Don't forget the whole "extend" part of the loop. Seems like I never get a message anymore until I've extended.

"Bumble's women making the first move is a terrible gimmick that nobody likes, but I get almost all my dates through there because that's what women use in my area."

Seems like women like the gimmick.

I think as catangod pointed out it creates a triple opt-in, that's a perk for sure, not sure if it's the same thing though even if it's the 3rd opt-in. Like they could probably just give women a match queue after two opt-in's and make them confirm before it shows as a match for the guy cause the actual gimmick of sending the first message is not what most women I've met enjoy doing.

Hllo. In my opinion, the best resource is different for every person, because everyone has their own requirements. It seems to me that your best bet is to go to https://www.teendatingsites.com.au and pick something for yourself. This is a great option for teenagers who don't know where to meet yet! All the best!

My lean, without being in product or other meetings at Bumble, is that in a fairly competitive industry (dating apps), Bumble has significant traction and market share with their model and that they know what they are doing. Yes, there are network effects that mean that someone can't clone the other Bumble features and slightly change their opt in nature and displace them without significant expenditure. But I would guess that they do a heck of a lot of research into what women actually want / what they want the experience in the app to be. Meh. These things will keep evolving, I'm sure.

If you ask someone out for a specific time and place and the response is “I’ll consider it,” how do you respond? I’m already turned off by the response and she’s not all that, so I don’t care if my response leads to us not meeting. But I’m looking for a response that kind of turns it around on her and gives me the upper hand in a clever way.

Either a single “lol ok” or just unmatch.

Who cares about getting the upper hand, let it go.

(Not saying I wouldn’t be annoyed too).

I consider that response a no, to be ambiguous is generally a negative.

In either case, don't be bothered to respond or wait for clarification.



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you literally just say what the above poster said or just ignore and move on dont even give her time if she texts back with hey 2 days later.


you are too old or dont have enough time to be playing ****ing games

Right yeah

"Cool keep me posted", and then if she ever gets back to you it's a pleasant surprise

I typically go with “hit me up if you figure it out” and would move on. Like Joe said, if she ever reaches out it would be a surprise

I’m intrigued . How do I sign up for your newsletter ?

Heck just send me one,plz.

Kinda fat and tramatised from civil war is okay.

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Is Estonian really another race?

"(29-35) and on bumble, everything is going according to plan." Have seen this several dozen times now. Insta left swipe for me no matter how attractive or what else is said.

"A cynic knows the price of everything but the value of nothing."

Excellent insta left swiping.

idk about genetics etc etc but culturally and liguistically they are entirely independent

you know all those jokes about finnish language being insane and not linked to anything, well it is very similar to Estonian and Estonia is a short ferry ride away from Helsinki

so that's how unique they are that the only other place they vaguely resemble are the other country known for being crazy unique

thing is tons of the residents are not estonian but russian so it's pretty much a dual language area because a bunch of residents only speak one or the other but most speak english

very good friend married an estonian girl, now lives there, i went to their wedding in tallinn

girl's mom is estonian, dad is russian, grew up in moscow, doesn't speak any estonian but identifies as estonian, needs to often use English there since sometimes the people she speaks with don't know russian

Correct answer here is no response at all (and don't unmatch). That IS the "upper hand". Re-evaluate if she gets back to you or if you change your mind about being into her.

Something like this maybe if he cared, which he doesn't.

If I cared a lot about this particular match:

- Why are we in this position? I've literally never gotten "I'll consider it". Was it "want to grab a drink at X on Thursday at 7?" all at once, possibly before there's been enough conversation? I would separate it - "want to grab a drink this week?" then "Wednesday or Friday?" then the time and place.

- The wording is still irritating enough that I'd do the same thing as I said for the other case, which is no response at all yet.

- If the "why" was because I had taken too big a leap with the ask before chatting enough, I'd wait with no response until at least 2 days after the asked date. This gives her a chance to come back and say yes, or to apologize on the day after the failed "plan", which she might. Then I'd return to the chat with a new opener, preferably related to something we'd already talked about. "hahaha just heard someone talking about that mural you said you hated". Go back and forth a couple times and get back into good shape, then on a later day "so do you want to grab a drink at some point?" (It goes without saying that we're not mentioning the failed attempt.)

- I can't think of any "why" that would make me not go silent at least for that day; but if I'm super into it, conversation was generally good, and there's enough time remaining before the not-date, I'd consider following up on the question normally.

just stumbled this thread from poker section, this feels weird lmao. Well, im 29 years old, ive been in dating scenes for around 9 years, these are some experiences that ive gotten after more than 200 meets (some are from same persons).

-if you've average pictures, make sure your bio is on point, cause girls DO look at it if they've intention meeting guys. Make sure its sexual but not pervert if you're looking for ONS/casual buddies.

-its not necessarily to spend more than $50 on a date (unless it includes airbnb), impress her with vibe, not wallet.

-ALL girls can be promiscuous, its how you present yourself to make her feel she's less judged so she can let her guard down, to tell you her juicy stories.

