God I hate Bumble.

As discussed before, they clearly put the highest-rated people at the top of the stack. Seems short-sighted. Get people all excited about the hot people on the app, but most of us will rarely or never match with them. Or, even more frustratingly, those types are not my type and so I have to go through 50 women with 6-packs (wtf is wrong with you people) before I get to ones I like AND who I'd have any shot with.

Seems like a recipe to lose everyone except the hottest people in the long run. Should be either completely random or matching to your calculated attractiveness and/or likely mutual matches.

I hate Happn as well now, not because of the UI change (this may turn out to be better), but because of the multiple push notifications per day with nonsense like the stupid game show thing, that you can't turn off without turning them all off.

Older I get the more I realize how many people are likely in lifelong relationships mostly because breaking up is hard to do.

Need the details.

Re: Bumble, Happn, and Tinder

I don't even have Bumble and Tinder on my phone. I just installed them on my computer so swiping is a breeze and typing messages is much faster. Bumble seems good b/c a girl not only has to match, but then message, so you at least know she's a bit more invested. Kinda frustrating when you match with a hot girl who doesn't message. I just instaswipe right on everyone on both apps then filter once the matches come in.

An odd thing I noticed here, that seems different from when I was swiping in Omaha is that I rarely get matches from the bottom of the barrel. Most of my matches are at least somewhat cute and never obese, whereas in Omaha these girls would match with me often.

For Happn, I have it installed on my phone just so that it can pick up new girls nearby. You could also install it on your computer there to do most of the liking and messaging and just turn off notifications on your phone. It's not as possible here in CDMX, so I find it manageable, plus I don't get any extraneous notifications for some reason. Also, even though it's not that popular here, the quality of matches has been super high.

See any connection between these two statements?

Interested to know if anyone in here has actually matched with any of those girls who show up in the 'top of the stack' brigade. i'm assuming around 90 per cent of them aren't even using the app any more.

No. I'd swipe right on hot girls even if I was being selective.

I guess you could be implying that she uses a similar strategy where she swipes and then reevaluates later, which is probably the case. Either she already has her hands full and ignored me or took a closer look at my profile and I didn't make the cut.

It's Mexico City, so it's a different game, but I've had some matches with fringe top 10%ers that surprised me. Never had a match with the models that have 1k+ instragram photos (and are probably just fishing for more followers rather than dates anyway), but the tier just below I have occasional success here (but never in France, USA, etc.)

Yeah this is basically what I meant.

I really just think it's not that nice to use the swipe right on everyone method, it will lead to disappointment or frustration for someone. Doesn't seem like it would really save time in the long run anyway as you then have to take the time to reevaluate later.

Mexico City has like 100-150 new girls a day. It takes 30 seconds to instaswipe (instaclick on my computer which is even faster) through them all. Then I get 5-10 matches, and take maybe 30 more seconds to either ignore or fire off a message. The whole decision process takes like a minute total. Going through all those profiles and then deciding would take at least 10x as long.

The whole online dating process is so damn easy for women that I don't feel bad taking this one shortcut. I think most people realize anyway that matches don't mean much until you at least convert it into 1 reply.

I used to read okc profiles for entertainment. When it was better and more popular a few years ago. I hated tinder. Even on it I'd dig into all the profile pictures. Does anyone do that? Or just swipe on the main?

No it's just different. Girls, especially ones that men are highly interested, have to sift through all the crap men are throwing at them. They typically also have a ton of potential dates/interested guys while guys are just throwing **** out there and trying to get it to stick to the girls. Pretty sure if you asked some of your dates about their experiences, they wouldn't express that it's easy by any means especially for those actually looking for a long term relationship. But those looking for a quick f are definitely in a much better spot than they were in the past but there aren't nearly as many of those out there.

I still feel the same way. I think Tinder and such are really ridiculous, at least for anyone older than their 20s or so. Really a picture tells me very little about whether I would be interested in dating someone or not. I like being able to search for different things I'm looking for or looking to avoid.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I still don't see how it would take 10x as long to just swipe left on the pictures of women you would never be interested in. I don't much like tinder or bumble but when I did use them I swiped left on those I wouldn't be interested in, even some because I thought they were too attractive (meaning if they matched me they were a scam), and it still probably only took me a second or less for each profile.

