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Old 04-26-2013, 11:31 AM   #5051
dalerobk2
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Re: Online dating thread

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Originally Posted by Sly Caveat View Post
Create a gimmick profile and start messaging her again. Get her to meet you at a bar and have someone from OOT secretly film her waiting for you to arrive. Then send her this text:

I'm about two minutes away. Sorry, but I wanted to rub one out before I left home.
This is good, but better yet would be for YTF to arrive at the bar with his hand in his pants ferociously yanking away.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:33 AM   #5052
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Re: Online dating thread

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Originally Posted by Sly Caveat View Post
Create a gimmick profile and start messaging her again. Get her to meet you at a bar and have someone from OOT secretly film her waiting for you to arrive. Then send her this text:

I'm about two minutes away. Sorry, but I wanted to rub one out before I left home.

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Old 04-26-2013, 11:38 AM   #5053
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Re: Online dating thread

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This is good, but better yet would be for YTF to arrive at the bar with his hand in his pants ferociously yanking away.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:45 AM   #5054
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Re: Online dating thread

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Originally Posted by Sly Caveat View Post
Man did I run good on when to start following this thread. Are there other episodes that even approach the "I can't turn away from this trainwreck" value of this exchange? I may need to go back and read through it.
Nothing like YTF, but NickMPK's ("the professor") failures to understand why he was bombing out on dates while discussing politics and the finer points of his doctoral dissertation were pretty funny. He even asked a girl for advice on where he went wrong and got a lulzy reply back. There was also a bunch of impotent short guy rage (is there another kind?) which was slapped down by El Diablo.

Overall it's a quality thread.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:46 AM   #5055
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Re: Online dating thread

Oh come on, if he goes by Bobby, he should sign his name Bobby. You all are just nitpicking. The extremely long apology is horrible, but mostly because very long rambly apologies almost always come across as rationalizations. FWIW, I sign my name to the first message I send a girl, but never after that, except in rare cases where the girl actually signs her name to all messages.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:53 AM   #5056
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Re: Online dating thread

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youtalkfunny,

I thoroughly enjoyed your losing weight thread and your ability to change your mind unlike most fatties. So I'm going to try to help you. Let me write out the subtext that she will read from all the noise you wrote:


You should do what I tell you, kid. Ain't nothing worse than making up your own mind. Ugh, he's not starting off well.


Wow, he really did want just sex, and I can't believe he told his friends - now if I date him his friends will know about our sexting and think I'm a slut or laugh at me. I can never trust this guy.


He still doesn't get what he did wrong. What a total **** up.


Wow, this guy has no respect for my privacy. What was I thinking?


God this guy is so dumb


Horny toad needs to be told he's overly horny? This is weird.


So this is a grown man who calls me "kid", but is worse than a horny teenager? How long since this guy has had sex? Sooooo unappealing.


So you're not like the other guy


Except you're exactly like him and don't even have the self awareness to realize it - and all it took was a little dirty talk to get you there. What a pig you are.


Thanks for confirming that you're a full blown creeper, *******.


You just proved that it is yet again with this email. Get a tiny bit of self awareness.


You think I want to be reminded of what I said to a creep? You think reminding of this is a good idea? How are you not getting this? Way to blow your final chance, buddy.


He can't even be honest in an apology email; what a piece of **** this guy is.


Ok. I genuinely believe this. Why he couldn't just say this without making it worse? What an idiot. I appreciate that he got there in the end, but I'm pretty wary of this guy and there's no way this creeper would get sex for ages even if I did meet him.
lolz, this is great.


YTF, since you've just made this into the best thread going atm please continue to post your exchanges with other woman.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:56 AM   #5057
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Ytf,

What everyone said (except the bobby part; if you go by bobby I think it's fine to sign that). Truths parsing of your message was on the money.

The main problem with the apology is exactly the same as your problem through much of the weight loss and various other threads. You simply don't want to really take responsibility for your actions and really acknowledge that things are your fault. Sure you finally weave your way around into a half-hearted apology, but not before you repeatedly try and justify your actions and blame her for making you act the way you did. You're also about 1/10 as clever and witty as you think you are, and any non-idiot is going to see through all the BS.

