I don't know about that. I would think it would turn a significant number of women off.

the type of women you dont want to go out with anyway

That's why I want to get it out of the way. It's a hell of a lot better than going on a date with them just to be rejected when you tell them you play poker.

absolutely

Yes, a lot of single women above 30 are pretty crazy, too.

Any cliffs to how OP has done so far in online dating?

I've been single since November and started dating websites in January. There have been a lot of ups and downs since Got really attached to a girl over four dates, but blew it when I mentioned I wanted a relationship with her. since then I have bedded another that I really don't want to see again (but seems to be texting me) and someone else from work (unrelated to dating site obv) who is hot and really likes me but I'm just not attracted to for whatever reason.

Through the various sites there has been a combination of neither really fancying each other and noone texting (probably the most common), neither fancying each other but me texting anyway and getting rejected, and me really liking her, us kissing but then getting rejected by text after a long delay since I texted (Sunday )

And then a whole lot of long email threads that go nowhere and no replies to initial emails.

I have three first dates next week and then I need to arrange a second date with a girl who has the same name as my sister...not sure about that one...

I do want a gf out of this rather than just a lot of sex. I feel like I'll get there in the end but patience is everything. I would say if you have the time to put in volume just sort as many dates as possible as there's a lot of variance in this game

Terrible.

What are you struggling with? The dates? Or getting dates in the first place?

Both. I really haven't bothered sending out messages in the last month, but like I said, I'm joining Match in a couple of days, and adding some new pictures to my OKC profile and trying it all again.

Is there much you can do if you're stuck sitting across from a girl at both venues? We met up for a coffee, and she had already picked a spot when I arrived so I sat across. Then after 45 minutes we decide to get a bite to eat at a restaurant next door and the only available seating was across from each other. Convo was great, but I struggle to get any physicality going when across from a girl. Is this just a planning fail more than anything or are you guys still able to get kino going even in scenarios like this?

Wait what? Are you saying you want to sit next to someone while at dinner on a first date?

It would be extremely weird if you weren't sitting across from them at the table. Like if it was a square table and not a rectangle(or booth) then not sitting across the table would be acceptable I guess.

No, normally I don't do dinner on a first date partly because of this reason. The dinner thing is irrelevant though, I'm just wondering if there's much that can be done to physically escalate if you're stuck across from the girl and don't have a chance to move the date.

Just go on to a bar afterwards where something can happen then, you don't have to 'escalate physically' in the restaurant. A lot of girls are wary of physical flirting too soon, just use the restaurant time to chat and get to know each other then when the meal is over casually ask if she wants a drink in a bar.
If you need to be touching her in the restaurant just put your hands on the table and subtly touch her hands at relevant points in the conversation, I've had this lead to holding hands by the end and that led to making out and one thing leads to another.

Easiest solution ever is this: go to a casual venue where there is either dinner and/or drinks, and pool. Pool is a really good way to be flirty and get slightly touchy when chemistry is present without making her uncomfortable.

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I ran into this scenario yesterday. Totally unfamiliar territory to me but I was feeling bold and the since the girl seemed into me - laughing at my lame jokes, twirling her hair, lingering eye contact - I had no problem just making up bull**** to touch her. For example: very deliberately reaching across the table to wipe something nonexistent off her chin; grabbed her hand and pulled in closer because I "wanted" to see her bracelet; while convo was going good slide my foot / leg closer to hers, let them touch, and then slowly pull away. At some point I remember thinking to myself - she's receptive, just keep acting like you've been banging her on the regular.

Okay, since none of my other call-outs have posted a pic, I guess I'll go first. This is my profile picture (it's actually kinda old and pretty bad; I really need to start having friends take pictures of me when I go out):



This is the second picture on my profile, and is much more recent. Don't really like this one either though...is it clear I don't get many pictures taken of me?


For super gheyaments, this is a picture of me about a week ago (that I texted to Girl #1 upon request...I need beach season or something to come because I feel like I might be on the border of people where it's appropriate for me to post a shirtless pic? Idk. Let me know



Have at it! FWIW I'm 5'8" on a good day, so AMA about being a short person on a dating site.

How is your response from non Asian girls? For some reason I rarely see asian men dating white/black/Latino women.

I think that's good enough to try a shirtless pic maybe? I wouldn't know

I'm skinny as **** and even if I was cut I would never use a shirtless pic but I think you should give it a try - maybe crop it just above the nips to reduce the douchiness factor?

Lower than it is for asian women, that's for sure. I do a little self-selection though- if there's a clear 8 or 9 that obviously gets a million messages, I won't even bother sending one out. Of course, there are about 10x as many white women compared to asian ones, so I've still gone out with more white girls than asian ones. I also only send out messages to white/asians, so I can't answer as to the other races.

Lawshawnda,

You aren't quite on that one guy's level that posted here ~ 2 months ago(?), but you are definitley in good enough shape where it won't hurt you. I'd say if you get a bit more cut up it would probably be an asset, in a candid photo. Above average looks. Also if you are 5'8" IRL I think rounding to 5'9" is probably a good idea.

Will post a couple photos of myself shortly.

Asked her yesterday afternoon, didn't get a text back until this morning and it said this weekend was no good but suggested next week. How often do I have no chance here?

Side comment- when a girl asks (in one of the first messages, this one was the first) if you're "doing anything fun this weekend", is this her probing to see if you're free to go out, or just a regular question?

damn now i have to start working out more

you totally one upped me

Woman dependant - How did the nature of the conversation go? If it's first question, I would say it's just making normal conversation. If things have been flowing well, I think there is a higher % of probing going on.