What's the problem here ATF? Just hang out with her on one of those days that's best for you. Why would you think there's a better than normal chance of getting laid.You shouldn't even be thinking about that, the girl just wants to hang out with you, she def doesn't want you to "push" to get laid on a first meeting.

Why can't you have a drink with her, you don't drink?

Girls that want to meet sooner rather than later usually go on a fair number of dates- they don't waste their time 'getting to know' you until after that initial meeting is out of the way, in case there's no chemistry

I've never seen this movie, nor this scene until now. I wish I could recall exactly what year it was that I worked with a girl named Gina, who left her husband for a female coworker. Less than a year later, she was dating men again, and when I expressed surprise that the two girls had broken up (they seemed really into each other), a male co-worker cracked, "She's back on the stick." I always found line funny, and now I'm SO hoping that this took place before that movie came out in 2005 (it's close either way).

This 46-year-old finds this amazing.

This is a great answer. I hadn't realized it broke that way until bigt pointed it out, but as the owner of a crappy car, I can +1 his opinion. Every girl who couldn't hide her dissatisfaction with my car has turned out to be a girl I didn't see a second time, and I never missed any of 'em. I realize that could be sour grapes on my part, or that I'm conflating the correlation/causation involved, but whatever.

The date is set for tomorrow (my first night off since getting her phone number--we're old, so we still do that, lol), and the "joking references about the sex we're going to have" have escalated into full-blown sexting--if OKC messages can be listed in that genre--again, it was her and not me who sent us in that direction. She told me she beat off twice this weekend, thinking of me. I mean, can a guy be any more "in" on the first date than that?

You're in, but I don't think girls beat off. Did she actually say beat off, or she said sth else and you're saying she beat off?

Hi guys,

I read about the last 30 pages of this thread, so if this has been covered before, please let me know. I recently got out of a long-term relationship, and now think I'm ready to start dating again. I'm 23 and work as a finance person in NYC. I'm considering putting together an okcupid or match account, but I don't want it to be generic-looking. As far as I understand, men outnumber the women on there pretty substantially, so we're at somewhat of a disadvantage. Do you guys have any tips for improving your profiles so that you get conversations started in the first place?

Thanks!

I think this is about right. I have a really crappy car, but the women I've gone out with knew what I did for a living and that I earned a decent salary.

Also, I do try to park in an area where they won't see it on the first get together, so at least it doesn't make a first impression. And if they do see it, I always make a joke or two about it. It always makes them laugh. At least, they seem to think my crappy car jokes are funny.

Yeah, girls don't beat off bro. Need more details (posting the messages would be nice.) Hope you don't find Tootsie waiting for you at the bar.

Also, I'd have to see your replies but I think it's a bad idea to sext with a girl before you meet her. If she's the kind of girl to do that, then it's pretty easy to escalate it after you meet her. It's going to be really awkward for you after all this sexting if you get to the bar and see that she's unattractive. It's a lot easier to plan to meet for a coffee and turn it into an all-nighter than to prime her for an all-nighter and then bail after one drink.

Edit- I should add that it's really easy if you're smart about it to let her do all the sexting. If you find out she's ugly you will be glad you replied "You're a bad girl" rather than "I can't wait to rip your clothes off". Know what I mean?

I haven't been following this thread lately, but has anyone actually found a relationship off one of these sites?

I've been going out with a girl I met through a friend lately, but feel like that's fizzling out a bit, so I'm going to go on a few dates in the next few days (I'm quite the self-saboteur).

The girl I'm going out with tomorrow is a really hot 23 year old who I met online in September (she was on okcupid for about 24 hours haha). We hooked up a bunch last fall, but she wasn't looking for anything serious at the time. She flaked on me a few times in a row, then I got really busy, so I forgot about her. I saw her once during my really busy stretch and she was mentioning how she wanted a relationship, and I remember just being too stressed to be bothered with her indecision. Now I'm excited to hang out with her (she had been seeing some guy but said that ended, so we'll see).

Smart, smart man right here

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Sounds like she's your average wishy washy girl from reading this, I could be wrong but hopefully it works out for you

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I mean she is, but to be fair to her she had just broken up with a long term boyfriend after graduating in the spring. I'm sure she didn't know what she wanted when we were hanging out... we'll see how things pan out.

If you're 23 with a good job, aren't ugly and can string some sentences together, you can do very well for yourself online. Post some ideas of what you're writing and we (or at least I) will be glad to give pointers

That's what I was thinking. For myself, the possible time waste is in making the hour+ long round trip into the city. I prefer to build up some rapport first; not too much but enough to get a general feel for the girl's personality.