Something like what dig wrote would have been way better. I was gonna suggest something like "I'm sorry. Wow, I re-read our messages and feel like a total jackass now. No excuse at all for getting so carried away, and I hope you can accept my apology for temporarily losing my mind."
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:17 PM   #5058
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Re: Online dating thread

ytf,

please respond.

might have been slightly better
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:24 PM   #5059
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Re: Online dating thread

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Roughly perused Jmakin's post and I have to strongly disagree. Basically all he does is make foolish, shallow and immature insults on totally fine and sensible things ytf said. And he basically backs it up with nothing of substance. It's as if he's either just trying to cut into YTF's confidence or make people think he's cool or funny.

I would definitely take the over on jmakin being a big "loser" himself. He's like the kid in 8th grade who thinks he knows everything and is trying to be cool.

In the real world, great things happen out of spontaneity. fwiw I thought ytf's e-mails read nicely, but even if they hadn't.. i'd take his genuine spontaneity over some unnatural pre-conceived concepts anyday.
I will admit I often come off as arrogant and abrasive and I was in kind of a foul mood when I wrote that, but seriously, if you think there's nothing wrong with that email exchange, I just... Really have no words.

I'm a loser in a lot of ways but not when it comes to women.

YTF I'm sorry if I was overly harsh but you seem to only respond to this kind of negative attention and it got you some good results in the weight loss thread. Keep on trucking, I wouldn't bother with an apology, this is pretty unsalvageable.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:37 PM   #5060
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Re: Online dating thread

FWIW Jmakin, 18yos are a different kettle of fish to 40yos. Plenty of people get weird and perverted as they get older, like a moldy cheese that's been left to age. What's gross to you is actually desirable and interesting to older women. Don't ask me why (or why people like blue vein cheese - ugh) but that's the way it is.

Still, being a jobless ginger in your early 20s with a cute 18yo that's happy to pay for you and buys you gifts means you're doing very well with women, so congrats on being you.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:40 PM   #5061
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Re: Online dating thread

Oh man, I just read the apology. That's not really an apology.

YTF, if you started a blog I would read it.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:42 PM   #5062
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Re: Online dating thread

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FWIW Jmakin, 18yos are a different kettle of fish to 40yos. Plenty of people get weird and perverted as they get older, like a moldy cheese that's been left to age. What's gross to you is actually desirable and interesting to older women. Don't ask me why (or why people like blue vein cheese - ugh) but that's the way it is.

Still, being a jobless ginger in your early 20s with a cute 18yo that's happy to pay for you and buys you gifts means you're doing very well with women, so congrats on being you.
That may be true but there's still nothing right about that email exchange. My gf is 21 and I have a job.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:44 PM   #5063
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Re: Online dating thread

OK, my bad...anyway I think the email exchange is fine until he started listing the weirdest places where he'd jacked off to a woman he'd never met. Yeah it's weird to me too and hard to read but she lapped it up obviously. I actually couldn't believe the way she was replying but she liked it.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:50 PM   #5064
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Re: Online dating thread

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Originally Posted by Truthsayer View Post
Still, being a jobless ginger in your early 20s with a cute 18yo that's happy to pay for you and buys you gifts means you're doing very well with women, so congrats on being you.
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Old 04-26-2013, 12:53 PM   #5065
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Re: Online dating thread

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So there's a girl I met on OKC last month. 25 year old Asian girl, we seemed to hit it off OKC and made plans to meet up. We went to some local batting cages, but only spent about 30 minutes there before she had to go to dance classes. Texted back and forth a couple of times after that (I was always the one who initiated the texting) but I seemed to be heading towards a second meeting until...

I was at the casino playing one afternoon, and some guy was yammering to the table all for hours on end. I'd never been around such a loudmouth in my life. I texted her about the situation, as she has a good sense of humor and I thought she might find it funny. She seemed to find it reasonably funny. Finally, I texted her this.

Me: An older black man just cursed him out. He couldn't take anymore.

Her:Why?

Me: He kept calling him Herman Cain.

Her: lol

Me "Don't call me Herman Cain, ask me my ****ing name, mother****er!"

