Of the 7 replies that didn't lead to phone numbers...
- I was disappointed with 3 of the responses (either didn't have effort put in to them, didn't appear to have read my profile, and/or didn't seem interesting) and didn't message them back
- one gave a solid response but didn't respond to my followup
- one didn't respond until months later, which was random
- with two of them I had a couple lengthy-ish conversations back and forth that eventually didn't get responded to (those were both early on when I was still figuring out optimal strat, and I think are good examples of why you're right about keeping it brief-ish and going for phone number + setting up date around msg #3 instead of having too much online chatting)

3 out of the 6 dates (answers both questions)

OK I'll share a TR from about a month ago with a girl who is currently a FWB. I'm leaving my current city (Omaha, NE) in 2 months so mainly I was just looking for a casual relationship vis OKCupid.

Anyway, I checked out the girl's profile and she was cute, but uninteresting so in that scenario I just sent out my canned message b/c I don't feel like putting in much effort unless I'm attracted to the girl AND she seems interesting. Here's my canned message, it's adapted from one that a 2+2er posted awhile ago, not sure if it's good or not:

"I have to admit that this internet dating experience has at least been good for a few laughs. I have gotten some pretty crazy messages so far. I can only imagine what it must be like for you.

I have some pretty amusing stories so far. How about you? Anything yet that made you laugh or are you just getting the standard, "Your really hot" messages (of course they use the wrong "your")?

Make it a great day!
(name)"

She writes one message about liking my positivity and my "Make it a great day" line, then an hour later (before I had even read the 1st message) writes another message that is super long and mentions several things in my profile. I don't think we really have much in common and her crazy potential seems like a 9/10, but I'm not looking for anything serious and am leaving town soon anyway so I figure I'll just use a super bold strategy and don't really care too much about the results.

So I noticed she was online and decide to IM her. After about 5 minutes of small talk I direct the convo to sex talk and specifically mention I've been reading a couple of tantric books. She's very intrigued and we talk about sex for an hour or two. Eventually she asks for my number, immediately calls me, and I suggest we meet up at a sex shop in a couple days (a Sunday night).

Sunday night, we meet up in a Target parking lot and she gets in my car and we go to the sex shop. We're both obviously pretty turned on so we start physical contact in the shop quickly, buy a few cheap items, get back to my car and start fooling around in the back seat. We decide to head to her place, she gets her car, and I spend the night at her place and have sex.

She's definitely pretty crazy, she would be texting me long messages several times a day and wanting to talk on the phone several times a day, but I let her know that I didn't see anything long-term developing, but would like to see her in a casual capacity to which she agreed.

Probably not a standard online TR by any means, but I guess it kinda goes along with what another poster said earlier that you can get away with directing the convo towards sex a lot easier online. I will probably continue using this tactic with girls I'd like to hook up with, but see little long-term prospects with.

I thought I had a great exchange with someone on POF, unfortunately I don't have access to her earlier messages. I was only kind of attracted to her, but I thought of a great message to send so I had to message her for my amusement. (I didn't pursue her after she didn't send me a response to my last message)

her profile included this at the beginning:

The Globe and Mail writes, "xxxxxx is astounding, heart-throbbing and highly addictive."
The Chicago Tribune exclaimed, "You'll be astonished. It's like Disney World in a package."

So my initial message was:

After reading your great reviews from varying newspapers I decided to contact people I know and get them to describe me. It's only fair I suppose.

"I have no son"- Mother

"Please stop calling me, or I'm going to the police"- An ex.

"Shutup, have the money by Friday, or else" - Business partner


So things weren't going as planned, but then finally I got this gem,
"You're probably above average" - My parole officer

So as you can see from the last comment I have quite a few things going for me.

What area of the city are you in? How long have you been in Toronto?

-Todd

She then responded with something about a homeless guy impersonating my parole officer, so my response was:

Helping the homeless? Okay, you got me, I'm a very secret socialist caught up in a web of lies. Some of that money I gave him, allowed him to upgrade into a fancy, water resistant, plastic container so he's not really homeless anymore. The rest of the money went to food and crack.


