I've only used this tactic/strategy or whatever you wanna call it on girls that agreed to go out with me then stopped responding when I asked them for their phone number. It happened to me 4 times in a row on tinder in Austin before i started using hinge after making my first post in this thread ~2 months ago.

It did rattle me enough at the time to have 4 or so girls agree to go out with me and then not respond when I asked the for their number that I did some googling of my own and came across a great post that at least helped me in the feedback department. I ended up finding this link: https://www.tinderseduction.com/send...nge-your-life/ and I copy pasted the message they told me to send. I use original messages for my openers but I used that on the girls that stopped talking to me and 3/4 gave me long, detailed responses which were very helpful. I think the article goes into enough detail that I don't need to expand on anything and I haven't tried asking girls for feedback that I met in person but will try to somehow deploy that strategy if I need to and report back to you guys. I tried searching my phone for screenshots to show you guys but came up short .

As far as updates go, I found a an online meet up tonight from meetup.com that had over 80 people confirmed to meet at a bar and be social etc., The guy to girl ratio was probably 4 to 1 but there were def some cute girls there. I asked one girl for her number that just moved to Austin 5 days ago and she shut me down which stung a bit. I ended up meeting a very cute girl from where I'm from and we spent a good most of the night with each other which included quite a bit of making out. Around 12:45 I told her I was tired and asked her to come home with me and she turned me down. I'm hoping to see her again this week but it at least feels good to take some attention for myself off the chick I've been obsessed with that got back with her ex and move forward.

Apologies if my post makes no sense and I'm too drunk for 2p2. ya'll can ban me.

Thank you so much for this response, it definitely helped me gain some perspective.

And yes, I can't believe how hard dating is. i was lucky enough to grow up in a pretty cool area with a decent enough social circle that I didn't have to worry much about playing the dating game for most of my life. Man is it tough and I sure have learned a lot about myself and women in these past two weeks. My respect for women is increasing more and more each day.

Decent article, but instead of using the line he recommends for when a girl stops talking to you, use this instead (TM lazer. )

Well, I can only assume one of two things happened. Either you're on Leo's yacht somewhere or I got buried beneath a pile of dudes doing the duck face in the mirror. One of those things I can do something about. The other, well, I don't blame you

Is it worth it to pay for Hinge?

I don't even think the free version is worth the price... the app doesn't work properly for me.

Over a small sample it's working really well for me. At least as compared to Bumble.

I've only matched with one person, and I know she didn't get all of my messages, and I didn't get all of hers. I only managed to meet her because her profile showed her full name and I found her on facebook.

So I made plans with that girl I met in person the other night for 6pm, she comes back later with 8, then immediately 8:30. No problem. As I’m on the way to to venue, I get this message “I just had the worse allergic reaction to something but I’m still going to show up ! Just a heads up my face looks like I have leprosy”

If this was an online app meeting there is 0% chance she shows up. But she did, and a good time was had by all. Also, I wouldn’t have ever even noticed the allergic reaction on my own.

If they really like you, they'll show up. Definitely had a few dates where the girl had or was getting over a bad cold/flu and still made it out/had drinks, etc.

I am at potentially peak life EV as we speak, as a slight favorite for a strong irl crush who I will ask out as soon as I can get a halfway decent shot off.

(EV could easily crash immediately of course, which is why this might be the peak.)

I love the optimism Baltimore lol

Okcupid is trash now. Can no longer see when someone was last online. If you message someone, they disappear from your bookmarks (w/o telling you that's the policy, which any reasonable person would assume means you got blocked by the message recipient or the equivalent of swiped left...wrong, it's an auto disappear). Searches hide lots of profiles for unknown reasons and are heavy on showing you who the site wants to show you and not the entire pool of users meeting general search criteria. I love so many things about the site, but I hate the black box and tinder-like direction it continues to go in.

On the other hand, I like bumble, but so far have yet to receive a message despite a decent amount of mutual likes. I haven't used daily extend yet. Does anyone think women are frequently waiting to message until the dude uses an extend, or are they just swiping right and then not messaging for some other reason?

No reason I can think of not to use extend, I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't log in every day.

I'm back into the online dating world and have decided I'm looking for something more serious than I was in the past. Anyhoo, first date was last night. It was less than great.

