My ultimate goal is a LTR on my own terms. I didn't realize that until I got started.

That is going to take a long time and a lot of growth and effort on my part.

In the meantime, there's no reason I shouldn't create some good times for me and my dates.

I'm not gonna be comfortable doing this as long as I'm legally bound to her. Any emotional bonds are long since gone. That's how I was able to integrate dating in the first place.

Our first mediation session is Monday.

I hope this thread is still running when I need breakup advice.

These 'two on the line' are plates, options. Just nice to have.

the legality of the situation bothers you? are you afraid she will use you seeing other women against you in family court? i think you mentioned kids before.

No, California is no fault anyway. As to custody I'll take a long view as I posted before.

It just doesn't feel right. I can see it makes me act differently than I would. I'm done acting like anything. I just want to be.

So **** it, I can wait.

hang in there man. stay away from manosphere type stuff. don't want to become too bitter. go to the gym instead or train some martial art. you're old now. gotta work hard so you don't have to bang cat ladies.

Lol yeah I'm over it. **** gets repetitive quick. The concepts are solid gold though.

Mostly for me because it just codifies what I'd already realized.

Posted this earlier, but I don't think the link worked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_yj-ZNi9DI

rofldThanks for posting.

Are you a super hot guy? These numbers seem excessive.
33% reply rate, and 13 opens in 3 weeks. Not sure I believe it.

Boom inflated numbers call out!! they do seem a little high unles you're a stud.

although I find older women often respond at a higher rate even if its to say no thanks etc.

I guess the type of women he's messaging are looking at a narrower pool of men/are more serious about this so will put more consideration into more guys?

My gf's aunt is doing online dating and she's 54 or something. Her attitude seems to be have an open mind because you're going to get some horrors in that demographic.

Never thought I'd say this but sublime, that's genius

I think that's a good line if they cancel a second time but I've legit had to reschedule multiple first dates for good reasons so I think it's too....strong for the first time.

If a girl cancels for whatever reason it is bad signs.

Chasing her is bad and if she is desirable she won't be chasing you too hard as she will have other options. Something like "Lame" line is pretty good.

Chip --

There are definitely some truths/valuable information about dealing with women buried in the redpill/rationalmale/whatever **** you've been reading, but man, some 50-year-old divorcee dad talking about "plates" and "frame" and "bangin bitches" will never not come off as pathetic. Don't be that guy.

It's a bad sign, yes, but a one word answer of "lame" sounds kind of passive aggressive imo. There are plenty of legitimate reasons a person can't make a date. If it happens once I'll just tell them I understand and to text me when they want to hang out. If it happens twice then the lame text seems more appropriate.

I have never had a girl be proactive in actually making plans for a first date. That is why it is bad. Even if she had a genuine reason for cancelling, having to put responsibility in her hands for initiating the first date diminishes chances of it ever happening.

---

From a female point of view, if a guy doesn't try to kiss you or do anything physical on a first date, would that put you off speaking to him again?

I mean for a good first date where you got on well and enjoyed each others company the entire time.

It isn't bad because you will quickly find out if she's actually interested in hanging out with you.

The girl I've been seeing for roughly two months cancelled on me the morning of our scheduled first date. I then had to cancel on her the day we rescheduled for.

Third time was the charm, as they say, and things are going pretty well. (Minus the fact that she has a very minor snoring problem lol. But I just nudge her on her stomach and problem solved.)

Why are you so hung up on the physical part of a first date? To be honest, and I could be very wrong, I think if the first date went well it probably works in your favour to go without the physical stuff. It creates a strong desire in them to get it the next time around if they are really into you.

I know when I finally get around to upping the physical stuff during the 2nd date they are always extremely receptive for example holding hands they usually end up squeezing my hand a few times soon after I go for it, which is a strong signal they are excited about it/wanting it badly.

From my LOL failure experiences last summer I don't think it's a turnoff until the end of the 2nd date and it's not until the end of the 3rd where they will actually stop contact. I cringe thinking about how horrible I was at this early last summer.

Basically, if the girl goes silent after what you perceived was a good first date, the lack of physical touching is near the bottom of the list of reasons why.

There's a difference between lack oh physical contact by choice and lack of physical contact because you were too nervous/awkward/etc. And most girls I imagine can pick up on it through your body language.

The first one can be leveraged, the second is a net negative

That is very true. I didn't even think of the awkward/nervous since mine was always by choice. Although if you fall into the nervous/awkward category there is probably other issues that should be dealt with first.

when a chick flakes the proper response is "gay". yes it's straight out of roissy and yes it works 100% of the time. Not only will it get them to re-initiate in the future but I've had chicks "un-flake" for that very same date.

Lol. This thread is tipping way too far into redpill territory for me. Have fun guys.

I mean don't get me wrong no girl wants to date some pushover loser but some of you guys are so deep into this alpha/beta bull**** it's ridiculous. These bloggers take all of
evo psych as gospel when in reality it's credibility is shaky in the wider scientific community.

Wat...

I haven't seen anything even close to that redpill bull****.

Quote the posts you're referring to?

No idea how or if it's possible to multi quote on the app but several posters are discussing roissy, iron rules, "manosphere" material. This is all very closely related to the redpill.

To each their own. Nothing against em. I just personally find it all ridiculous and the evidence behind it lacking.