Maybe I'm just old, but I don't think I've ever received an unsolicited titty pic.

These + Jo’s quote are all reasonable and standard (& agree that Balt’s line depends on context & flow — it can definitely come off as needy and insecure in some contexts instead of funny).

I’ve frequently used some variant of “btw my number is xxx-xxxx in case that’s easier tomorrow” if we haven’t yet exchanged numbers (which tends to happen a lot if your modus is to use the app to quickly schedule meeting).

My first ever catfish attempt from a girl what a milestone! She was so aggressive in the texts it’s not even funny I wonder what % of people fall for that scam. “Oh I accidentally sent pics how embarrassing would you be interested in effing me instead, person who I know absolutely nothing about?” She tried to get me to click on a shady video chat link maybe that was the scam.

Tinder/Bumble Playbook from someone who's done this far too many times:

Profile: It's a bit different for CDMX obviously. I just list my height, the fact I've been here for 8 months, that I travel and have lived in many different places, I speak 3 languages, and a few interests like yoga/meditation to communicate that I'm not really a partier. I think here it's mostly just important to say "hey, I'm a tall (for CDMX) white guy with solid Spanish who is here for the long haul, not just passing through for the weekend". That seems to be enough to hook a lot of girls.

Opener: 90% of the time, I just use a canned opener "Hey, when our friends ask us out how we met, what are we gonna tell them?" (in Spanish though). Maybe not the greatest ever, but it's led to some funny, creative answers, one girl told me we can say that she saw me begging for coins in el centro. Some girls just say "Tinder", to which I reply "Yah, the truth is always best" then go from there. 10% of the time if she has a pic or has written something that really interests me then I'll just craft a unique opener based on that.

Messaging: Most of the time ends up being messages about where we're from, where we've traveled, why I'm here, which is kinda boring at this point, occasionally it's a really interesting girl and I'll chat with her for a while longer before asking her out b/c I'm enjoying the chat. Otherwise, with 80% of the girls, if I'm interested in meeting, I'll ask them out after we've both sent 4 or 5 messages. Lately though I find myself gravitating more towards wanting to go out with the former group, where we have lots to talk about, even if sometimes they aren't as attractive as some of the less engaging girls.

Closing: A simple "Let's grab a coffee/drink this week". Usually they'll agree then I'll say "I'll add you on WhatsApp to organize ourselves". 95% don't have a problem with this and will give me their #, and 100% of girls here use WhatsApp instead of text.

WhatsApp: "Hey this is xxx the gringo from Tinder", usually gets a laugh. I'll usually try to set up the date for 2-4 days in advance, so if it's a Monday I'll say "Are you free Thursday after work for a drink?" I like to keep the time a bit general so that the day before (Wednesday) I can say "Is 7PM good for you tomorrow?" which seems like a more organic "flake check".

So that's basically it. Nothing mind-blowing and I feel like I've streamlined my process which works great for me here, but of course I'd make a few tweaks if I were in a different market.

Fossil, you are a true pro.

good stuff

thanks for sharing

Here's one for Avaritia, since he mentioned redheads. Not really my type, but would sex. She opened with "what are the 3 things you'd most like to do before it's too late?" So I decided to go super aggro and say "travel to each continent, learn at least 6 languages, and spend a night with you". Probably 80% chance I'm instablocked, but crossing my fingers.

Pics with leather pants or s/m gear=

You got a good shot.

solid date last night with a 5'11 girl with a sick body and A+ legs. even better she actually made an effort and wore a dress, looked great. Will admit I accepted the date based on her body but she was good fun and it all flowed well. We ended up downstairs in the bar with the owners in the as-yet-unopened brand new pool room playing with the shinest balls I've ever seen. She'll be playing with mine soon no doubt!

So few girls dress up for dates these days like that. It's probably a function of coming straight from work but still, that sort of effort goes a long way.

hmm. wtf do you think is going on here Fossil?

Better question: wtf do YOU think is going on?

i've got an idea, but i don't want to color Fossil's reply.

Honestly no idea. Slightly ill-fitting pants? Possibly concealing a weapon?

Redbull can

Thank you for sharing reds with us fossil. Its just lighting.

How much success do you think you have from just the "exotic" factor? i.e. being a gringo in latin america?

When is the last time you were stateside and how much tougher do you think the market is in general?

I think some of it is the exotic factor, but a lot of it is just being in a city with 20 million people, so it seems like there's an endless supply of new girls each day, so there will always be a handful of attractive girls interested.

