splash,

sounds like you made a pretty cool friend. girls actually try to be friends with us. annoying but true.

that you need to support this in a way other than "kids suck" with certain people.

I guess I don't randomly chat with my friends for no reason nearly as much as this girl. My other female friends don't talk to me this much. Oh well, no big deal.

splash,

I've had the same thing happen to me. The constant contact is very similar to a significant other or the beginnings of dating or a crush. Shes definitely oblivious to how it seems unless she actually wants you (her not mentioning the bf for a while is a pretty interesting part to the story)

Girls in relationships are tricky. Some like the attention of a new guy others have no idea how things are being perceived.

Either way cut down on the constant contact but keep her in the mix if shes cool.

Splash,

What interactions did you have with this girl to make your romantic intentions clear?

Well that's the thing. I wasn't explicitly clear. Which is why I listed that as a possible explanation in my first post. If I were in her shoes, it would have been painfully clear to me, but obviously that is a dumb approach.

In our class I give her 3x the attention that I give anyone else. And I spent a Saturday attending some boring event to spend time with her. But other than our (in my eyes) overly friendly interactions with her, you're right. I wasn't clear enough.

splash,

How old are you?

I think it was probably clear enough to her. You talk to her in class, you spend the day at the event, you go out after the event...not one word of the boyfriend all this time? Be careful bro.

28. What are you implying? That I went about this like some high school noob? You're probably right lol.

This is correct. First mention of the BF was when she contacted me over IM 2 days after the event.

There's a good chance she's playing you in some way. Maybe not..she could be clueless and didn't know you were hitting on her until her friends told her after the outing, or maybe she was interested but has changed her mind or feels guilty about the boyfriend now. Regardless, I think it's near 0% that the timing of the boyfriend reveal wasn't calculated.

Just be on your guard and don't get invested in her. If you do become friends, don't dote on her and make sure to talk to other girls when you're out with her. There is nothing more pathetic than the lovesick friend of an attached girl.

Btw, I'm going through almost this exact same thing right now so I can relate.

This perfectly exemplifies one of the big advantages to online dating over meeting people IRL: it's always clear that you're on a date.

As well as, "it's always clear that she doesn't have a boyfriend".

Or if she does, well, **** him then.

splash: Yeah, I was assuming you were prob like 18-21 in college based on that.

splash, Sly: Guy spends some time w/ her in class showing how "intelligent and helpful" he is, then takes her up on her offer to go to a "business event" that she has posted an open invite to the whole class to attend. So far none of that sounds flirty or romantic at all, and there's no reason for her to take it at anything more than face value. Sounds like once she realized that Splash was interested in more than friends, she made a point to let him know she has a boyfriend. Pretty silly imo to think she's "playing him" or any other crap like that.

Yea, I don't think she's "playing me", whatever that means. I just think it's strange that she didn't mention the bf until that late. Don't girls have to assume that if a guy is being nice to her, he wants her? I know that isn't always true, isn't it best to just extinguish that fire immediately? And now that she has mentioned the bf, she wants more attention from me than ever?? lol womenz

splash,

From now on all of my posts will begin like that. She seems nice and she seems to have fun friends. Cute girls have cute friends and you'll probably meet some single girls through her.

I don't know. The guy that has been extra helpful looks her up on IM and asks her to go to the event with him.. I think it had to at least occur to her that he might be interested. And yet neither she nor her friends mention her boyfriend all day while hanging out with him..seems weird.

Have you ever hung out for a day with a girl you know who has a boyfriend and his name not come up? You'd think it would just come up at some point if she wasn't avoiding the subject.

Um, no? There are far more male/female friendships than there are relationships in the world. They usually involve people being nice.

Some girls are nice to everyone and don't see anything meaningful in guys being nice to them. Beautiful girls in particular have LOTS of guys being nice and they just assume that's how the world is. Usually these are the kind of girls that shyer guys get infatuated with. So they have a whole string of male admirers who assume she's interested (because she's nice) who the girl actually has no interest in. It's quite funny, especially if the girl is a bit oblivious.
More like, lol guyz. Best way to sleep with a girl is to be up front, not sidle your way in by going to business events or hanging out with her. No one likes a sidler. The brain of an attractive, nice girl has "friends" and "potential lovers" categories in it. The latter can be the former but the former once established is just about never the latter. It's just a consequence of having to deal with an army of interest. What you do in the first hour of meeting will determine if you make it into the latter category. Best thing you can do if you messed up the first hour is to be a good friend, and use her to meet other girls.

splash, Sly: What Truth said.

splash: Next time you're in this situation with a girl, don't go to a class-related business event with her and her friends with some ulterior motive of getting closer to her and preparing to unleash your sweet moves. Just ask her out for a drink or something.

Splash,

Her not mentioning her Bf in your interactions up to this point is the same as her not mentioning she has a pet rabbit. There was no reason for her to share that with you in class when you were helping her or when you were at a business event with her group. It would have came up eventually and obviously did.





Sly,

They were at a open invite business group with her and her friends. They weren't exactly hanging out for the day.

Splash, how nerdy we talking about here? might she just be inexperienced with guys coming onto/being interested in her?

Think I was at that meetup? Georgia Avenue was there? Rocket bar?

(chatting irl w/married girl abt nutrition)

Her: my husband raises cage free chicken and we get to eat it! the wings are so much smaller than the store bought ones!

Me: does it taste better?

Her: yes!

Me: must be nice not having to eat mutant chickens.

Her: i don't know what that means.

god dammit

I don't really feel like spending much more time on this but we went to the event together and we hung out for the day afterwards.