I like the back and forth between him and virgin trying to manipulate each other.

Please highlight one instance where I tried to manipulate her. She's trying to manipulate me, but it obviously won't work b/c she can't offer anything that I couldn't do without.

I'm completely fine just hanging out with her in a completely platonic sense b/c I like her company. If she wants to initiate kissing, I'm fine with that as well b/c she kisses well and I enjoy it. She asked to go back to my apartment, into my bed, etc. I didn't try to manipulate her into doing anything that she didn't bring up herself.

If I was an ******* I could have fabricated lies by now to get further with her, but I've always been up front with her about our relationship status and what I'm doing with other girls.

The 15 days thing could have something to do with her knowing you are still active on tinder combined with her being a virgin.

I had my second date with the married guy yesterday. It was good. I got the deets on his previous trans gf. He was seeing her for over a year before it ran its course. So it seems like he's not just looking for a quick hookup, but something a bit more meaningful. And he's very 'woke' about trans women, which is all good. I got a little insecure because he told me that she transitioned in her teens - that's a big difference compared to transitioning in your 40s - but he seems to dig me.

He was a bit agitated when he first arrived because he had just bumped into someone he knows, so when he sat down he told me what our cover story was if we bumped into anyone else he knows. This kinda thing could prove a drag. He drove me back to my car, and we kissed. It wasn't great (my fault), but I was worried it was risky doing that in public, plus it was right outside my work, so I was a bit skittish for that reason too. Anyway, we're already making plans for the third date, so it can't have been that bad.

Fossilkid - your contributions to this thread are A+++

pokerjo - sorry you have to deal with that kind of crap. Your actions and openness will make life easier for the next generation of trans women, if that is of any consolation.

Take the lessons with her. The only potential downside is you have to quit if you magically find the girl of your dreams in the next month or two AND dream girl is somehow not OK with you completing your current class.

Poker,

Cover story because you’re trans or because he’s married?

I'm seeing her this Saturday, and we haven't really gotten that physical yet, but it's basically 100% chance we make out, so I'll see how I feel about her after the date. I'm leaning towards just doing the dance lessons. Should be a fun experience and she hasn't exhibited any signs of being the super clingy/jealous type that could cause problems down the road.

Tell me if I'm out of line or not with the following:

On Sunday I made plans with the 24-year old to go to a yoga class this evening at 7PM. We talked for a bit on Sunday, but nothing since then. Yesterday, around 5 PM I sent a text to check in on her and firm up plans for today. She didn't get back to me at all. I checked OKC, and she had logged in there so it isn't like she was without phone/internet.

Instead I messaged the 35-year old yoga teacher to she if she'd be free b/c I really want to see her for a 2nd date and the rest of my weekend is booked and tonight was probably the only opportunity. So I messaged the 24-year old and canceled b/c I don't want to have her flake last minute and then be left with no options b/c it's too late. I feel like if she was that interested in our plans, then a "hey I'm doing great! Yah, I'm still in for tomorrow" isn't too much to ask.

Am I out of line for canceling day of in this spot, or completely standard?

Thanks, it's been a fun experience dating a lot of Latinas, and writing down my thoughts can help me step back a bit and get a clearer perspective. And of course the advice is also helpful. Glad that people are finding it entertaining too.

chopstick - thanks, I hope so

El D - for him being married. Getting the 'how do you guys know one another" story straight.

Cancelling seems fine if you gave her a little time.

Also sorry about the manipulate comment. Meant more like battle of wills or something I think.

Haha yah, I agree. It's interesting to see her take on sex slowly evolve, but also a bit sad that some people have it drilled into their heads that casual sex is a bad thing, and as a result they miss out on so much.

I think she trusts me and knows I'll never take advantage or make her uncomfortable, and she's slowly figuring out ways to justify further experimentation in her head. I just worry that the next guy won't be so understanding with her.

The idea that a married man is seeking something meaningful with his mistress is almost always pure fantasy.

Agree that Fossil's unique story is fun to read.

Pokerjo is looking for anything meaningful. She's simply having a good time and she's fully aware that she's the mistress. And she's OK with that as long as the wife isn't transgender.

(Pokerjo, please correct me if I misunderstood your previous posts.)

