Quote:
Originally Posted by Dudd
Maybe wait a touch longer before asking to meet? I don't know, maybe you're doing it two or three messages in and then they say yes even though you haven't hooked them all the way, and then they lose interest over the next few days and then cancel when something better comes up because they don't feel invested? I'm not say do a hundred messages over two weeks, but let it go for a dozen messages over a day or two and only ask the ones out who seem to be more interested?
This is bad advice. It varies case to case but you generally shouldn't be asking someone out later than the fifth message (unless you're going back and forth in a de facto IM session). Looking back at the last five girls I messaged with on OKCupid I asked for (and got) their phone numbers on the second, first (she messaged me first), third and second messages. The fifth girl was after more than five messages what looks like sixteen minutes into an IM session.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontDoItPls
Do you send a confirmation text day of? Or nothing and then they flake a few hours before date?
Also, you have to keep the excitement up if there is a lot of time between setting up the date and the day of the date.
Opening with a "How did your day go?" when you haven't even met doesn't doesn't give off fun vibes or make her excited about the date.... likely does the completely opposite making her think she's in for another boring date. She realizes she isn't excited and just flakes.
This is good advice and should be added to my previous post. If you don't have a good connection it's more important to try and keep up her interest. To take my Acapulco example, if I felt she wasn't that keen I might send her an amusing photo (preferably where I look good!) from the weekend with a lighthearted "way better than Acapulco". If she replies with a bikini photo that's obviously a good sign and you reply with "Damn, better get to the gym" or "What is your friend's phone number? Just curious." (obviously don't send the latter message if her friend is actually way hotter than she is). Keeping up the excitement is less important if your initial spark was very good.