You're probably right. But on our first date she said something to the effect of "you should want me to delete my profile". That combined with the fact that she logged in everyday until our first date and then did not until an hour or so after the conclusion of our second is pretty solid break from her normal behavior. Who cares though.

She's definitely an odd bird though. I called her before our first date and she didn't pick up. On the date she explained that people don't call anymore, only text. Uh, okay; whatever. Whenever I would text her she would take 24 hours or longer to respond... unless it was the day of the date. Is this normal? My other two online dates were literally in constant contact with me. Anyways, for someone who admitted that her biggest fear in life is dying alone, she's not trying very hard to connect... at least she didn't with me. Next.

I think the most relevant thing you've said so far is that this is you getting your bearings straight/feet wet with online dating. Start messaging a lot of girls, even ones you've convinced yourself it normally wouldn't work with. You never know. At the very least, you learn lessons and figure out how to refine things. If you're lucky, you find a hidden gem. I answered a message weeks ago from a girl I normally would've ignored, but we've been having ridiculous and constant sex for 2 weeks now. You never know.

I'm curious to know what ridiculous sex is. I imagine a clown suit involved, but I'm not too sure.

Yeah, it's not only online but dating in general that is pretty new to me. Prior to being married nearly everyone of my adult relationships developed out of drunken hook-ups. Add in that I don't drink now and the whole thing is a new experience. In a way I kinda feel bad for the girls who go out with me - now and in the future - as they're pretty much being used as a laboratory for my dating experiments. If a hidden gem emerges from the steaming pile of learning through failure, all the better.

I almost followed this advice yesterday when I messaged a girl and she replied relatively fast (~4 hours) but without a follow up question. I decided to still try to talk to her and although her responses were kind of brief, I ended up getting a date with her this week.

So I guess sometimes it does work, it just takes a little persistence.

Rusty trombone, nigaflip.com(2 g's nsfw)
Etc

Not sure if I want to keep seeing this girl. We'll see- she definitely wants to keep going out (and has started subtly hinting at being exclusive [we've gone out two more times since last time]), but I'm just not feeling it as much as I think I should. I also had my first ever case of being unable to perform. Probably had too many drinks or something. Has this been discussed before- is there general etiquette that you guys use if it happens to you? It was embarrassing as hell...

I hate being a dbag and leading people on, but I equally hate having to tell people I don't want to see them again. Urgh...this is why dating is so stressful.

We went out again last Wednesday night (at about 10:30, after my softball games). Went to a bar for a few drinks, then went back to my place for a little while before she went home. No sex, but I think I could tell that she was sort of right on the fence about it. We're planning on going out for dinner tomorrow night- hopefully I can pull this one through.

And just as I was all burned out with online dating, I decided to send out about 15 messages on match/okcupid. Guess it's sort of an addiction at this point?

Serial online dater itt. It's only as stressful as you make it

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dude, she was prob annoyed that you didn't offer to split the gas money for her drive to your place so of course she's gonna stick you with the pizza bill. DUH

no clown suits yet, but I'm certain she'd agree to it if I asked. she's pretty much down for whatever, whenever, wherever

Most of what you are describing as odd is completely standard. Yes, nobody calls anymore. I think it's pretty weird when girls want to talk on the phone before a first date. Did you actually ask her on your date why she didn't pick up??

Not responding to a text for 24 hours isn't strange, but it is a pretty good sign she isn't very interested. If a girl is interested, she will usually respond pretty quickly. But being "in constant contact" with someone before a first date (or even between a first and second date) seems odd to me.

It's happened to me twice, once when I was hammered, had been awake for about 22 hours, and went over to a girl's place I had just met who was not very attractive. The other time I was just coming off being very sick for a week and my FWB badgered me into meeting up with her, even though I wasn't really feeling it. Both times, I just explained the scenario (sick, too tired, too drunk, etc.), and made an effort to get them off a couple times via other means. I think that's about all you can really do. They're probably just as embarrassed and feeling like they aren't hot enough to turn you on.

How big an issue is having a crappy car?

In my experience, more often than not, she will think its her fault

I did, and she said no one makes phone calls anymore. That's fine with me as I'm not fond of talking on the phone with a quasi-unknown girl; it's just another opportunity to **** up imo.

To your second point, given that she went out on two dates with me I have to assume she was at least a little interested. Yet her text pattern, according to your "metrics", would indicate a lack of interest. Who knows? The other online women were extremely chatty through text; one expected a call before the date and another called me multiple times. So it's girl dependent obviously.

Its all girl dependant but if you're <30 texting is absolutely the norm, certainly in London. I would say if you called them they might find it a bit strange.

If you are older a phone call is more acceptable, but why would you when you can text?! Admittedly phoning someone does show a lot of confidence, but a lot of girls feel awkward about it, its bad when they don't answer, and you cant really **** up a text like you can a phone call. No brainer imo.

Also, taking 24 hours to respond to a text is supper standard, esp if you're making arrangements for a few days time...its always a good idea to reciprocate with texting back with similar time lags just so you don't seem the keen one.

I'd argue it may be >35 or >40. My uncle is 50, went on a date w 39 year old and she was all about text. It was discouraging to him

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Yeah you're probably right....>35 or so makes more sense

Okay, so I'm way out of my element here. A 7/8 wants to meet up immediately. Normally my dates have involved much more interaction before agreeing to meet. In her response to my opener she said she liked my profile and asked for other pictures. I responded two days later with this (there was more to it - i continued on, acting naive about the **** and kitty stuff - but this is the thrust of it)


Later in the day it escalated quickly.

WTF? If I can even make it on a day or two notice, I would be going into it thinking there's a really good shot at getting laid. And, assuming I'm in the right head space (lol, yeah right), pushing for it. Wrong impression? Just go with no expectations what so ever? Stall? It's stuff like this where I wish I could go do drinks.

Yeah, I don't know if I'd say a girl wanting to talk on the phone before hand is weird. Seems standard to me. I try to avoid it, but a bunch of the girls I've gone out with have specifically asked me to call them beforehand. I've over 30, though. Hell, I just finished an hour-long conversation with a girl I met online. We have not gone out yet, but we will.

First dates have gone better for me every single time I had a 5-10 minute phone conversation with the woman prior to the meeting. You get an idea of conversational flow, how you each speak differently than you message, and I definitely think it creates a strong attraction/attachment.

Big with insecure women, not so much with the confident ones.

this would be accurate if he had a standard job, but I wouldn't want to be a professional poker player and pull up in a beater, tough sell there.

I guess I just never seem to have a 5-10 minute conversation with a woman before a first date. When a girl wants to talk on the phone before meeting, it has always turned into an hour-long ordeal. I guess I'm just not good at ending these things quickly, but if a girl really insists on getting to know you by phone before meeting, how much is she learning in less than 10 minutes?

There have been times when this sort of pre-screening seemed appropriate (e.g. I had 3 hour-long phone conversations with the girl from Memphis before she flew out to see me). But if a girl insists on talking before she's even willing to meet up for a quick drink on a weeknight, I don't think that's a very good sign.

Actually, I should amend this and say I never have short phone conversations since I got back to online dating again last year. Back when I first started online dating (in 2009), phone calls to set up initial dates were much more standard.

For a lot of girls (especially those new to online dating) there are some concerns about meeting strangers online. The phone call makes them feel more confident that they're meeting the person they think they are, that you can actually hold a conversation, etc. It doesn't need to be a long call- after a few minutes just say you have to go but you'll see them at xyz