you guys gotta realize he's going there for dating purposes and lifestyle purposes only

the only people living in Jersey City are living there to have cheaper housing close to their jobs in Manhattan. If his job isn't in Manhattan then why on earth would he want to live in Jersey City?

i'll stop derailing the thread and won't keep posting on this, just bear in mind the people living in jersey telling you that's a good option is like asking a vegan which steakhouse they prefer. try to find one person living in manhattan who would choose jersey instead if they were going there for dating...

Jersey City is definitely different than areas of BK/Queens just over the east river. I agree the main benefit there is Manhattan proximity while avoiding city taxes and getting more affordable housing. It’s also much worse in terms of getting back at non peak hours via mass transit or Uber. It wouldn’t make much sense unless cost was a serious issue and you wanted to play a ton of poker though.

Ownership wasn't really central to my point, I was just making the point that in London pretty much everyone lives in the outer reaches of the city, it's normal. If dating in NYC really is as status obsessed as you say, that's pretty sad for regular single NYC folks who can't afford to rent in Manhattan. Which I presume is most people

I can probably offer the best opinion on London vs American city dating since I've lived in both. I will proffer the opinion that the logistics of dating in Europe are a LOT different than in the US because of high-functioning public transit (Sandra I know as a Brit you probably think it sucks, but it's way better than even NYC which has the best public transit in the US). I worked with single guys in their 20s who lived 30 miles from the office in London, didn't seem like a huge deal, they can always get home after a date or pub closing.

Also, London in particular is a lot less dense than the largest American cities. A girl who wants to be a snob and say "I'll only date guys in Marylebone/Mayfair/Kensington/Chelsea" is crippling her dating pool because there simply aren't enough men in those areas. Meanwhile saying "I'll only date guys in Manhattan" still leaves her with a population of almost 2 million (though as Mullen correctly pointed out, the NYC dating pool has certainly dispersed over the past decade).

I did once see someone in Manhattan complain that they couldn't set their dating app search radius to only a few blocks.

Ahh, that does make sense, thanks.

Although, if a girl wanted to she could probably broaden her radius to include the whole of central London, let's say within the Circle Line (rather than isolated parts of it) and have a population not too much smaller than Manhattan (on the basis that it's simply a bigger area), and that would give her the guys with the status she'd be looking for. I'm sure it does happen, but it's just not that much of a prevalent mindset here.

She agreed on a second date after meeting up last Saturday. Unfortunately I am away for vacation on another continent for 10 days. I am not a big texter so I told her I’ll reach out when I get back. How should I structure my message to lower the chances of flaking given the long delay?

I’m thinking of re-opening with a pic of me on vacation and something like “Hey I’m back from Europe, lets hang”. Too basic? Maybe I should send a dick pick instead.

Dick picks are so 2012. Send an azzhole pic instead.

Pic from trip + brief caption of pic + "let's get a drink on night X" sounds perfect.

I did have a girl totally flake on me in this scenario about a month ago, sometimes it happens and there's nothing you can do, but I think the likelihood is fairly low.

Makes me further LOL at people here in Boston that refuse to date anyone "on the other side of the river" that are a whole 1-2 miles/20-30 min via train away (in a city with 8% of the population of a Manhattan/NYC)

Joe,

I don’t know anything about DC dating, but there’s simply nothing like being in your 30s in NYC making decent money when it comes to dating. And nowadays there’s a decent argument for Brooklyn being as good or better than Manhattan for dating, though it’s not like you’re saving any/much money living in prime parts of Brooklyn. A lot of NYC location choice just depends on the specific type of woman you’re most interested in dating.

LUBER

n1 the artful dodger.

TRIGGEREDDDDD

Don't ask for the second date right away. Message her a couple of days after you return with something witty and see how conversation goes. You need to re establish amotr rapor before asking her out again

Ai ya, even El D coming out of the woodwork to talk about NYC. Mullen, thanks for the offer, I will DM you sometime this week!

What do you guys feel about the site seeking arrangement?

Next to nothing other than the obvious, but I've been hoping for someone to do a TR on it here!

Thanks for the advice, yep will try to build back rapport a few days before I head back.

——————————-

Line check here, anything I could do better? Just getting back to online dating and am pretty rusty.

I'm not taking a stance on that being good strategy or not.

I'm just genuinely curious if you're aware you're calling her boring, then throwing in a second jab at her toppings comment and then asking her out all at the same moment.

If she hasn't responded then definitely point out she looks cross-eyed in her profile photo

Your read is right, I was annoyed at the one word responses and decided to vent a little. I guess its a bit too harsh, thanks for the response.

Wasn’t trying to ask her out (I should’ve phrased it as a comment now I think more throughly). Wanted to steer the convo to something more interesting.

It would help if you consider the opening moments of an online dating conversation as liken to an American gladiators obstacle course. It doesn't matter what they throw at you, you are determined to power through to the finish.

Rule one is match investment. If she's only using a few words then you use a few words. I've had 15 message back and forth one to 3 word exchanges. Then you suddenly break through and get a real response. If you can't handle a few short responses, how will you handle LMR, or any other situation that might come up where you could easily get frustrated

I mean she def has a lazy eye going. One is looking dead st the camera and the other one is trying to but is looking off to the left lol

How do you guys keep a convo going while not exceeding their word count? Can anyone post an example?

Also lol @ all the crossed-eye comments

What kind of monster has a box of water and a plastic cup of water?