We were talking about Cuba (I'm hoping to visit there in Spring) and he mentioned that he checked out the drag queen bars while he was there. I mentioned that I know a Cuban drag queen in SF. He asks me her name, I tell him, and he tells me he knows her as well. This is not a good sign, since our mutual acquaintance works in a bar full of sex workers. Date goes downhill from there. He wasn't really interested in knowing anything about me, until we started talking about my transition, and at that point he perked up and had a ton of questions. I ended up feeling pretty fetishized.

Oh well, onwards. I have another date tomorrow night with a Cuban guy. I seem to be on a Cuban trip at the moment for some reason.

I extended on my girl at hour 23. She messaged the next day.

I think many women look for the extend, assuming many guys are just swipe happy and don't care.

An extend shows the women you have real interest.

Why is it worse that your date knows a possibly unsavory character than that you know the same person?

She's not an unsavory character at all - she's pretty awesome. I know her because trans women like to hang out with other trans women. My guess is that he knows her because he's a john. I could be wrong and maybe he's socializing with her outside of where she works, but that seems pretty unlikely to me. Couple that with his general lack of interest in me as a person, I was not feeling it.

And maybe he thinks you know her because you're a prostitute, so that's why he's not showing much interest. That would be jumping to the equivalent conclusion you did.

Seems to me like you want the kind of guy who is not normally interested in the kind of person you are, which IMO is pretty hypocritical.

Of course I have a friend who is the same. He's a black guy who likes white women, but only the kind who don't usually date black guys. I think he's hypocritical too, and he would have lots of trouble dating if he weren't 6 foot 6 and good looking and intelligent so he has lots of prospects to choose from. I can't afford to limit my dating to women who don't normally date middle aged mediocre looking poker players.

Great posting. On first point yep, many women have expressed appreciation and been impressed with something as simple as quickly setting up specifics.

Can I ask for feedback from somebody I went on a few dates with 2 years ago and am still mildly friendly with on IG/FB? Can I do it with the selfie one from last year?

I honestly wouldn't know, my sample size is six with four responses.

I don't see why it wouldn't hurt to try. If you ask the right way and catch them in the right mood/moment you may get some sort of constructive response that's useful to you.

Yes, yes it does.

The prodigal son has returned!

I was worried you got murdered...

I'm still alive!

Nothing too interesting to report really. It's now been 3 months with the yoga instructor and still going well. We usually spend a night or 2 together each weekend and sometimes an evening during the week. We've been on 3 trips together and are planning a bit longer one in August where we'll be together 5 days.

My girlfriend got a researcher job at a university here that she thought she only had about a 10% chance at, so she's super excited. And I continue to be enamored with Mexico and am surprised that these places exist and are so convenient/cheap from the USA and yet not many people even know about them. Even some of the smaller towns are really amazing. They have a tourist program called "Pueblos Mágicos" (Magic Towns), and I've seen a few of them and been really impressed so now I'm obsessed with seeing all of them!

Re: safety, I have yet to feel unsafe or unwelcomed in any of the dozen or so cities I've visited. Either I've run very well, or I really think most of the violence that is reported happens in narco areas and you just need to be informed on the danger areas and avoid them. Yes, poverty is more prevalent than in USA or Europe, but safety wise it feels no different. The people are also very warm and welcoming, especially to a foreigner with a mediocre grasp of the local language. So for now I'm very happy with my partner and my city. The luster hasn't worn off after 4 months in CDMX and I'm planning to find a new place for a year or 2 once my 6-month AirBNB rental ends in November.

I mean, it wasn't the whole issue, just a bit of a red flag. I don't discriminate against guys who've seen trans sex workers, since that's often their journey (trans porn --> trans sex worker --> trans gf).

I can see where your friend is coming from though. He's trying to avoid the people who fetishize him. If a woman exclusively dated black guys, he is probably concerned that she is dating him because he is black, rather than dating him for who he is as a person.

There's a lot of guys that just want to text indefinitely, doing the whole flirting thing back and forth, and eventually trying to get you to sext, but never actually meeting. My guess is they are in a committed relationship and are getting their thrills this way. So cutting to the chase quickly and arranging a first meeting is very much appreciated.