My blatant use of sexual innuendo, then shipping her another pic of myself followed by her immediate invitation to meet up the next day? That said, I've quickly realized that it's the absolute worst mindset to carry into a date, especially one with a total unknown.

Correct, I don't drink alcohol. I abuse it.


EDIT: My experience with online girls who are short on messages but interested in meeting usually concluded with them saying 'let's meet up. (XXX)XXX-XXXX'. She didn't provide her number so I went ahead and used a strategy discussed here and responded with my number.

Don't go into a date thinking about the odds of it turning into sex. Girls (even ugly ones) are constantly presented with opportunities to bang- they can smell it from a mile away. If she's up for it, especially after the dirty texting or emails, she'll make it clear on the date. Always go with an open mind- whatever happens, happens.

I'm getting drinks tonight with a girl who normally works a night shift (8pm-8am). She's not working tonight ldo. Anyone ever done this? I'm not sure if I should plan things any differently considering this is basically an early morning date for her.

Al Swearengen: What happened to Tolliver illustrated till the race is ****ing finished, never mark the ****ing wager paid. Wakes up this morning in bed with the ****ing Hearst combine, knowing he's got us by the balls. Whatever sick ****ing business that geologist has transacted, you can bet he had his wrists in it up...

Dan Dority: Tolliver.

Al Swearengen: Tolliver, yeah.. before, after, and in the ****ing middle too, thinking he's got the ****ing edge, which is the right ****ing move. Underwriting whatever sick business that geologist was involved in guarantees his ****ing position, but what ****ing happens, Dan?

Dan Dority: ****s himself up the ass.. Tolliver.

Swearengen: No mean feat! Yet how often we bring it off.





Gee whiz, fellas, give me a little creative license here. "Beat off" was my phrase, not hers. I thought you'd know what I meant.

You forget you're talking to a lifelong fattie. You think I'm turning my nose up at the ugly ones?

Please to be sharing funny crappy car jokes. I could use some. "Hey, it's paid for!" isn't getting me very far.

I work nights. We know we're the minority, and we have to do the adapting when dating normal, day shift people. And just because she starts at 8 PM doesn't mean that's her "morning". Many folks I know who work nights are up in the afternoon, do their errands then, and retire for the evening shortly after getting home from work.

My work schedule has been the biggest crimp in my dating life--not just nights, but weekends as well. Tell that to a girl, and they understandably grow concerned about hitching their wagon to a guy they'll never get to see.

"Gee whiz, fellas, give me a little creative license here. "Beat off" was my phrase, not hers. I thought you'd know what I meant."

That's what we were afraid of.

Also can you explain how she "found out" you were expecting the night to be about sex before you two met?

No part of that is normal, youtalkfunny. I say just move on.

ytf,

1) Please share the exchanges with this woman, specifically up through how things progressed to the sex talk.

2) What Fabian said. What did you actually say to her re: sex tonight?

She knew and she wasn't disgusted before. Her change of heart may or may not have something to do with what you did or said. But you're right about not counting it in until you're in. Girls are known to change emotions pretty quickly. One day she wants to bang, next day she doesn't. You should always assume you're going to have to put in work to get her in the right mood.

ytf,

As for crappy car jokes, like I said, I try to have them not see the car at all the first couple dates, which normally isn't that hard. If they do happen to see it, I might just laugh it off and joke about how I was hoping for them to not see my car. Generally making light of it. My standard line is something like, "What? You don't like this car? It's a total chick magnet!" Or something along those lines. I have some other line, but can't think of it right now.

Again, I actually have a good job, which helps a lot. I also will often explain that I'm keeping it for another year so I can give it to my niece when she starts driving, which happens to be true.

What do you drive Dale? Can't be that bad... just older?

If you post the messages I feel like there will be some facepalm-inducing exchange like this:

Her: I shouldn't say this, but I've been thinking about you a little too much for someone I haven't met yet...even when I use my vibrator. Hehe.

YTF: I am going to **** the **** out of you tomorrow night.

It's a 2000 Nissan Sentra with 190,000 miles. It actually has been a great car. It looked fine until 18 months ago and then rust started appearing and the paint is half peeled off at this point. It honestly looks like ****. I bought it brand new in 2000 and I often mention that too, if the car makes an unexpected appearance.

I've actually thought about buying a new car now and just keeping my car parked in the parking lot for the next year. But that just seems silly, especially since I only put 7,000-8,000 miles a year on it.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder why someone working in finance in NYC at such a young age even needs the internet for dates.