The last time I lived full-time in the USA was Denver in 2010 and I wasn't online dating back then. I came back to Omaha a couple times for a few months at a time, but was never too serious about swiping. A little over a year ago I was swiping a bit in Omaha and Tinder seemed beyond useless there. I only matched with a few blimps, but then I tried Bumble and I got a handful of matches from cute, interesting girls.

I briefly thought about moving to Austin when I was done with France, but then I visited CDMX and liked it a lot more, even ignoring the fact that Austin would probably be at least 2x as expensive for me.

10-4 was just curious. Came across another article talking about the female message spamming problem, one girl who'd I'd give a very generous 4/10 claimed she received 100 messages per day.

Like, how the f**k do you get noticed in that sea of spew? I think your recs above are solid, it just seems pretty daunting to me.

Fossil what do you do for work or money?

I think the # of legit options a lot of these girls have is lower than we think. Sure there are dozens of guys messaging, "hey ur sexy" or losers spamming "what are you doing now?" every day, but maybe not so many guys they're actually interested in. One of my good friends in Lyon is probably a 9 in looks and I saw her FB and text inbox once and it was basically just friends and family and I was wondering "how the **** is she not getting blown up like every 5 minutes??".

I have over 2000 matches now from swiping right non-stop in CDMX for a couple months and some swiping in Colombia/Peru, but after awhile, you don't even really care about the attention. For example, when I first got to CDMX and got 50 matches in a day I'd think "holy ****, this is amazing", but now if I get 50 matches and none are that interesting, it's the same as if I had gotten 0. If I get opened by 10 girls and none are attractive, I don't even care about the attention.

I can only speak for myself, but even when I'm chatting with 20 girls on the apps or in WhatsApp that I'm somewhat interested in, once I have an amazing date or 2 with a girl, then I start zoning in hard on that girl and start to forget about the others. So even though I'm getting attention, my mindset changes once I really like someone. I'm guessing it's probably similar for most girls. So I wouldn't be too discouraged by the fact that some girls might be chatting with a bunch of dudes b/c if you have a great date with her, then she'll give you her attention.

Also, I used to put a lot of pressure on myself on first dates, but each girl is different and the chemistry with each girl is different. So it's almost a bit of a crapshoot. Some girls I just meet and I feel great around them right away and the convo flows easy and everything is fun. Some girls, even ones where we seemed to have a ton in common messaging, it's just different once we meet up.

Online poker

Yea I hear you and I know we've beaten this dead horse but everything you outlined above means looks is the first filter when swiping...so avg guys or even above avg guys are at a major disadvantage.

My texting game is strong, if intro was the first filter I'd have extreme confidence in the game. But since I'm just some average guy (I love myself and think I'm great looking, but also a realist)...then its an uphill battle...where you might not even be granted access on the hill.

Also, mandatory "But how much do you lose?"

oh **** thats actually more impressive than your dating game, like seriously, didn't think games were still THAT good


any advice? I assume being playful/funny is key but anything else you want to chime in and give pointers or tips on?

Yuuup true true. Another reality is that most dudes are terrible at taking pics...but for folks willing to put forth some initial effort there (pokerjo's reddit link from ~100 posts ago is good advice), even the average dudes can rise to the top of that first filter.

Its crazy. Especially when you consider how most of the posts here about various women are just talking about their schooling, jobs, interesting facts about them, cute lines from their profiles /sarcasm

The fact that everyone in this thread bases whether a dude like Fossil should choose a girl based on pics and pics alone tells you how women are choosing men. No need to bemoan the state of things if everyone is doing it.

I told him that they were all pretty and he should go out with whoever he had the best conversations with...

I didn't really see it that way. Obviously if I post a group of girls, then people are going to rate them b/c it's fun. And if they only have pics of girls and little or no info, then obviously the only advice they can give is based on looks.

I've said a couple times that I'm gravitating more towards the girls lately where I have interesting convos early on instead of the ones that are hot, but we only exchange 4 boring lines of text with each other.

Also, the stuff about interests, schooling, whatever, is gonna be so highly specific to each individual that you can't really give someone advice based on that. I know the type of girl I like (liberal, travels a lot, speaks multiple languages, into yoga or meditation is a massive plus, doesn't smoke or drink much, not a party girl, etc.) but for some other guy it could be completely different.

Of course on Tinder or Bumble there's gonna be the initial filter based on looks for guys or girls, but if you get beyond that stage I think you can greatly improve your chances by being interesting and understanding how the dating process works.