::Rolls up sleeves::
Let's do a little update. We'll go back to September of 2017:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baltimore Jones
Have a little situation. Five dates - the 4th was just at her place, not "all the way" because she had to drive a couple of hours late that night.
Going into the 5th there was little doubt there would also be a 6th. Dinner, good, new place dessert, good, new place another drink, still good. Talking and physically affectionately acting like I'm her bae. No question we're good.
Then she wants to take a selfie together in the restaurant we were drinking at. I'll do this type of thing sometimes, but wasn't crazy about it at a nicer quiet place. Still, I attempted it. I'm not photogenic and am bad at posing properly in photos, and so we didn't really get a good one. I was kinda tired of trying to get a perfect one after a few minutes and figured that would be the end of it, but she was very put off. I pressed her on her attitude and she said I'm a "buzzkill" (presumably referring to things such as she dances and I don't, she likes to club and I don't, she'll make a scene with selfies and I'm less likely to, etc.).
It was basically a near-complete shutdown by her after that. I walked her home a few blocks, there was some kissing etc. but not the way it had been (we'd had excellent physical chemistry before, like about as good as it gets IME, and she did verbally confirm the chemistry).
I think a "regular" long-term monogamous relationship is not in the cards due to our differences (though you never know), but there are certainly other arrangements that could be made and/or I'd like to continue dating her casually.
No contact since I got in the Lyft Thursday night.
What's the play? I considered sending her 1-3 of the selfies which imo came out ok (the original plan was I would send her them), but have not done so and lean against now. I think it's going to be no contact on my end until at least Wednesday (so about 6 days from the date), then perhaps I'll give it a shot (though I think if it goes that long w/o her reaching out, it's probably over). Leaving it alone IME can be extremely effective, and I wouldn't be surprised to get a v friendly text from her out of the blue in the next few days if I stand pat.
I'm also interested in how you people would handicap me seeing her romantically again. Like, late on the 5th date it was 80-90%. Does it really go down to 30% based on one bad 30 minute stretch, or am I overreacting? It's possible she was just exhausted and had to pee (she said she did) and so she wasn't as affectionate for 30 minutes.
I guess gun to my head I say I see her again and it's like 55%. It's really close.
(I've also had multiple instances with this one where I thought I was DOA for whatever reason but was totally fine.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo
BJ: Haha, it sounds like you have exactly the same response as I would to a girl who acted like that, and I'd also want to at least turn it into some fbw relationship, but in reality I just couldn't get myself to act like the idiot she needs. And I don't think you'll be able to either. Should have slept with her on date 2 or 3, just forget about it now! Instead, maybe we can get together for some Matt Damon movies?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeyorefora
Yeah, pretty much standard that she drops to a FWB, or just friend zone.
Dropping her is also possible.
Maybe she reaches out, apologizes and you can go on, everyone has a bad day, maybe it was a one off.
But let her reach out first, IMO
Sent from my LG-LS997 using Tapatalk
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChipWrecked
BJones,
I would let her make the next contact. My estimation that will happen is around 10% probability.
Sorry bro it happens.
She sounds like the kind of person I'd find a PITA to be around anyway and I suspect after the sting wears off you will feel that way too.
Next.
I did not wind up texting her again after the selfie date, as I did not want the explicit rejection to actually happen and felt she likely would have reached out if she was still really feeling it. I also justified it somewhat by telling myself I could give it another shot some weeks/months down the line and that the future chances would remain higher if I left it dangling.
We were still friends on IG and it was apparent that she got a bf soon after that.
That relationship appears to have ended in late 2018.
Last Sunday I sent a text with a photo of a mini golf score card we played (she beat me), with the word "Rematch".
I thought I was an underdog for this to work, but it worked. We're going out tomorrow.
Neither the selfie incident nor our mutual ghosting has been addressed.
That thread page is a goldmine of BJ posts, including Matt Damon, SF movie theater, and STD information.
