mashoo, if a girl happily answers your questions without elaborating or redirecting, then use that to your advantage and ask her questions which lead her in the direction you want to go. For example:

"I'd like to take you out for drinks. How's Barny's on Friday? We can plan our trip haha."

Some girls have personality but are a little clueless about dating or or are used to taking their cue from guys and don't offer anything back until they're comfortable.

But yeah, she's probably an airhead and I'd probably burn her with ATF's fantastic snide remark.

ATF,

Everything's like an analysis, plan and strategy on what to do. Have some self-confidence and just be yourself and respond how you actually feel like responding and do what you feel like doing. You come off as sorta weird and unnatural in this thread, and I'd be surprised if some degree of that didn't come through in person too. Just be yourself and see what happens. Then do more of the stuff that you enjoy and gets positive feedback.

Appreciate the advice. I'll send a message like that tomorrow sometime.

wtffff @ thinking not sticking to some girls age requirements is in any way douchey. chicks ignore like 90% of the messages they receive, does that make them bitches?

Right now I'm an abysmal failure. I can't even get a date off Match or OKcupid. I'm considering letting someone who's skilled in online dating use my handle

amazin,

What's your life situation? What do you do with yourself? I'm talking job, money, living situation, hobbies, etc.

I play poker for a living. As we know, due to variance there's no set salary, but I expect to make around 40K this year. I play poker roughly 40 hours a week. I live alone in a 2 bedroom, 1 car garage house in a suburb of Tampa. Hobbies are sports. I play baseball, cycle, and workout.

I have a HS education, and Tampa is not my hometown (Lived here 18 months), thus I am not very well connected.

How many women do you think want to date a poker player, let alone one who is in nasty casinos all the time and scraping by on 30k/yr after taxes?

It's a tough sell to the vast majority of women unless you are making good money and don't sit in a casino all the time.

It's a challenge even when making a solid 6 figures/yr from home because it's an instant wtf for most women.

I find it helps to make your poker more into a business and earn money from other revenue streams like affiliate marketing for example. Combine that with a legitimate website and it will all become less foreign to them while making you appear more "normal" and business savvy.

I realize this is tougher as a live pro though.

Here's the thing though - I never even get to the stage where I tell women what I do for a living.

Yes, good advice, I've thought the same thing. Have some kind of front that makes poker seem normal.

ytf,

People calling you out when you're being ridiculous is what's got you this far. I don't know why you've been singling me out, most everyone in your threads have done the same.

As El D said, you did seem "very angry" at ATF, which was pretty funny and ridiculous.

Yeah, I donked off some moneyz the night before, and I've been in a foul mood.

Well, that, and I just looked out the window at the woods behind the back yard, and I didn't see Leaf One! But we're in the 70's every day this week (finally!), so my mood should improve soon.

Seconded, esp the bolded.

I'll message them if I'm only outside of it by a year or two. I'm 36, and I often see the age range go up to 35. I don't think it's a big deal. Also, lots of people have accounts for a long period of time or set up their accounts a while ago and never update them. I've seen plenty of times where a woman says "I'm 28" in her profile and then the info shows her at 30. I wouldn't message her if I were well outside her age range, but a year or two is no big deal, imo.

In my area, Match has a much bigger population than OKC and much more attractive women. My success rate (response to initial messages) is much lower for Match than OKC. Match is definitely a lot more work, imo. I basically just send out a handful of messages a week and eventually someone responds.

I have way way way more success on match in Boston. The population is a little older (less 22-24 year olds), but the 25-29 group where I'm mainly looking is more attractive as a whole, less flaky, and respond more often.

If I could only choose one of them I'd stick with match no question.

Also, I haven't been out on many dates lately because I'm really busy at work... but holy hell have I had some bad luck of late. People are just flaking out on me left and right.

I just messaged some people last night for the first time in a while and have some promising first dates lined up... but it's a sick cycle.

