Meh, there's probably some merit in what you're saying about standing up for what you want, but I would draw the line when it crosses over into being dishonest or bending/leaving out the truth. There are some crappy people out there in the dating world, guys and girls, but that doesn't mean I have to emulate their behavior.

I also try to keep myself happy wrt sex and contact with women so I don't find myself in situations where I feel desperate for sex. I've been doing ok here, even though I've only been back for 3 months, and Mexico looks very promising, so it's no problem if this girl cuts contact when I mention I'm leaving soon. That sort of abundance mindset also helps me be more free and aloof in my interactions with girls b/c it's no sweat if a girl or 2 I'm talking to online isn't in to me.

Of course, the rate of ghosting/flaking from online dating (any casual dating, really) is insanely high. Cost of doing business.

Curious, why does your head immediately go to "these guys aren't dating online" rather than "these guys have learned to not care about ghosting/flaking"?

I really could not care less whether I'm getting laughed at by some girl I've gone on 2 dates with. Come to think of it, I am sure this has happened to me many times, but this is the first time I have ever consciously considered it. It doesn't seem like a healthy thing to care about, and I suggest anyone worried about such things should either (1) date more girls so as to stop getting invested in one girl's opinion early on, or (2) do an emotional self-inventory to figure out why they feel this way.

As for telling the girl about Mexico, it's very much in a grey area to me. Some people will call you an *******, others will think it's fine-- not a clear cut answer either way, so Fossil I think you should follow your own conscience.

Based on a lot of the posts I believe that they are not online dating or maybe even dating at all. They’re either married or celibate are my guesses, and they’ve been out of the game so long they don’t know how the landscape is nowadays.

Fossil, the abundance mindset is certainly what one needs to possess when dating in this day and age. I’m pretty much a big fan of everything you do and the life you live. I’m just trying to offer a different way to look at things for a lot of people here who are set in their ways and views.

No worries, the varying viewpoints and angles to approach certain situations are what makes the discussions more interesting.

I could understand if a guy in my situation didn't tell the girl he was leaving soon and slept with her and then later brought it up. It's not necessarily for me, but I wouldn't look down on it. I think it's much different from a moral standpoint then if the subject of long-term plans got brought up and the guy outright lies and then right before leaving says "oh btw, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, bye!"

Here’s a question for everyone...how have you handled it when you’ve gone on a date with a girl (or a guy) and she’s (he’s) been much fatter in pics than you expected? A phenomenon I call fat-fishing. What did you do in those instances?

FGAS

MySpace Angle


/no insight - the 5 gals I've went on dates with matched perfectly heh

I literally got advice here and from a good friend and it lead to my current relationship. I like to help others the best I can. I know I'm not the best at dating, I don't think anyone here likely is but I try to help. Why do you care so much Malucci? Has online dating and OKC changed that much in 3 short years? Could I not instantly jump on board? I was averaging a ton a dates a week for a while and then eventually having some short to medium term things. I definitely made a ton of mistakes and definitely have some decent advice.

If a Girl is much fatter... What I'd do is just finish the hour of the date and be honest with them if you're really not interested in them--this is why I typically had a "drink" as a date and if it went well continued to maybe more drinks + some apps or something. You can be even more honest but that typically isn't fun for anyone. Girls know what they're doing when they have old or angled pics and should expect what they get on the backend. Of the first dates I went on, most typically looked better than their photos which was great; a few looked worse or just bad in general that I couldn't tell exactly from their photos.

Ride it out. In the future ask for some full body pics before you commit to a date if all that is posted is shoulder and up shots. I'm a seasoned internet dating vet and it's only happened a couple times to me in 20 years. I just rolled with it and moved on. But yeah if they look like they could be bigger than what they are representing and it'll change your opinion on wanting to meet them then by all means ask for a full body pic.

This is an excellent question. I know that I recently mentioned I don't think it's a good idea to get drunk on first dates, but I think this is a great spot to make an exception.

Not cringey at all. Good banter with her and she was receptive.
This was a layup though. She wants to smash. I hope you didn't blow it.

When I first started online dating, I used to take chances on girls with unclear photos or no clear body shot, and more often than not, they showed up pretty heavy. I still honored the date though and just left after 1 drink and 30-45 minutes. One of them became a friend, so I guess it was all worth it.