I wish I had her responses, but she asked if I was truly taking care of the homeless guy or just exploiting him and if I was going to take care of him when he OD'd on rubbing alcohol.



I'm not his guardian, I'm just an enabler. Just like when a firearms dealer gives a rifle to a drug dealer, he is enabling that person to protect themselves from the other unstable people they probably are involved with.

Also, I wrote down rubbing alcohol, but then erased it and went with crack. The only conclusion I can come to is that you can read minds. I've never met a bulimic before.


Her response was something about her being a certified mind reader


So you can tell what I'm thinking and you haven't called the police yet? For shame!

Although, that alone makes me want to have drinks with someone that is willing to put up with me. What part of the city are you in?


She responded with the East end so I picked a pub near her and asked her out there.

Then the following occurred.



Well first, no idea where that is (the pub). Ive only lived in Toronto for a couple months.
I can't tonight as I have to be at work for 5 am tomorrow, and I am having my gf/dealer over....
xxxxxx











LeftTurnAtAlbuquerque
1/24/2013 1:48:36 PM

Where did you move from?

Auld Spot is on the Danforth, between Broadview and Pape. I'm actually pretty busy the next few days stalking playgrounds and such, but am free next Thursday as well.









xxxxxxxxxx
1/24/2013 2:04:18 PM

Should you really be trollin for hoes if you're so busy? Lol











LeftTurnAtAlbuquerque
1/24/2013 3:35:46 PM

I'm free during most days as well, but I'm not sure what your work hours are like. How does Saturday afternoon sound?









xxxxxxxxxxx
1/24/2013 6:21:02 PM

What time?











LeftTurnAtAlbuquerque
1/24/2013 6:43:54 PM

2pm









xxxxxxxx
1/24/2013 6:45:46 PM

Do you have cellular telephone device and/or palm pilot?











LeftTurnAtAlbuquerque
1/24/2013 6:53:32 PM

Is that a yes for Saturday at 2 at Auld Spot? You can reach me at 6474027822.









xxxxxxxx
1/24/2013 8:30:35 PM

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get to know you a bit better before meeting











LeftTurnAtAlbuquerque
1/24/2013 9:39:28 PM

Hey xxxxxxxx,

I don't really want to get Te'o'd so isn't that what meeting is for? This way you get to see that I'm actually an overweight 40 year old, bald leper saving you from putting in any extra additional effort.

If you give me your number or send a text we can exchange more texts/ converse sarcastically some more.

-Todd


I know, tl;dr and all, but I thought it was one of the best exchanges I've had on POF and figured I would share. No response and I would like her, but from her photos I find her only meh (6/10)

Possibly. It was a response to first quote. I don't think my standards are too high. Most are in the 6-7 range.

But with these stats maybe I'm being too harsh.
72 messages
2 responses
0 numbers

When does this begin and end with a girl? I haven't dated much embarrassingly and I would think that at a certain point you are going to feel compatibility and you don't always need to be touching and flirting and you can go into rapport.

bigt, I think your overly sarcastic approach might compel girls who aren't really interested to keep messaging you b/c the convo is fun and entertaining or it's possible that your approach might make them think your chances of being creepier are a little higher than a more standard approach.

Of course it could also be option 3, which is that there will always be some girls who are very hesitant about meeting online guys in real life no matter how much interest is built via messaging.

I think the point is is that with most guys, once they sense compatibility they will natural up the level of touching/flirting, so for them it's tough to say if you can be successful in a scenario where there is a lot of perceived compatibility but no touching, because they're rarely in that situation.

I went through and counted all my dates since moving in late August.
I've written far more unsolicited messages on OKC than any other dating site. On OKC, I would estimate my reply rate was about 35% before I changed my profile pic a month ago, and 65% since then.

My reply rate on Match was somewhat lower. At this point, I don't often message girls on match unless they wink at me (or indicate interest in some other way) first. I do go out with a lot of girls on OKC and Match b/c they have winked/messaged me first. I have a profile on POF too, but the few messages I have sent through that site have a terrible reply rate, and no attractive girl ever messages me first there.

I honestly have more responses lately than I know what to do with (I know this part is a brag, but my outcomes certainly are not), so I never follow up on many of these replies.

