This is funny, I matched with 2 girls on Bumble recently (first time I've ever used it) who are probably the 2 fittest girls I've ever matched with. It's almost like Bumble has some algorithm to stack them precisely based on body fat %.

Krunic,


You should ignore anything mlylt suggests about dating and relationships.

Krunic,

You should ignore anything mlylt suggests

Krunic,

It might be odd for a woman to be trolling Craigslist hookups and willing to indulge an un-experienced guy just to give him some confidence, but if I've done it then other women must also and you have a chance.

Our experiences shape our views and actions. My experience is knowing a few really amazing guys whom just lacked the confidence, a little awkward/uncomfortable in their own skin, had suppressed upbringings that resulted in delayed or no experience with women. Get a class of late 20's, mostly homeschooled, southern guys that grew up in the Bible belt and 50%+ have no experience with women and are in the same boat you are.
Because of knowing these guys, I'm always more than willing to look past a little awkwardness and nervousness to find out who a person is. Yeah I'm a little weird, but there are other women that are a little weird too, and maybe they are who you need to build your confidence and get some experience. And there's a good chance you might find them on Craigslist.

krunic,

This, specifically, is why you should usually ignore MLYLT's advice on relationships/sex/etc. Her experiences, and her views, are very atypical, and the advice she tends to give in these situations is advice that would work on her/for her, but doesn't say much about how it would work on a typical/average/normal lady, which is something she historically has had a hard time seeing.

Krunic is not typical/average/normal and his situation isn't either. I'm suggesting he take an atypical approach because of atypical situation.

Yeah he could spend time blasting first responses, swiping every girl, having some self reflection after he doesn't get responses, fix his mistakes, get responses, set up dates..... But that's where it ends. He needs to build confidence first and then proceed with the above;you aren't moving past a first date without confidence.

Heh...yea this is no good for me at all. But if they're sorting this well, then if they gave non-typical options somehow it could be ideal...

Swiping every girl will end up getting him to the bottom of the barrel if I read that one article right.

But I guess you gotta start somewhere?

Oh how I love Seinfeld. A lot of wildly outdated antics technology takes care of these days but still funny AF

What one article?

I don't even remember cause it was something that came across Facebook feed a few weeks ago. But the gist of it was the more you add to the pool of options that never pan out because of left swipes, the more heavily it weighs towards those that do. It doesn't realize you're just swiping right on everyone because if it did, it would effectively make whatever algorithm they do use totally worthless and they might as well show everyone everyone in their defined radius.

I think that what M is trying to say is that while you will most likely land some scruffy dude in a wig, there's also a chance you meet someone like M so go for it.

It may even be worth considering calling up one of the high end brothels in Vegas. They likely have playbooks and instructional video **** for their girls for guys like krunic.

What do you mean "that's where it ends"? That's where what ends? I'm perfectly comfortable talking to women. All my friends are women. The thing I have the least anxiety/ most confidence about in terms of dating is talking to a woman on a date. I'm far more comfortable talking to women than men.

I have less confidence about my ability to get a woman to be initially attracted enough go on a date with me. I have zero confidence in my ability to get a woman to have an orgasm.

I have low self esteem and zero dating experience, but I do have some dignity. Your idea of me begging for pity sex on CL is idiotic and a little insulting. If the best I could do with that is get an overweight unattractive middle aged woman with god knows what kind of mental illnesses to feel sorry for me, take on a creepy pseudo-motherly role and have creepy pity sex with me, then that's a definite no.

The term "trigger" is thrown around a lot these days, but sometimes it's real and has a legit usage. This would be one of those times. The only vagina I've seen irl is my overweight middle-aged mother's, involuntarily, when I was a small child, as she explained to me the female genital anatomy and how sex works. Your idea is that I should essentially recreate the scenario that made me not want anything to do with sex for 30 years in order to cure my anxiety and boost confidence. This is probably the worst possible thing I could do.

Your mistake is assuming that because you knew some other guy(s) who hadn't had sex at age 30 or whatever, that I must be exactly like them and have not had sex for the exact same reasons. This is not a correct assumption. Sexual behavior was not suppressed in my home growing up, it was literally shoved in my face at an inapropriate age. The strategy for how the guys you knew should work through their anxiety issues is not going to be the same as for me, obviously.

First off, I didn't say anything about creepy sex or anyone taking on any type of creepy motherly role. I understand that that scenario is what you are envisioning because of your experience and is your only reference though. I never slept with any of those guys or had pity sex, but I have built guys confidence through sex and other ways........it's most certainly not done by being motherly.

And....
"If the best I could do with that is get an overweight unattractive middle aged woman with god knows what kind of mental illnesses to feel sorry for me,"

**** You.

I think you'd be surprised at how superficial women actually are. They swipe right/left likely just as much as guys. Its just their dirty little secret they don't like to talk about since they like to pretend a superior point of view. Literally all dating is superficial at the outset. But how you perceive your own looks isn't remotely how the opposite sex does, at least visually. If you start downplaying your looks in person and it comes across as not jokingly then that'll influence their mental attraction.

Which goes back to why you should have those female friends pick the pictures to use and have them tell you WHY they are picking it.

This is literally every guy their first time so...this is normal. The "trick" is to not overly worry about it as you'll end up doing exactly what they don't want - jumping from technique to technique when rhythm is way more important and this goes for oral and PIV.

lol ok, you tell yourself whatever you want.

It really doesn't matter how you would interpret the scenario, it matters how I interpret the scenario, because I'm the one we're talking about.

The point is that your advice is terrible despite how experienced you are. It's like how Boris Becker is a terrible tennis commentator. Wisdom usually comes with experience, but not always. So just stop trying to give me advice.

Also if you could keep your idiotic uneducated snarky comments out of my H&F log that'd be great. You have a toxic personality and need help.

What’s with all the MLYLT hate? Her advice is bizarre and should be disregarded, but it seems like she genuinely means well by it.

Krunic,

Have you read The Rosie Project? It most likely won’t help your dating game, but it’s my favorite book this year. A very fun read about a professor who is completely inept at romance

Krunic,
I was just trying to help.

I don't remember writing anything idiotic or uneducated in your log. I made a joke about the weights just being playful and gave you a compliment. Literally the only things I have ever posted in your log. Calling me toxic and my personality toxic seems a little extreme from what I posted, but I understand you might be in some emotional distress at the moment and may have been triggered by my suggestion/advice.
Per your request I'll stay clear of your log.

Good luck working through your issues and finding happiness.

I’ve heard this observation before, and I’ve always doubted it. How can you formulate the underlying thought without language? And if so, why can’t you articulate that?

Perfect precision can be dicey, but general themes or problems are not, IMO.

CJD is not code. I know this gentleman live.

MLYLT’s posts ITT are fine.

Krunic, the advice to find a sex therapist is IMO solid.

Sex and our views of it are highly individual. Pity sex is not necessarily creepy, although it can be. It can also be an expression of connectedness and empathy from a woman that understands you’re in a difficult and somewhat unusual spot.

Fossilkid,

Mexico City is legit an arguable top-10 city in the world. Coyoacán is a super cool neighborhood and the food basically anywhere in the city is amazing. Enjoy.

Thanks Clark. I understand it will probably be a polarizing city, but based on what I like in a city I think I will love it.

Already got an all-day date in Coyoacán set up for the first Saturday after I arrive with a girl I've been chatting with through a language exchange site!