In the past few years I never go on a date with a girl who doesn't have a few clear face photos and a body shot. My experience has been similar to capone's. Many who look even better than their photos, a few who look worse, but not outrageously so.

Overall, I thought it went pretty well, yet my game clearly has room for improvement.

I arrived ten minutes early, she arrived right on time, and I thought she looks better than her pictures. She's no smokeshow, but definitely an acceptable level of hotness and not out of my league, if that's a thing.

Conversation flowed very naturally, we have a lot in common. Talked about people we know in common, books, movies, music, podcasts, TV, etc. I told some funny stories about a Vegas bachelor party (at the risk of looking like a degen, but she was laughing). Great eye contact throughout. She drank a total of 1 cider, I drank a total of 2 IPA's, the date lasted 1:45 hours. I offered to go to the bar next door to continue the evening, but she said she has an early morning, and it is a weeknight after all.

Something I feel like I could improve is what the PUA community calls kino, flirtatious touching... I didn't touch her hardly at all. We were seated at the bar and there was space between us, so I thought it would be awkward to dive across no man's land and go for it to put an arm around her or something.

We both have early mornings tomorrow and this is a Wednesday night after all, so we called it a night at 9:45. I got her number, walked her to her car, and got a good night hug (but not a kiss). I didn't attempt to get a kiss, and if there's been no physical or flirtatious foreplay going on, I don't think diving in for a peck out of the blue is a good play.

I know Clark says you should basically always go for kisses even before they seem ready to take it to that stage, no ragrets, etc. I dunno. We both hadn't drank enough to be even tipsy, so I feel like going for it would just seem contrived.

So I guess I text her tomorrow about the good time I had, and try to set plans to see her again soon?

Comments on all streets appreciated.

Couple of weeks ago I turned up on a first date, she was a bit podgy. I thought oh well and proceeded to start talking openly about religion, politics and all other risky subjects. My sense of humour can be pretty sick and it all came tumbling out. She was cool and ended up sharing my sense of humour and most of my worldview, and we had a good laugh before we parted ways, I ended up staying there for 2 hours.

she was one of those where it was a real shame she was overweight, because if she just put some effort in she'd be hot. The most incredible eyes, naturally good looking, but podgy and terrible teeth (and breath). Just really unfortunate. She was Lithuanian too, they're all hot over there.

I mean she’s so thirsty right from the get go that I’d have asked her out on the third message instead of the more typical fourth.

I never go out with anyone who doesn't have clear body shots. That's also my biggest reason to try to Facebook stalk is to see if their pics hold up.

There’s definitely a subclass of very intelligent and good looking women that intentionally don’t show their full body but for most people it’s not worth worrying about unless you’re looking for something more serious

Not exactly in response to your post, but it can be really rewarding to find the good ones who happen to have bad/obscure pics that most guys just swipe past and miss.

I'm on date three with a Tinder girl whose main pic is a long range affair with her standing next to a small car and she has sunglasses on. if you're swiping at speed the car is the thing that stands out, but I paid more attention and saw the girl had a banging body, next few pics show she's cute as fk, just as cute in real life and we've had two really enjoyable dates.

If she'd used her second pic as her main one I probably wouldn't have got a look in.

Ime 9 times out of 10 girls who dont have body pics have a good reason to hide it.

I would say it’s more like 998 out of 1000. Any girl on a dating site with a decent body, who is actually trying to meet someone, is showing off that decent body. And everyone with a less than decent body is trying to hide that thing and angle it perfectly so you just can’t tell and are hoping that the rest of her looks as magical as that one perfect face shot she was able to take.

Answer this one if you can.

Picture of hot girl with one or more girls.

In every picture.

No pictures of her by herself.

So do you bother to ask, or just go out with her figuring she's not the hot one?

What are the odds?

There is more than one person common to all the pictures?

Yeah, usually at least the same two besties,but occasionally some sick broad will have a dozen pics of her sorority sisters posted in various forms together,and you got to go all Criminal Minds figuring out what's the common denominator.

I saw a profile that was 4 pics, all of the same pair of girls. I swiped left just on principle.

Fossil,

Re: your previous post. Just send her this followup message: “it’s disrobe, not derobe, idiot.” Then block her.

Hmm, on Bumble can they see messages if you block them? I think it just completely deletes the message thread and you never see them again. I'd probably do it though.