Also, my profile on match has been viewed 20,000 times (total views, not unique views). I've been on these sites way too long. I'd guess that's in about 20 months of it being visible.

It obviously does, and thats why I am going to cancel the sex dates, because the more I thought about it, the more I was being dishonest with myself as well as these other girls.

If you want to see my profile you will have to PM me, I am not posting it in here and getting 700 new visitors. Also keep in mind that only a couple of the girls were 10s. The rest are 5-6 range. Attractive but not hot.

Zoosk?

Is your friend Matthew McConconaughey? I find this hard to believe. Unless it wasn't a first date.

Im on okc. Anyone have any zoosk experience? I see their ads all the time but everyone here is talking about pof, okc, and match.

He's average looking. Smooth talker. Don't have to believe it if you don't want. I don't care personally, either way. And, they were first dates.

People just make things more difficult for themselves in this thread, because they just say dumb things. Or they try to get overly complicated with women.

Women are easy. You just set them up, so they can talk about themselves and you listen well enough to respond. You can pretty much do what you want with them afterwards. Welcome to dating 101.

ATF- Try to eliminate all negative/insecure aspects of your messaging. Even "just making sure this number works" has an insecure vibe to it. Just assume she is dying to get your text and dive right in with something confident. Don't even tell her who you are. Just include enough to give her a hint. Do you think DiCaprio's first text to a supermodel would be "just making sure this works"?

I hesitate to mention this because I have never understood all of the PUA routines that just come off as corny as hell to me...but you might want to tone down the witty banter a bit. If you just talk naturally like you would a friend and then only say something witty when you think it's really good, it will be more engaging than the schtick you're attempting now. If you're really that much of a goofball in real life, then go for it. But I somehow doubt that. But I'm pretty cynical so maybe it's just me.

Sinkist,

Initially you were debating whether or not to go to this concert weekend. Now you are cancelling your other dates for a girl that you admitted was awkward.

You shouldn't feel bad for the sex dates. Especially on Thursday at least. If the weekend goes well then I could see you cancelling the other one.

This is all personal to how you feel obviously. Key is there should be no expectation from her for a third online date esp when you have not had sex (even though it is implied that you will).

Cancel the dates if you want, or don't. But of you don't obviously don't tell her about them. It has little to do with dishonesty and more to do with the fact that your relationship is not at a level of full disclosure.

What's the best way to confirm a date you've set up in advance? Something like "Are we still good for tonight?" seems like an insecure way to say it, but coming across more confident when it's clear your purpose is to confirm sounds so cheesy.

"see you at 7, I'll be in the back in the purple spandex jumpsuit"

Appreciate the honest feedback, El D. "Just do what I want and say what I want" is something I repeat in my head when I find myself over-thinking this stuff. I may be weird but I know I'm not a date rapist serial killer, so just being myself shouldn't be that big of an issue. I'm probably repeating this for myself but I was married, loyally, for over a decade. Over that time, my (ex)wife - on account of her own baggage - conditioned me to shut down any and all flirting from other women, no matter how innocent. Rediscovering how to receive interest and return it - in a natural way while abstaining from just latching onto and humping these girls legs, so to speak - is definitely something that's going to take time / experience. My "game" began here in March, at zero. Maybe less than zero. Everything - from putting my picture online, to texting, to coming up with a date idea, to figuring out the flow whilst hanging with a virtual unknown female, to feeling out the end of date and the appropriate "goodbye," to following up, to what's normal for a second date, et al. - is all an entirely new experience.


"What would DiCaprio do?" probably isn't a terrible question to ask myself before I press send on these texts and messages lol. I've been trying to better understand my proclivity for the witty banter. While I find myself chuckling at a lot the content I send to these women, I'm pretty sure the overuse of humor is an unconscious (?) effort at building artificial barriers to protect my ego from rejection. I'm definitely like the fat guy who tries hard, too hard, to be funny because he thinks it's his only value to others. Except I'm not fat.