Since I moved, I have been out with 26-27 girls. 15 through OKC, 9-10 through Match, and 2 through other sites.

Of these 26-27, 2 are still undetermined as to whether I will go on a second date.
Of the others, I have slept with 4 (well, 2 others have slept over, but I assume that's not what counts). Of these 4, 2 were purely sexual to start with. One of the other two is ongoing at this point...I have a third date on Thursday.

One of these "undetermineds" I was out with tonight. Absolutely gorgeous girl...definitely top 3 in that respect that I've been out with since I moved here...former University of Kansas cheerleader. Might be my most expensive first date yet, but that's my own doing....the bacon wrapped dates appetizer we got was so delicious I insisted we get entrees!

Big: that seems like a hell of a lot of work

JR: begins when you decide you want to have sex with her, and becomes less important after you have sex with her

hooking up in half of your 1st dates??

Nick,

The combo of your high response rate and low dating success rate makes me think you prob should screen more selectively. That is of course a very good problem to have.

Nick, could you show the 2 profile pics that yielded a 35% vs. 65% reply rate, I'm interested to see the difference. Do you just use MyBestFace to dictate which pics you use?

I've posted these already ITT. My old pic is in post 891 (first pic) and my new one is in post 970.

From these, it will not be obvious why the new pic is better. Most people ITT like the old pic better. I ran them against each other 4 times on MyBestFace, and they averaged out exactly the same.

But I saw immediate positive results from the change...I now get almost double the profile visits regardless of messaging.

I think the new pic is much better as a main profile pic for several reasons. All of these are connected to the fact that a main pic must look best in thumbnail.

1.) The new pic is a lower quality (web cam vs. professional photo), which gives it lower ratings when seen in full size. However, in thumbnail, you can't really tell the difference.

2.) My facial expression in the new pic is broader, which shows up better in thumbnail.

3.) The B&W in the new pic makes it stand out immediately from other thumbnails.

4.) You can see my teeth in the new pic, which are my physical feature that I get the most compliments on.

Went on my first date from OKC last night. I got her # after a few messages and we set up a sushi date over text.
I thought things didn't go so great so like Nick I reluctantly sent the message asking what went wrong.

4 minutes later I get this reply:
"what do you mean? nothing went wrong lol
or did you find that it was bad?"

lmao, ffs ..

Hip,

Hope you recovered from that, should be easy to turn that into a funny bonding experience.

Wait, did you at least try to set up a second date before texting that?

Ouch....I've never sent that message unless or until I've been explicitly rejected! That's better than a rejection though...at least you have a chance.

hipster,

give more details of the date and how you responded. I would feel like you are sort of screwed now.

PR,

He is far from screwed.

Letting her think she didn't impress you is far from bad.

How so? Sounds like he said to her basically..."Looking for feedback since I wasn't good on our date...can you give me pointers for future dates on what you I think I did wrong?"

That shows a huge LACK OF CONFIDENCE and he basically waived the white flag.

It's also sort of weird to ask for dating advice from a girl you just went on a date with.

I don't know how you transition into sexual contact from here. I'd like your thoughts on what he can do.

For drinks, I usually get a corner type of sitting thing, so that you are sitting at right angles, or alternatively 90 degrees, from each other. Then there is no physical barrier.

I live in like the Taliban of dating cultures so I don't really extremely escalate but even social touch is 10000x better than no touch at all.

Short people probably wouldn't be as successful with touch though, since that's sort of just creepy if some shorty touches you eww

Nick, are you thinking of stopping with the match membership since you do best on OKC?

PR,

So ****ing easy to make a joke out of that.

Your problem is you project your lack of success and lack of confidence onto everything.

I have a question for you guys (been lurking). I have a few good pictures of myself in front of interesting landmarks (the Duomo in Milan etc) but they are with my ex-girlfriend. We are still cool so she wouldn't mind me posting the picture unedited (she is also pretty which is a plus).

Would you block her face out? Or post it unedited? Using other pictures isn't really an option (I don't have many good pictures and I look better than usual in these).

Why block face? What good would it do? I can only imagine leaving it as is might give u a couple extra points imo.