^^Thanks, makes sense, like w/ OKC I won't be taking the bait. So far no convos (match queue has "1" but doesn't show anyone) but I'm at least happy after my miserable OKC browsing experience that there exist attractive single women in their low to mid thirties in my city.

you needed an app to realize this? here's an idea... go outside and strike up conversations with women you want to meet/date. a novel idea i know.

Was swiping on Tinder today and they offered a Super Boost for $59.99 . Couldn't find any info about it so must be a new feature they're pushing, but what a price.

Eh. Doing it online is probably way more efficient.

apparently not.

Met a super cute chick in person last night and it’s just so much more satisfying to do that than it is to waste so much time on these stupid apps. It’s also really nice to know that she’s going to look how she looks and I don’t have to worry about how stealthy of a photographer she is when meeting her the next time. I highly recommend it fellas.

Much better than my escapade last week.

Chatted up a nice enough woman who was out with her friends but she was obviously out of sorts.

She had half her face bandaged up from a skin cancer operation, and was worried her medical bills were going to take her income.

I relayed some information that i believe would help her, and asked her if she would like to get dinner sometime, mainly cause I felt bad for her situation.

At that point a drunk biker looking fellow comes up and started talking to her.

She immediately ignores me and hangs on his every word.

So I dipped out and rejoined my friends at the other side of the bar.

I should look at it as dodging a bullet but i can't help but think i got rejected by a broke,middle aged, disfigured woman.

I don't understand asking someone you just met to dinner because you felt bad for them. Why not just give her some money instead of pretending to be interested in her?

I was interested in her, not to the point of smitten, just enough to be enticed plus like i said i wanted to help give her guidance in her insurance problems. Definitely not just a pity date.

I don't think you are correct. You *should* think of it as having lost a broke middle-aged disfigured woman to a drunk biker-looking dude in front of your friends. That is more accurate

You *should* also place almost no weight on it. Some women like biker dudes. If this losing-to-a-drunken-biker-looking-dude thing becomes a regular occurrence, then maybe consider a makeover?

You *should* also be happy that you chatted up a woman and that you were trying to be nice.

Yeah i have great friends, they gave me **** about it

I mean who do i think i am starting with a whole woman?I need to start with one missing a few parts and work my way up.

Lol. You've got the same damsel-in-distress homing beacon that I have?

I used to be known as General Save a ho, I'd worked my way up from captain.

Now I'm smart enough to spot it and weigh the pros and cons, at least.


For some reason I've always attracted married or attached women when I was young and single.

Still do to some extent, but I'm not willing to go down that road so easily anymore.

I have no idea what gives me that "vibe" but its happened too many times to just be coincidental

First Tinder date back in the game post-breakup this Sunday. Girl says her friend is out of town so we should drink wine in her apartment building's courtyard.

Plot twist, the friend lives in my building.

Seems pretty fortunate, assuming she doesn't flake (and I don't make day 2 of the poker tournament I'm playing tomorrow, which will force me to flake).

Are you in London at this point?

Nah, I'm still in the Bay Area. My work visa got delayed and I'm now looking at being in London from late September to late March.

Thanks a lot for the earlier London bar recs, by the way, really appreciate that and will make those my first spots for Tinder dates.

Hey ya'll! I moved to a new city recently just began taking the plunge into online dating. per recommendations in this thread I decided to use hinge. I like hinge a lot because you see who likes you without having to swipe and the girls on there seem to be serious about meeting up. Thanks 2p2

I went on a few dates with a girl the past month week and we were both having a great time with each other. This week she ended up telling me that she got back with her ex. I normally don't get hung up on chicks too easily and can deal with rejection but I can't stop thinking about her. Just wondering if anyone has been there and made things workout down the line (assuming of course she gets over or breaks up with her ex). I'm trying to meet other girls so I can move on from this but I still wanna pull some sort of hail mary to try and at least see her again. My current plan is to message her in a couple months but would appreciate any and all advice.

-

I know there are a lot of posters in this thread way more knowledge and experienced in this department but I also see a lot of toxic advice and people with bad mindsets. I think I should at least attempt to contribute and share what I've learned from trying to take online dating seriously the past two months or so instead of just posting questions every now and then.

- Don't be afraid to message someone more than once that hasn't responded to your initial message. A few of the girls I went out with or at least got numbers from didn't respond to my initial message. Some of them I messaged a few days later and some weeks later but the persistence can pay off.

- Be quick to make plans for a date and be specific about when and where.

- If a someone obviously loses interest in you try reaching out to them for feedback. Almost every girl I did this to gave me very detailed messages which i found useful.

No problem man. I went to SF a few years ago, very nice city.

Let me know when you arrive maybe we can have a beer and play some poker in leicester sq.

Welcome! Great first post

Messaging her in a few months is fine, but only if you can trust yourself not to overly focus on that and not let it mess up your mindset in the meantime ("I had a pretty good time on that date last night, but I like this old girl better and I'm messaging her in a few weeks, so I'm not gonna ask out the girl from last night again"). Getting back with an ex is a pretty big, messy move and I think anything you do with this girl is gonna be a low percentage play.

A similar thing happened to me a few years back where I went on two dates with a girl, had long, deep conversations, she was an amazing kisser, etc. I was smitten, she wasn't and more or less ghosted me. The way I got over it was simply by playing the volume game, going on 2-3 new first dates a week. Dating is tough, yo. The best way to eventually have success is to tip the odds in your favor by seeing all that's out there for you.

Thank you for this. In general I notice a lot of the good posters here are more persistent than I am, it's something I want to work on.

Bingo. Sooo important.

Very interesting, I'd never considered this. Can you give some specific case studies?

Will do! I watched the super bowl in that casino a few years back, fun spot.

Empire or Hippodrome?

I used to play in the Empire but I just don't have much time these days. Never played in the Hippo but it's a better venue obv.

Empire. I don't think I even played poker there, they just had the Carlsberg sports bar where I could drink crappy beer and watch American sports

I'm not saying people shouldn't ask for feedback, but IME the advice I get back when I ask isn't much use and is nearly always along the lines of 'I just didn't feel that long term connection'.

I would expect the majority of responses would just say it's something intangible. 'something not quite there' with the romantic bond that the girl can't put her finger on and almost pointless to try and delve into. The next most popular reason for me is probably 'not enough in common'.

If I imagine all the girls I've dumped I would probably say the same thing to them rather than there being specific, tangible reasons, but that might be just me. If I get to multiple dates with someone, I won't have a problem with how she looks or even how she acts, I just won't see a long term future.

Agree totally, I wouldn't expect to get much actionable feedback here, eager to hear what dylance has heard from girls.

So this girl has been texting me all weekend. We talked for a while last night while she was at the Giants game (I think she was drunk), then she texted me two separate times today to see how my poker tournament was going. WTF? For someone whos firmly in the camp of minimizing contact until you can meet someone in person and really get to know them, this is kind of off-putting.

Couple possibilities:

*She's likely a clinger -- anything in particular I should do tomorrow to manage expectations and steer things in a healthy direction?

*Or maybe this is just a generational gap (she's 22. Do people this age just live their lives over text?)

*Finally, I've been out of practice for years, maybe this is normal and just a different style than mine?