She didn't respond to that last text, and didn't respond to a text trying to initiate conversation a couple of days later. Guessing I blew it with my profanity and general weirdness, but I'd really like to chat with this girl again. Any thoughts?


are all her text messages to you this short or does she actually contribute to the conversation at some points? imo this is pretty much just one step above ignoring you.

if she does, then its nbd. just wait a couple of days and assuming you havent heard from her yet just start another conversation about something else like this one never happened.
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Old 04-26-2013, 01:53 PM   #5066
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Re: Online dating thread

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Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
I will admit I often come off as arrogant and abrasive and I was in kind of a foul mood when I wrote that, but seriously, if you think there's nothing wrong with that email exchange, I just... Really have no words.

I'm a loser in a lot of ways but not when it comes to women.

YTF I'm sorry if I was overly harsh but you seem to only respond to this kind of negative attention and it got you some good results in the weight loss thread. Keep on trucking, I wouldn't bother with an apology, this is pretty unsalvageable.
I thought your post was spot on and far less abrasive than informative.

ytf, the best part about your exchange was you put in a ton of effort to get her wet, and she got wet. props. the worst part was the 1235234 lies you told to get there. tripping on your feet after was INEVITABLE. ducy?

saying stuff like "you should never lead a guy on" is some weak stuff too.

edit: dear lord at that apology. i thought the first last message was supposed to be an apology. then i see the REAL one, and it starts with:

Quote:
I told a few friends about our correspondence ("...she spends the weekend telling me she wants to suck me off, ride me till I come, this and that, she's playing with herself every time she thinks of me--then she's outraged that I'm thinking we're gonna screw!"),
i figured your newest apology would be some backhanded passive bs crap but this message exposed yourself as, wait - nope, same passive/dick/crap/troal. she probably threw up when she read the FIRST LINES of your apology. what the **** bro??

the fact you still can't see this is much worse than actually doing it for dramatic purposes only.

the fact you need to send apologies like this (what i mean is clearly the correspondence is over, you know almost nothing about this girl, and you're writing long heartfelt messages about it.) is pretty bad. I interpret this as you being too insecure to share some of your feelings bc things could be lost in translation, so you go completely HAM and lay out the entire framework of your problems to her.

like, how do you not see that typing I LOST MY MIND repeatedly is extremely poor form for convincing a woman to invest a part of her life in YOU?

Last edited by Tumaterminator; 04-26-2013 at 02:15 PM.
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:22 PM   #5067
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Re: Online dating thread

ytf, fire up the flux capacitor and send a new apology:

Quote:
Hey. I took a step back and realized I was writing you messages that were inappropriate and hardly a representation of who I am in real life. I should have listened more and been a one-dimensional ******* less.

I'm sorry. Good luck in your search.

-Bobby
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:25 PM   #5068
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Re: Online dating thread

ytf,

It can't hurt to send tuma's message. At least you'd wrap things up w/ a real apology rather than, as he accurately puts it, that passive-aggressive BS.
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:42 PM   #5069
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Re: Online dating thread

jus create a gimmick and try again with advice youve gotten

and post all correspondance

don't let this girl beat you ytf
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:48 PM   #5070
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Re: Online dating thread

Or, create a gimmick, then do the exact same thing you just did for maximum humor
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:50 PM   #5071
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Re: Online dating thread

You vixen, you! Needs to be his new title

The apology needs to be in his own words or not at all. Do the girl a favor and just stop contacting her.
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Old 04-26-2013, 02:59 PM   #5072
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Re: Online dating thread

Perhaps we should make a list of the top 5(000000) things he should do differently...I'll start.

1. Use less pet names/weird phrases such as:
-kid
-you vixen, you
-angel
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:21 PM   #5073
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo View Post
It can't hurt to send tuma's message.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
Do the girl a favor and just stop contacting her.
It's not very often you should listen to jmakin over el d but this is one of those times.
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:24 PM   #5074
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Re: Online dating thread

send the message to pass Go and collect sklansky bucks for a restraining order.
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:28 PM   #5075
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Re: Online dating thread

d10,

He's gonna contact her again, though...
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