That's pretty good, congratulations.

I could lose weight easily in my 20-30s, just by exercising a little more for awhile and without changing my eating habits at all. Then after 40 that no longer worked. So I do have to dispute with some people who seem to think that exercise doesn't help one to lose weight at all, but maybe it is significantly less effective as you get older. It's certainly not just me who thinks it gets tougher as you age.

Honestly though, I haven't particularly tried to lose weight in over 10 years.
Yeah, I could stand to lose some, but when I go to the doctors, they don't really talk about it, as I know they do with other friends who are significantly heavier than I am. I'm just trying to get healthier and prevent spinal issues, and if I lose a bit of weight at the same time, then that's great.

Maybe I would be slightly more successful with the ladies if I lost weight as well, but I can't imagine that's a major thing holding me back, especially as my target market is women is average women who are more overweight than I am. If I'm really missing out on dating chubby women who only want to date fit guys, then screw them, they're not the kind of person I would want to be with long term anyway.

You don't need exercise to lose weight but it does help because it adds to your calorie burn part of the equation (obviously). I can show you images of people chained to a post that that weigh almost nothing (an extreme example of not needing to exercise to lose weight). It does get tougher when you get older because, in general, you become less active the older you get and because either your eating habits don't change or your eating habits change for the worse because you have more money to spend on food.

"It can also depend on whether you're using the right app and in the right city. In Montreal, France, Mexico I was attracting a solid amount of attractive women. Not models or anything, but I was happy. Then in Omaha I was using Tinder and I don't think I matched with 1 girl under 200 lbs. After that I gave Bumble a try and it was a lot better, but if my only experience had been with Tinder in Omaha then I would not have met any women and would have thought that apps are pointless."

Fossil, same issue. Dating is relatively easy while abroad. In the states I very seldom match with any women who isn't a grounded blimp.

I think it must be more than that. I'm more physically active now than I was in my 30s, I don't eat anymore than I did then, and I eat (slightly) healthier. Still have lost 10 pounds in the last year without really trying to, but when I was younger I'm sure it would have been much more if I had exercised as much as I do now. I think for me at least, it must be that exercising when I was younger really boosted my metabolism, and now it doesn't boost it nearly as much.

Rob, if it makes you feel any better I'm roughly the same height as you, 18 years younger, 55 pounds lighter and have clearly defined abs to accentuate a muscular physique.

Still can't get matches on tinder.

As you age, your metabolism slows down and you need fewer and fewer calories. Most people don't compensate for this, and so their weight starts increasing in their 30s and 40s.

Exercise is not as effective as calorie control for losing weight. That's because it makes you hungry, and many people compensate for this by eating more after they've worked out.

And people overestimate their activity and underestimate their calorie intake. Unless you meticulously track your calorie intake you have no clue how many calories you are putting in your body each day. Weight gain/loss is just thermodynamics in action.

Hey all need some advice on something. I met this chick on tinder and have been on 2 really solid dates with her so far. First was drinks and 2nd was dinner where she wouldnt even let me pay for her dinner which I think is insane from a female nowadays bc it’s rare. She’s going to be a doctor so kinda makes sense but both dates she invited me back to her place and we hooked up with everything but full blown sex basically.

She’s going away for a month to a big city for a class. How often should I text her to keep it going? We already agreed to meet up again when she comes back and I’m pretty sure she’s feeling me. Maybe text like 2 times a week to check up how she is doing? I’m really bad at texting chicks and I feel I should meet up
With other chicks when she is gone if I can (online dating is pretty bad where I’m at + I’m older (29). Thanks for any advice. I like this chick a lot as our dates have been great convo along with the fact she’s super mature and we have many similar interests/ hobbies. Most girls I meet up with flake after first date bc I can be semi awkard on first dates plus I prolly have semi low self esteem so I don’t always go about dates in best manner. With her we talked with no awkard pauses etc. thanks for any advice on how often to text lol (I’m pretty terrible with online dating/ dating in general).

Well, if you feel the need to date while she's gone, she ain't that special.

