Wouldn't it be weird if wax was the Tyler Durden to Fossil?

And fossil hasn't found out yet?

The timing is seriously weird. He didn't yell at you while the rest of us were cringing* at your apparent fear of potentially getting attached (or going rogue and independently discovering serial monogamy).

Not replying to the specific post, but I'm pretty sure that an easy compromise between cosmopolitan and rural can be had.

This is the only explanation that makes any sense.

*literally everyone was yelling at you in kind and not-so-kind voices.

Burbs do exist.....

Douches gonna douche

Yea, hard to go wrong dating in London, there is the gigantic amount of choice you would expect from a huge city but the usual flipside is that the girls have those choices too.

I live in London but i'm originally from the north of England, near Manchester. I personally find northern english girls who moved to london preferable to southerners, but that might be because i've found they tend to have a soft spot for guys from back home too. Hard to make blankets statements about what English girls think of Americans but US folks will probably do fine and I would say you'd have an edge over natives with certain types of girl.

There are also a ton of Irish girls living in London which I like, I also seem to do well with Scottish girls for some reason, and can pull a higher quality of woman if she's Scottish compared to if she's English.

This was fun

Nice, what made you take that approach?

Fingers crossed on no flake for tomorrow night, I'd put her in the 95 percentile for dates I'm looking forward to. This was a case where I think I had Super Liked her in the past (perhaps she had a different profile or w/e), and had "chosen" her on at least one other site - so at least 2 times I'd used a rare item (which I may even have had to pay for) on her and no match. This time I figured I could take the hint, but said nahhh whatever let's just Super Like again.

So my confidence is down because of the prior attempts, though it's highly possible (probable) she never even saw those and/or does not remember. I have added new pictures which are not objectively good pictures imo, but are slightly newer and more accurate I guess, andddd perhaps crucially for some Indian women, I look paler?

Anyway I'll do my "10 hour flake check!! I'm still in, you?" text in the morning, but am really sweating this. Feel free to stalk in person tomorrow night, I'm sure you can find me from recent posts if you're in the area!

Don't. Or at least don't phrase it like that.

I think I always do that (or something like it) on the day of or night before if the plans were made several days prior, and that it should be done. "Still on for tonight?" or something direct sounds too serious and pathetically hopeful.

Calling the potential directly out as a flake and making light of it, I hypothesize, makes it more likely for her to go through with the date if she actually was on the fence. You've called it out as something socially dubious, have shown yourself to be experienced and "funny", and have broken some tension if she was nervous. If she was all in already of course you've lost nothing.

What's your counter-argument and plan? I'm obviously not just showing up that night at the place w/o confirmation, and perhaps more importantly I don't want her to think I might skip out on her.

I don't think I've had flakes since I started taking this slightly more attentive approach. With one woman a few years ago we even made a joke of it with daily check-in texts beforehand. (Of course, you could argue this hurts you overall even if the first date does happen.)

If she flakes, she flakes.

Usually after I'd set a date up I'm trying to keep the flow of the conversation going. I don't think there is anything wrong with being straightforward with a "are we still good for tonight?" You don't have to try to be "funny" with every message, I can imagine it would soon get annoying.

Just really bored with the standard lines. This way at least I get to enjoy myself/be a bit creative and I figure its easy to see if the other person is boring based on their replies. And it's hard to fail

+1 that line gives off a strange vibe. It suggests either you get flaked on a lot or that you have little respect for them.

I don't understand how the simple "still on for tonight" line sounds pathetically hopeful to you, but a line in which you tell her you're counting down the hours to the date is going to come off as super cool and easygoing.

I try to book most of my dates either a 15-20 min walk from my apt (probably 10-15 bars/restaurants to choose from), or close in proximity to something interesting in case she flakes last-minute (movies, theatre, a nice park, etc.)

Definitely fortunate to live in a city with things to do, though

Awesome. Thanks!

When I use the line "My friend told me about (Bar X) and I've been meaning to check it out, want to meet for a drink there wendesday night?", what are some good candidates for Bar X?

I dunno where I'm living yet, but I'll be in corporate housing and our office is next to Paddington Station, so probably around there?

Ibavly, on the Hinge exchange, were you the adventure author or the player?

Btw, I recently joined Hinge and am having trouble with it. I commented on someone's photo and got a reply back, an email notified me and showed me her response. But then when I logged onto the app it just said she invited me to a chat, but didn't show her response I got via email. I wrote back again, but still nothing at all shows up from her, and I haven't heard back yet, which really surprises me in this case. I wonder if I'm just not getting her replies.

I'm the author. The day a girl puts that much effort into an online dating conversation...

Cool beans. Did you have it all planned out before, or made it up on the fly after getting each answer?

I stole the concept and the punchline from Reddit, the rest is on the fly

Important scenario to debate in bottom two paragraphs!!

It's not cool and easygoing, it's acknowledging that online dating is flaky in a[n arguably] humorous way.

I don't do that; in this case I was concerned if anything that there hadn't been enough humor and we'd had a dry back-and-forth.

Anyway, I still went ahead with it essentially as I wrote, adding "they're texting me to 'confirm my reservation'" to it so there's more of a surface-level reason to do the flake check. She responded with "haha yep, still in!" etc.

Went well, we wound up having 5 (!) cocktails and she said I was way cuter that my pictures (this is true) etc. I proposed a spontaneous Vegas weekend which very well may have wound up happening if she didn't have a work function. She came back to "see my roof" and eventually left without us going all the way.

Today she drunk-texted me after the work thing wanting me to come over, which I wasn't that interested in doing since I was sober (I didn't). I'll probably see her again, but drunk-texting is off-putting.

Scenario came up where a medium-sized group came in next to us (had previously been quiet) and were being a little obnoxious taking their seats. One guy wound up bumping our table and splashing my drink all over me (not a significant loss of drink, won't stain, but sticky and embarrassing). I was annoyed, guy apologized and offered a drink but I said no no don't worry about it. He ordered me one secretly so when it came I put my hand on his shoulder (he was essentially next to me in half-booth seating), shook his hand, brief friendly chat. We wound up talking to the group a bit more later, I made a joke about spilling his when I got up for the bathroom, etc.

So this turns out fine and makes everyone look good, but my initial reaction was definitely bad. The question is, how do you react to that situation in the moment (and what would Clooney do)? Do you make some joke like "hey man if I wanted to take a shower with you, I would have...!"? And what if the drink spilled on your date instead of you? What if the dude wants to be a punk about it, unlike this guy?

I'm out of practice (soon to get back in it though!) but how about the following:

Asking for the date a few days before: "how about drinks on Thursday night at Toronado?*" Don't specify a time yet.

Wednesday night: "hey, looking forward to seeing you at Toronado tomorrow night! Let's plan to meet at 7:30?"

That way you get a confirmation that she's still down 24 hours in advance, and nothing awkward about the interaction.



*This is tongue in cheek. Don't take girls to Toronado on your first date.

I think it was CCuster who mentioned that a friend of his would intentionally text to change the time by 30 minutes on the day of the date to be able to confirm without seeming desperate.

I think you handled it fine if no one stayed pissed afterwards.

And you handle it gracefully if truly an accident and if the guy is a jerk, its usually better to involve security rather than out "man" each other.

Drunken booty calls used to be one of the best things, now it seems everyone is scared of sexual harassment.

Baltimore,

Why was your initial reaction bad? Were you acting sorta pissy or something?

Yea too annoyed/mad at first.