ww,

I mean, I'm not looking to be in a relationship with either you or this woman, but it seems to me that the dynamic you're looking for is not one that can last with a woman of quality in equilibrium. Like, if you want a long term relationship with someone, you can't have them being "driven crazy," or "begging" for attention, or worrying about being "available but not too available." At some point you've got to transition away from those things, if the relationship goes on. Meh.

If you're not looking to be in a relationship and are just looking for like, a fun and passionate fling or whatever, then the dynamic you want seems much more reasonable.

Yeah I imagine my game is weak. I'm a bit introverted so I avoid social situations. I have been getting out more and I have done better at making connections at my new job which has improved my social life.

I wouldn't say I'm a hot commodity at all. I've banged 5 different girls since my divorce a little over a year ago. Lol two of them were not very good looking. 3 of them were good looking/decent though. I'd imagine I should be banging better looking chicks but honestly I favor volume over quality. If they are fun in bed I have no problem with average.

Yeah that's what kind of happened here. She wanted to transition to something more stable. When we did everything seemed to change and I imagine it was at least partially because I started acting different/caring more/ letting my emotions show more and it made me appear weak.

Broke up with my GF today after trying to fix it and that not working. It was surprisingly hard but there was just to many red flags I was ignoring. Would love it if she came by and banged me from time to time but I imagine that's a pipe dream. Even though she did tell me im hands down the best lover she's ever had (probably stroking my ego lol) Getting my hair cut now and going to head out with some friends.

Is it standard practice to un-friend on FB? It seems silly but it might be weird seeing her out with other guys right now and I want to stay strong on this one.

Just unfollow if you don't want to see any of her stuff.

Nothing wrong with unfriending imo

I'm not part of any social networking so I'm kind of dumb about it. If you unfriend her you won't see her out with other guys?

I don't think I'll run into her anytime soon but I need some time already. She was just that amazing in bed. Since my divorce though I've had some of the best sex ever. So I'm excited to meet the next freak.

Been with a woman met on OKCupid for three years now. When we met, I was 35 and she was 25. We moved in together last month. Still never had so much as an argument. We'll see if that changes now that we're living together!

Congrats on the 3 years. I'm curious why you waited 3 years to decide to move in together?

Pretty clear imo that it's because he's not a complete idiot.

Getting quite a few texts from her now. She's asking me what's wrong and that I've been ignoring her. The funny thing is if I tell her she will instantly dismiss it. Lolol and telling her how I feel is pretty damn beta anyway. Who gives a ****. Haha

So I have basically ignored her the entire week. What's the play? Should I not answer the texts or should I explain I think she's a narcissist or something else to a degree I can't handle.

ww,

I think that still largely depends on whether you want to figure out a way to be with this person long term, or if you are trying to have a girl you have sex with from time to time who is always chasing you and largely exists for sex and ego fulfillment. Initially it seemed like you were in category 2 and trying to figure out how to transition to category 1, but it seems more like you are in category 2 and either want to keep it there or have lost interest in even that.

As someone who stupidly moved in with a girlfriend way too fast +1

Especially dating someone that much younger than you, 3 year is not that long at all.

GL op

Citanul advice seems expert, people should follow it more ITT. I've known my current gf for about three years, met on OKC (definitely thanks to this thread), in a relationship for two and a half years and started living together exactly a year ago. I thought the timing was pretty reasonable on that even though we initially said we'd probably wait a bit longer with moving in but at some point we were together all the time so we did it anyway.

Part of it was certainly that I had never lived with a woman on a full-time basis before, liked my freedom and didn't want to rush into that. But another part that made it easier is that she had a good job 50 miles away. So we would focus on work during the week and then take the train to spend each weekend together. Living together has gone well so far, though. I've always preferred sleeping alone, but I'm getting more used to not doing so. We're not bothering each other too much, and there's definitely some perks in that she's a pretty good cook. Plus with our combined incomes we were able to get an apartment on the 25th floor of a luxury highrise in downtown LA, the sort of place I could only dream about before, and yet I'm still paying a couple hundred a month less in rent.

So I just got on tinder for the first time and matched with all 5 guys I swiped right on. Is this typical? Do all guys just swipe right on every girl ? This is so easy! I picked 5 guys out of like 200 and they are all messaging me....do I really just get to pick any guy I want, this is awesome.

MLYLT,

Yeah that's normal. Enjoy.

Yeah, that definitely makes sense. Can also understand why you guys took it slow given the work situation.

Reason I was curious was it seems to usually come up sometime between the 1-2 year mark.

In my case, we moved in together closer to the year mark as my thinking was I want to have kids while I'm still youngish, so it was important for me to find out if the relationship had life-time partner potential or not. We've been living together now a bit over a year and I can say it was one of the best decisions we ever made and has worked out great for us as we are getting married in 3.5 months.

Obviously, there were some small adjustment at first, but like you said there are many perks. Most importantly, in my case, it brought our relationship to an entirely new level and confirmed for me I found the one for me.

Yes it's that simple. Girls **** up the scale, guys **** down the scale. You have all the power in the world. Just realize guys will **** down the scale but they do NOT relationship down the scale very easily.

Average girl on Tinder Day 1: "This is awesome! I can match with any guy I want!!"

Day 60: "Men are such pigs! Where are all the REAL men at who know how to treat a woman?"

I swipe right on every girl. Fwiw

Is there really much difference between moving in with a girl after a year and moving in with a girl after 3 years?

With my last girlfriend, we dated for a year and I thought she'd be the one I spent the rest of my life with. We moved in together, and she started acting a lot different. I don't think it would have mattered if we waited for 3 years to start living together, it would have been the same story, so I'm glad that I found out after 1.5 years invested instead of 3.5 years.

I guess it probably varies by age, but I was 29 when that relationship started, and I'm 32 now, and I'd much rather figure out fairly quickly whether or not a girl is "the one" rather than take my time, because if my next relationship lasts 4-5 years and doesn't work out, then I've pretty much exited my prime dating years.

For guys in their early or mid-20s, I think it would make a lot more sense to take your time, but I have a better idea what I want in a girl now and I think it's very reasonable to move in with someone after a year if logistics allow for it.

Same. I swipe right, then decide later. Probably only end up messaging 33% of my "matches".