-Make sure you have sex with her by latest THIRD(3) date, if you've own place, you will be able to have sex with her quickly. Get down to sex then only talk about relationship, because once your had sex, your mind is clearer and considering whether to take her seriously.

**Do not buy her flowers, or be her therapist (fully) initially, these romantic things should be left onto after you seen her more than 6 months. Obviously you can't be playerish vibe all the time, just know how to balance.

When to push; when to pull
**Read her body cues.

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Two firsts for me this week (neither good):

Got ghosted between setting up a date and going out. I've had ghosting after dates trying to set up another, and "ghosting" before setting up a date (not really ghosting, more just a prospect that goes nowhere). This time I got a number, had a decent conversation going, set up a time and place to meet, then a couple days later I noticed she dropped to my ended conversations section on bumble. Shot off a text yesterday pretending not to notice just so I could get properly ghosted and not be the ******* in case she just very weirdly ended things on bumble but still planned to meet up.

Also got hit with an emotionally unavailable girl after a great couple of dates together. I mean I've probably dated emotionally unavailable girls before but this was the first time I got hit with a "Hey you're great and all but you should know I'm not over my ex-fiancé." Sucks.

Currently have one more lined up for Wednesday I feel pretty good about, she's young and hot and I hit her with a bunch of red flags in a very dgaf way cause I felt like she might be into it and she was. Another on Thursday who I'm just trying to bang, she's made it clear she's not that kind of girl so she's probably definitely that kind of girl.

Nevermind, this wasn't a ghosting, just weird. We texted Friday to set up a Tuesday date, figured that was perfect timing to check back in after the weekend, got deleted Sunday afternoon though. Sunday text went unanswered until Monday with a kind of half assed response that just complicated things so I shot back more aggressively saying specifically I was looking forward to Tuesday, no response. She got back to me Tuesday morning though acting all excited about the date. I had already written her off by then but I failed to schedule anything else in her place and I was kind of curious to figure out wtf was actually going on so against my better judgment I went ahead with it.

Talking on the date she let out that she "almost gave up on me" over the weekend cause I went dark on her (lol). Didn't get back to me on Monday night cause she legit spent the evening in the ER. So she's probably going to be clingy and crazy but other than that it was a really good date.

lol, great reports.

Can confirm that of the post-quar dates the one who called me up (rather than sticking to text) and eventually said "...and I'm not having sex with you tonight, just so that's clear" was the one who that happened with.

Sorry I missed these posts 10 months ago! I'm guessing right after I made the post you're responding to I stopped using 2p2 for 9 months.

Listening to the Savage Lovecast for a while first of all taught me that there are people who are just happier without long-term monogamy and that it's fine, which is something I previously would have thought was extremely weird. Always assumed the default that I'd get married and have kids some day, though was never attached to that idea unless there was a specific crush I was into.

At age 36 after 3 medium-long term relationships (lifetime) I realized they all eventually turned from me crushing very hard to me being pretty disinterested and feeling trapped. It is also as you say about lifestyle concessions.

I also started thinking more about what you might imagine as the perfect scenario, marrying some gorgeous brilliant famous person. And if I really got in the headspace I was like "nope...I'd be over her too".

I do sometimes still have strong enough crushes that I suspect could potentially work, but these are generally with unavailable women and of course that's likely the reason I think it in the first place.

Very recently I have a female friend trying to convince me that she knows a bunch of men who were happily "bachelor for life" in their 30s-40s but then got depressed in their 50s-60s. Idk...women are on average happier unmarried while men are the opposite, right? So it would stand to reason that there's a fair amount of gender crossover. For me this is probably a moot point anyway. There's no way I'm going to force myself into something in the name of commitment and of maybe avoiding a dip in happiness in 20 years. It's either going to make me happier now and then of course I'd go with it, or it's not.

Yea all of this hard - I am also fascinated about a lot of couples, and generally sense jealousy of me in married male friends. I think that some people are consciously making the tradeoff, some are truly happy, but I suspect a lot (men and women) are just legit trapped because breaking up is ****ing hard as hell.

It's especially horrifying once you start to think about the gender gap and how up until very recently a woman had to marry or she was doomed to poverty.

This has turned out to be accurate. She's thrown a ton of red flags at me talking about how her last relationship was 10 years ago, but also she has an ex that she's friends with and still talks to every day. How is that possible? Well the relationship didn't really count because he was and still is married. But at the same time she's acting like she's super into me and wants more than sex. I think she's still into it if I just don't kick her straight out after and give her a bit of time, get dinner or watch some TV together or whatever. I've been side stepping when she starts asking if I'm into more though, like yeah you're fun, I'm having a good time with you.

careful lol... I made this exact point in another thread, and this lunatic (really happily married, obv) lost his **** and accused me of being a 7/11 lifer who eats hot pockets on his futon every night.

Anyway, just returned from Panama. I have to give it an incomplete due to Covid (tons of stuff is still closed, 12AM curfew, cops everywhere enforcing masks, even out on the street). Bumble was actually the most active of the apps; I probably got more matches in a couple of days on there than I have for the last year in Gilead.

That said, I still don't think there was anything there that wasn't as good or better in Colombia, so I don't really see the need to go back.