For the record, I don't like Tinder either. I loved the glory days of OKCupid where you could actually have a good idea of what type of person you were meeting and their views. Unfortunately OKC is near useless here, so I have to rely on Tinder.

Tinder is interesting for now b/c I am in a new city and it's a great way to discover new neighborhoods and girls usually love to play tour guide. However, I find the process super tedious when I'm already established in a city.

Because I can click a mouse button 150 times while watching a YouTube video or whatever else I was gonna do. There is 0 time investment until I check my matches, sift through 5-10 profiles, and send a canned opener to the ones I like. The whole process takes basically no time out of my day.

I mean I know it sounds crass, but as a guy, until I get a strong IOI (i.e. at least 1 response), it's far more time efficient to just treat it completely like a numbers game and save my time until mutual interest is established. It's just a result of the way the app is set up, it's pretty impersonal. If I was on OKC then I'd never send an opening message to someone I knew I had 0 interest in.

You ever consider deleting all the apps for a period of time and trying to just initiate contact by approaching someone you’re attracted to?

I do it quite often actually. In the past via yoga or dance classes. If I wasn't leaving for 2.5 months, I'd probably already be going to a yoga studio daily, taking salsa lessons, and possibly Spanish/French lessons at a school. I prefer to find more of a balance, just that the logistics of being here only a month kinda forced me to rely solely on dating apps.

All I did was change my avatar for the day to a fat disgusting guy saying "be my valentine"

So it goes on my feed as an update.

Somehow she looks at it and thinks it's directed at her.

(Or... hopefully she gets the joke and is just riffing on it.)

I don't know her well enough to say, and I don't want to go there and possibly add to the creepyness.

So I'm just going to ignore it.

Einstein married his cousin and he was a freakin super genius.

You’re leaving out the part where you know that she thinks it was directed at her. Did she slide into your DMs or what?

No , this was Facebook, that's what makes it weird.

Everyone on my feed sees it.

She's the only one who acted like it was personal.

maybe she saw it on her feed so thought you posted it on her page somehow and just doesn't understand facebook at all

I'm leaning towards this, God knows I'm hoping it's something like this.

I’ve found that if there’s interest after a date and especially after smashing, months or even a year away mean little as long as they haven’t gotten into a relationship.

Bumble daily extend is like a 100% response getter for me.

Dating in general including on the apps is way harder on women.

Yah, you're probably right. I've mentioned to a few girls that I'll be on hiatus for 2.5 months and coming back permanently and none really seem put off by it. One girl who I've tried to meet twice and both meetups fell thru I told "meh, I don't want to meet next weekend b/c I'll be leaving soon after, let's just meet when I get back if we're still interested by then". That just seemed to ignite her interest further and now she's practically begging to meet up before I go.

For me it's like 50%, but for some reason Bumble has been by far the worst even though there are a decent amount of users compared to Tinder or Happn. Probably just variance.

I agree. My comment was made in haste, and I'm pretty sure I've even argued the opposite a few times in the past here. Tinder probably blows for hot girls, I think OKC would be much more manageable. Pretty much 100% of guys are gonna swipe right on you, so you have to put in a lot of effort on the front end, then wade through a bunch of mediocre messages.

BTW, Tinder super likes have been insanely good. I've taken a bit extra time to use those on girls who I would think are slightly out of my league, but they've been hitting at a pretty good rate. Kinda wish it wasn't so expensive to buy more, but I guess that's a good thing otherwise their value would plummet. I doubt most guys are using them efficiently though. Probably just wasting them on the top tier girls.

The fake ass thing is really bizarre to me. Doesn't even look human anymore. She's Colombian of course. Luckily implants don't seem to be that popular in Mexico. Kinda sad too, she's early 20s and felt the need to morph her body like that. Looks like she probably would have a crazy good body too with how fit she is.

I don't think I've ever used the super likes

There's no way for me to know for sure, but they seem to be working well for me. I've been targeting girls who I think might swipe right on me 5-10% and matching with about 25% of them. Of my 10 most recent Tinder convos, 6 of them are girls I had super liked. If you live in a large enough city, I'd say Tinder Plus is probably worth it for the unlimited likes and 5 super likes per day.