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Originally Posted by dylance
Hey ya'll! I moved to a new city recently just began taking the plunge into online dating.
Welcome! Great first post
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Iwent on a few dates with a girl the past month week and we were both having a great time with each other. This week she ended up telling me that she got back with her ex. I normally don't get hung up on chicks too easily and can deal with rejection but I can't stop thinking about her. Just wondering if anyone has been there and made things workout down the line (assuming of course she gets over or breaks up with her ex). I'm trying to meet other girls so I can move on from this but I still wanna pull some sort of hail mary to try and at least see her again. My current plan is to message her in a couple months but would appreciate any and all advice.
Messaging her in a few months is fine, but only if you can trust yourself not to overly focus on that and not let it mess up your mindset in the meantime ("I had a pretty good time on that date last night, but I like this old girl better and I'm messaging her in a few weeks, so I'm not gonna ask out the girl from last night again"). Getting back with an ex is a pretty big, messy move and I think anything you do with this girl is gonna be a low percentage play.
A similar thing happened to me a few years back where I went on two dates with a girl, had long, deep conversations, she was an amazing kisser, etc. I was smitten, she wasn't and more or less ghosted me. The way I got over it was simply by playing the volume game, going on 2-3 new first dates a week. Dating is tough, yo. The best way to eventually have success is to tip the odds in your favor by seeing all that's out there for you.
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Don't be afraid to message someone more than once that hasn't responded to your initial message. A few of the girls I went out with or at least got numbers from didn't respond to my initial message. Some of them I messaged a few days later and some weeks later but the persistence can pay off.
Thank you for this. In general I notice a lot of the good posters here are more persistent than I am, it's something I want to work on.
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-Be quick to make plans for a date and be specific about when and where.
Bingo. Sooo important.
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- If a someone obviously loses interest in you try reaching out to them for feedback. Almost every girl I did this to gave me very detailed messages which i found useful.
Very interesting, I'd never considered this. Can you give some specific case studies?