I understand, being told our online persona is bland can be hurtful, but don't project your insecurities onto me.

pop,

Well that escalated quickly.

Lol.

Women can smell a disrespectful dick across the ether. It's a special gift they have.

I'm going out on a limb to guess you're fat and ugly also, and channel your anger about that into false bravado instead of putting in the work to fix the fat part.

An ugly face can be more than overcome with decent clothes and a reasonably attractive personality.

poppunk,

I think

Is a lot better than

You disagree. Fine. What would it take for you to change your mind. Let's say the next 10 posters come in and agree that ChipWrecked's message was better than yours. Would you accept that regardless of which you think is smarter, ChipWrecked's would probably have more success? Or would you still insist your message was better. What would change your mind?

I'm not ripped or anything, but I have visible abs. As for ugly, I don't think so. I'm not Ryan Reynolds hot or anything, but I have a niche look certain girls have found "cute" in the right light.

I don't think either message really matters. Either is sufficient if the girl finds you attractive enough. That being said, my message is written to win hearts and minds, his is written to be good enough.

Actually, I wrote to get answers. Profile, messages, everything. Geared to get a response. I'd take it from there, if I just get a reply.

There's nothing in your message but your own ego stroke.

But hey. You do you. And good luck.

It's called a punchline.

I'm posting my Tinder profile, just for ****s and giggles. I don't use it anymore. It worked pretty well, if I do say so myself.



And a sample message I got, NSFW:

He wasn't specifically responding to you, but he may as well have been.

Any guy that picks his own photos has made a huge mistake.
Just search for guys on any site and you can see how goofy half the photos look but they think that is their best representation of themselves.

You have to have a woman pick your photos. I would say if you show a woman 10 photos 50% of the guys at least would be shocked what the woman thinks is their best representation.
Most people have hang ups about the way they look so they pick goofy pictures that minimize their meaningless hang up.

Not to mention though that for every 10 guys that claim they are banging hot chicks online, 1 guy actually is, 4 are cleaning up the 1-6 range and 5 are just completely full of ****.

Agree completely. In fact the last date I had she said let's update your tinder pics they're not as good as they could be. What a great gal.

Tbh, the dribble you wrote didn't make her reply, once again it was based on looks.

But it's better than whatever is going on with poppunk.

He's quickly turned defensive, I don't see why he feels like he has to do it.

Sent from my LG-LS997 using Tapatalk

It probably has the most to do with advanced age.

That Louis C. K. bit about middle-aged dating is spot on.

I'm a troll at heart so I type with passion. You shouldn't take me at 100%. I don't actually care what people think of the jokey message I wrote. It's a dad joke anyway, where the joke is that it's a bad joke.

I could say the same for a lot of women. Like, I've stumbled on attractive women I've met IRL and they used pictures that made them look real homely. Women aren't good at picking optimal photos just because they have a vagina. Some people have a good eye for that sort of stuff.

I think I'm decent at picking photos, but my selection of photos isn't that good to begin with. So, yeah, mine are just passable. I'm not a big picture guy, I don't go out of my way to take them or try to get in them. Sometimes I think it'd be a good idea to go hiking and pay some kid with a fancy Canon to take action shots of me walking or posing on a rock cliff. I don't even hike, really, just seems like those make for quality profile pics. Those pics seem so disingenuous though, like someone really did pay a kid with a Canon to follow them. A selfie is a low quality shot, but it's honest. Like, why did someone take an up close shot of you in a yoga pose at the edge of a cliff? Why don't you do yoga somewhere more safe and comfortable?

The point is to have someone else pick them because they are more objective than yourself, it can be a man or woman as long as they have good taste as you mentioned.

Would you perhaps describe your posting as a magic show?

No, it's more like an improv show, where I play a character. It's a dangerous road to go down though, I've been doing it so long I don't even know who I really am anymore.

From my experience, it truly is a numbers game, and you can still send an informed message without it being a full paragraph. Really, shorter the better I think. Just need a conversation starter, some kind of jumping point, or an intriguing or insightful remark to get things going.

Don't think any girl is going to be WoWed by a first message. Sending something needlessly long right off the bat also can also set a hard mark to meet for the girl. Like the joke you wrote which is hilarious at how not funny it is, well done on that 3rd level humor... is hard to reply to. Or at least hard to match. It's just as much a numbers game to the girl too, and any exhibiting of personality is going to take a little back and forth to come about anyway. As good as a joke can be, if there's not much more to responding to it than "haha", it probably isn't having the intended effect you want.

If anything, girls passing up your joke (granted it's not that long, but relatively it is) are likely smarter than the ones who don't. They are better off shooting their shot on a bunch of other guys because pot odds.

Always fun catching El oh El when he is completely wrong with a post.

I mean seriously, a ranking of San Francisco dating apps that doesn't have Grindr at least in the no. 2 position? GTFO.

Ok, posting in this thread has piqued my interest in online dating again. I reactivated my Okcupid and dug up some of my old gems. Let me have it, tell me how bad I am at messaging.

(Paralegal girl)
You work at a law firm? That's cool. My sister used to be a legal secretary, I visited there a few times and it was confirmed in my mind that the stereotype of lawyers being dicks is absolutely true. He was a cool dick though, like Ryan Reynolds in Waiting, or Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder, or Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool.

(Context: Talked about being really into tabletop games.)
You ever play Dungeons and Dragons? I did once, and it was surprisingly really fun. However, the serious players did not appreciate how I had my character furiously masturbate whenever he faced adversity.

(Girl plays bass in punk band.)
Howdy. You're in a punk band? That's cool. One day I will learn to play my guitar properly and start my band "Shoelaces for kids without shoes", it's a very political project.

(Context: Said her favorite author was Sallinger.)
I saw a spelling mistake in your profile, you spelled R.L. Stine "Sallinger".

(Just trying to make conversation about common interests)
Hi, I see you like Bo Burnham. How did you like Make Happy? I loved it, the Kanye Rant song at the end is so so good. I dig Hellogoodbye too, I listen to that first EP all the time.

(Context: Girl really into video games.)
What's the latest game you've been playing? I see you play PS4, unfortunately I'm all Xbox One this gen, but I definitely think about getting one sometimes. Horizon Zero Dawn looks dope, and Last of Us 2 is coming. The first one is one of my favorite games ever.

The problem is that you are trying to screen girls through the messaging process when that is not the objective. It's being lazy and unrealistic hoping that you can get a perfect date through a few messages; your actual goal is to just to set up a date so you can see if it's something worth pursuing.

Online dating is marketed so it seems like you can be selective and lazy, but that's not really the case. You still need to put in the effort and be willing to meet a ton of new people to find someone you are actually interested in.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I've been mostly successful just saying hi, random small talk, and asking to meet up at a decently popular bar. If they're boring it was still a decent way to spend 2 hours that I would have otherwise just been doing nothing with, and if it turns out well then it's a great and exciting next few days/weeks.

(Guy that posts in a poker site dating thread)
Hi, I see that your online dating messages are -EV. In fact, you look to be drawing dead. Next time, instead of going all-in and hitting the send button, fold pre flop.

If it's plausible to just say hi and escalate to coffee or a movie on the third or fourth message, I'm all for that. That's the easy way, not trying to write decent openers when you have nothing to work with. Seems frowned upon to just say "hi" though. It would always annoy me when girls had the most generic, brief profiles and still had something like "Don't message me if you're just going to say Hi." Like, what the **** you want me to say? I like your hair, gurl!

Are you just saying hi on Okcupid/POF, or are we talking Tinder?