddamn there are a lot of single mums in my city. STOP REPRODUCING

27 looks about right. You looked older in the pics from earlier ITT. I'd keep the new one. And I really need to get some pics of myself like that. None of mine are very high quality.

How do you guys deal with messages from girls you wouldn't initially message, but seem nice, average commonality, yet not repulsive looking? Ie. Your girls that are 5/6 out of 10 on the looks scale.

For me I feel like it's a role reversal; I'll respond with same or a bit less effort/ length, and if they are boring I just cut it off. If they're really cool, I entertain the thought.of meeting

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I see the "We still on for 7?" debate as another opportunity to bring the funny:

"I know we said 7:00, but where was it again? The Golden Banana, right?" Or insert the name of some other ridiculous local landmark.

(it always amazes me how many people outside of New England recognize the name of The Golden Banana, especially older dudes. That place must have been WILD back in the day!)

Wish I could find a link of the scene from House of Lies where Kristen Bell's very damaged character escapes her toxic work environment for an evening to meet a wonderful guy she met online for drinks. He's giving her every chance, but her every word is just completely sabotaging things for herself (because she's nuts), when he finally, abruptly stands and tells her something like, "I'm going to stop at the bar on my way out, and pay for MY drinks. Have a good night."

I disagree, I look at that pic and think you're WAY overdressed for a walk in the woods. Better shoes would have only added to the incongruity. If you didn't want that "walk in the woods" vibe, then you should have cropped out most of the woods and made yourself the focus of the shot.

But it goes without saying that anything I say ITT comes with the disclaimer that there's a better-than-even-money chance that I don't know wtf I'm talking about.

KP's photo is very good. I don't think anyone will judge the shoes since he's like out in the woods.

BTW if anyone is wondering, this was 45 minutes with a tripod and my D5000 but I'm sure a $100 point-shoot would do just fine given how bad OKC/POF suckify photos.

All solo. Elite selfies yo
RE: Sneakers
I just would have worn a nicer pair of sneakers, left em at the gym.

I was browsing on my phone and couldn't see the usernames on the left and when I saw this reply I thought "I bet that's skunkworks" lol.

Nick- I disagree. Rugged shoes and boots can look awesome. Those are ugly. Girls notice shoes. Probably won't be a dealbreaker, but definitely will be judged by some.

ATF- For a decent looking guy, that is a terrible picture. Smile, choose a better angle and shave. Not sure if that's beard stubble, but it comes across as a mustache to me in that photo. (If it is a mustache, then it needs to go.)

btw kpowers, that is otherwise a fantastic photo

Any chance you could get her to post here?

I'm getting back into online dating after some lame experiences a little while ago, what are your general first messages like?

Something funny about her profile, do you bring up something like "if you wanna grab a drink" etc or just leave it open?

Do you find much of a difference between sites? Okc and match I've heard the most of

Sly,

I've had a few online girls straight up say my pic was terrible. And I could ask her. She's kinda down atm b/c she got no response to her 'had fun' text and, get this, wondering if she should send a 2nd lol

Is there any information to glean from a girl's site activity? For example: the woman from my disaster transcript has not logged in since May 1, this after being online every evening around the same time for a month. Also, the woman who's non-responsive to my post-date texts hasn't been online since the 4th, she was also a daily log-in for the two weeks she's been on my favorites.

I know these are both lost causes but - in an effort to learn - I'm always curious on how much it had to do with me or, perhaps, external factors outside my control. When I see changes to site activity patterns I can't help but wonder if some external factors are playing a role.

or just PM me her username

I think the answer is obvious and I could have told you before you even mentioned that they hadn't been active on the site. It occurred to me when you mentioned that you were surprised when the one girl didn't respond to you even though you were sure you had a good time on your date. Remember that attractive girls on these dating sites have more options than they have time. I think both these girls probably found somebody else and took themselves off the market, at least for now.