So text her every couple days or so, see if you can keep her interest, but if not, no big loss, right?

Lol jfc you can’t wait a month?

Arrgh!

Now I REALLY feel old!

no and theres no trace of her old email yahoo messenger ID. i often wonder if she gave me a fake name. her family wanted her to quit gambling, she got fed up with online poker where she used to spend 10 hours or so daily on pokerstars with the name formydad up in Portland with her family playing 4c8c stud8 in the old days. the site shutting down to the US had a lot to do with it, and she went dark online about 2010-2011 in the late 2000s she would talk to me on yahoo messenger for hours on end most days

Nah I like this girl a lot. The reason I say this is bc I find it very hard to date online. The odds of me getting say 1-3 dates is low bc I have high standards and don’t get many new matches lately. (In the month time span) I’m terrible generally at dating due to awkwardness so I feel I should always be dating when single to just stay sharp in social situations.

I feel girls flake so you should always keep your options open right? I feel not having options is terrible with dating lately but maybe I’m wrong? For example I went on a date a few years back and had a fire first date- kissed girl and we discussed what the 2nd date would be on our 1st date. Turns out she gets a bf within week of our date lol and she’s been dating him since.

I feel you always have to expect the unexpected to happen with dating. Good girls find guys much easier than guys finding girls. This chick easily could find a guy when she’s gone and could just ghost me. Just my thoughts on the dating scene today.

You should definitely be dating other girls while she’s gone for a month. It’ll help protect you from putting her on a pedestal when you’re not going to see her for a month. Also, you don’t really know that you’re going to see her in a month. You don’t fully know how she feels about you or what or who she’ll be doing that entire month. You haven’t even had sex with this woman. Also, you could meet an even better match or matches in that time as well.

I would say text very infrequently, like maybe 3x in a month and not how are you doing stuff, more like making a witty remark or showing her something fun, interesting, or exciting you’re doing so that she’ll be more excited or intrigued by you. Now if she starts texting you a lot, respond, but let her do more texting than you do. And then maybe something at the very end of her trip to set up a meeting when she gets back and her schedule is clearer.

Or you could totally stop your entire life, think nothing about her the whole time she’s gone, text her incessantly and worry about her meeting some other guy.

Whichever you think is a better play.

Youth is wasted on the young. I'm in my late 40s and have lost 30 lbs recently. It is harder, but not impossible.

I'd not worry that losing weight and improving your posture is going to have women who will only appreciate you for your looks chasing you around to the detriment of women who would have noticed your wit had you simply slouched a bit more or looked like your back hurt.

Research this before saying it.

Malucci's post was perfect and I don't have anything to add.

Pausing your dating life for a girl who's out of town and whom you haven't even had sex with yet sounds pretty unhealthy. What could possibly be the upside of that?

You need to reevaluate your profile.

I've been effective on Tinder and would say it comes down to 3 things:

- Be *reasonably* attractive (somewhat fit, average face, decent grooming/styling)
- Have a flattering but friendly and inviting profile
- Have "chat game" (comes naturally to some but not to everyone)

Look good
Good profile
Talk good

I think you just changed the game.

+1000 to avoiding “how’s your day/week/etc” msgs while she’s away.

Halloween memes can be your conversational life raft, if you feel you need them. They’re acceptable even at the ripe old age of 29. Plus any other inside jokes/gags you may have developed together during your two amazing dates. 3x/month is fine.

FYP

Disagree. Whatever is there is going to die in s month. Stole the fire just lightly

Yeah I was kinda thinking this also. I would just send her a message after a few days and then see how much she replies. You don't want to act like you totally forgot her, but don't sound like you're just waiting around for her to get back either.

Sure, I'll spruce it up. But I doubt it would have any discernable difference on my match rate. What I need is a change of scenery. I'm headed to Europe in the spring.

talked to a woman for about 20 messages on pof the other night, went well. the very next day i sent a normal, how are ya doing message and got no response, lol. no clue what im doing. i was a womanizer on aol and myspace back in the day, but nowadays that im fatter and uglier, i have no chance.