Yeah, that's pretty much it. More serious than a hook-up, but no commitment. And in the meantime, if the chance for a more meaningful relationship comes my way with someone who's not married, I'd take it.

Weird, the 24-year old just completely ghosted. Kinda odd b/c we had some solid pre-first date banter going and she even proposed the date idea. Guess maybe she found another guy and didn't have the courage to call off the date. Oh well, glad I saw it coming and planned a 2nd date with the yoga instructor instead.

You live a very charmed online dating life if you think getting ghosted after everything prior seemed to be going great is weird. Happens to me more than it doesn't.

Not was I meant.
You can tell her you'll be her sole **** buddy.
She wont be your only one.

Hoping the language barrier will trick her?

What?
No. I'm saying tell her exactly what he wants out of the situation, and if she's ok with it, then great. If not, drop her.
He has way too many solid options to play games with some wishy washy 30+ year old claiming to be a virgin.

I don't know why else you would "offer" her something that she can give herself. He has no control over who else she gets with. She clearly wants him not to be with others.

I've been ghosted on, but usually I had a decent idea that it would happen beforehand.

Her whole thing is that she wants to be the only one I'm getting physical with. Obviously not gonna happen.

I just hang out with the girl b/c I enjoy her company not b/c I'm trying to get some type of FWB deal or relationship going with her. She initiates all the physicality on her own.

The 24-year old actually did get back to me, 2 hours after the date was supposed to take place. Something about complications with an injury to her nose (she did mention this earlier) + another falling out with her Mom (today is Mother's Day in Mexico). Probably too many red flags to consider her for anything serious. She did list herself as "non-monogamous" on OKC, so maybe FWB potential? Pretty ****ty not to have just fired off a quick "I need to cancel" text.


Anyway, I'm really glad she flaked and I got to set up a 2nd date with the yoga instructor. We met at 7:30, had a quick tea, then walked to a park and made out for 3 hours, then walked back and went on our separate ways. Might sound a bit lame to some, but she's an incredible kisser and I really enjoyed it. Also found out she speaks French! The only thing sexier than her English accent is her French one. Also fun to flirt in 3 languages. She has the sexiest facial expressions I've ever seen. Also wore a low cut top that looked great. She dressed more casual date 1, but clearly was trying to impress me here.

I knew sex would be off the table b/c I went to her area, and she lives with 2 roommates so we couldn't go back to her place. Maybe of date 3, but I'm in it for the long haul with her, so no biggie if I have to wait a bit.

Knowing myself, it will be tough not to get tunnel vision even though it's only been 2 dates. She ticks all the boxes, only slight negatives are her age (1 year older than me, not a huge deal) and the fact that she lives about a 25-35 minute drive away.

I've got a 1st date tomorrow and 3rd date with Coyoacán girl on Saturday, so I guess it should help keep my mind off the yoga instructor for a little while.

Tinder was kinda slow the first few days, but blew up today and seems like there are some quality matches in there. I'm not sure if I even care to go on any more 1st dates though after this weekend. Maybe I'll just see how it plays out with yoga instructor and Coyoacán girl and then focus on Spanish classes, going to yoga, salsa lessons, and poker.

Dang fossil do you even work or is this dating thing a full time thing? I’m loving the updates by the way.

Did you hit up the yoga instructor the very same day? I always try and set dates up at least 48 hours in advance but maybe I’m doing it wrong.

It's common and I don't mind admitting that it happens to me on occasion.

The condom thing has always been an issue for me, I absolutely hate them and I often struggle to stay hard with one on.

But I also am a strong believer that if you find a girl you really connect with emotionally the sex will be better and you will be more aroused when it matters.

I played tennis followed by no strings attached sex last weekend with a girl I had screwed before. she's really cute with a very nice body, but she's a little socially awkward and the emotional connection isn't quite there so I couldn't really maintain or finish.

Whereas on Bumble I saw a girl who scored less in looks but appeared really confident and together , and even just looking at her I knew I would be more aroused than with the other one.

I'm starting to appreciate the connection more I think rather than just placing looks first, which I always used to do. I was hoping this change would happen.

I mean we’ve all had it where the hottest girl you’ve been with doesn’t necessarily mean the best sex, right? I certainly have. Connection and chemistry is such a huge factor.