This is true.

Second date went relatively well. We shared a kiss at the end.

As far as personality goes she's great; the only issue is I feel we're lacking in the sexual chemistry department

To backtrack a second, could you tell me what was silly about the final text? Was it the idea of a final text, or was it the actual content of what I said? I thought the idea at least was ok, rather than leave things hanging making it seem like I'm forever expecting a response. But I'm open to being wrong.

It only seems like you were expecting a response to you. She was out. So, multiple texting at all was a bad look.

But, that's OK, you're in the game. That's what counts. Have to get dinged up some, to learn how dating works.

No matter how long you've been seeing each other. She wants to answer, she will. If she doesn't, silence on your part is always the play.

N,

She already made it abundantly clear to you she had no interest in responding. You knew that, and she knew you knew that.

You didn't send the final message to make sure she knew you got it and so she wouldn't have to be worried about what you'd do. The best thing to accomplish that would have been to just let it go. But you sent that message hoping m she would finally see how much you get it and how much you truly care about her, and she'd finally respond to you - either now or in the future.

It's ok, I've done sillier stuff than that. Just try and resist the urge next time.

Stop being a *****.

Good looks

So I was attempting to leave the door open by closing the door, and didn't even realize it at the time. Good hand me, well played

N,


Exactly. But nbd dude, this one was already over. Now you know better for next time.

Next time, cut it off as soon as you get the rude/dismissive behavior from her instead of begging for her engagement/validation/interaction. No need to either send her a reasoned message to try and show how nice you are or a bitter message to try and get the upper hand. Just forget about it and move on with your life, having fun with considerate people who care. Once you're able to do that, you'll be surprised how many girls reach back out to you after a few weeks. It's just hard not to throw out that feeler yourself first, I know!

+1

Online dating is a helluva lot like poker.

Most are undateable/unplayable.

Occasionally you see a flop/first date. Then fold. Or she does.

The further into a hand you get, the harder it is to lose. But you can't let yourself go on tilt.

Then about the time you start asking yourself what the **** you're doing this for, this will never work, I should spend my time doing something more meaningful... voila, you drag a nice pot and then you're hooked again.

And never ever tip your hand or give out information needlessly.

All, have you ever suffered from lack of confidence? Feeling you're unworthy of a relationship due to education, income, negative personality traits, etc?

No, I'm sure that no one here, on this Internet poker forum, who posts on the thread about Online Dating, has ever, once, had any doubts about themselves, or lacked self confidence in any way ever. Quite sure of this actually.

People in general are not insecure at all and lacking in self confidence. It's the human condition

Literally everyone has an insecurity of some kind that hits their confidence if they dwell on it.



If you took away Blizerian's money he's probably riddled with them.

I like the concept of online dating, it's so easy. No wondering if that girl across the bar has a boyfriend, or if that girl at the grocery store will be offended if you try to initiate something. I've toyed a few times with okcupid and tinder and had zero success. It's so disheartening to write well thought out messages and feel like you're throwing a bottle into the sea because any girl who is halfway attractive has a flooded inbox. I'm probably slightly above average looking and can write sort of decent, I still feel like I have no shot on those sites and it's a waste of time. It's a rather small population in my area though, probably about 200 girls on OKcupid at any given time within 5 years of my age either way within 25 miles, and I'm attracted to maybe 70 of them.

AM.... If you are lacking sexual chemistry then politely tell her this and move on. That is self-confidence. (Women are much better at this than us guys FYI although I suspect we are much happier to stick it in with no connection just because Sex)

Self pity and esteem issues are rife but you can get a long way by letting it go... If she's not right she's not right, do the right thing (even if it feels harsh) by being honest with yourself and her... I promise you this will make you feel better about yourself long term... You will be making the decision not her, and that's massive for confidence

El D is killing it here. His advice is excellent.

You like the idea but not the practice?

I don't really like the idea, probably because I always had to do it old school ("nice shoes, wanna ****?), cause no Tinder back then.

But it's most likely a necessary part of living today to have some social media part of the dating process.

Even if you meet in real life they want to Facebook, Instagram,etc.

I used to do like you, write something specific for the person I was reaching out to on a dating site, only to have nothing come from that.

My suggestion is to hone down a witty line or two and just use them, because quite frankly, most people are just looking at the pictures.
If they don't like what they see, they move on.

At least in real life you have a better shot of injecting your personality and creating interest.



Sent from my LG-LS997 using Tapatalk

Post the last three messages you have sent.

+1
don't waste your time writing detailed individual messages
it's a numbers game

Like, "I'm going to Whole Foods, want anything?" Aziz writes that to every Tinder match in Master of None.

I deleted or disabled my Okcupid account and don't even remember the username off hand, it's been a couple months since I last gave it a go. I just meant, I read their entire profile, acknowledge commonalities, and ask open-ended questions about things on it. That's all.

That's what I figured "well thought out" meant. It's hard to tell without seeing the messages but I suspect your openers are too long and too boring.

"Acknowledging commonalities" is fine (and ignore the previous posters, writing something generic on OKCupid is not your best option) - did your messages look a bit like this?

"Hey hawtgrrl93! I was reading your profile and we have a lot in common. I too like Game of Thrones, Quentin Tarantino and Mexican food. Did you like The Hateful Eight? And what is your favourite flavour of taco?"

Something like that, which I suspect is roughly accurate makes you sound really boring and won't get many replies.

Not to start a gender war (I think I'm safe on 2+2), but I think the supply and demand of online dating really makes it terrible for men, at least ones not near the biggest of big cities. The onus isn't on women in real life to initiate, how do they meet men, go outside. If it's relativey easy IRL, why would they waste time with online dating? So, you have this surplus of men trying to meet women the easy way, but it turns out it's not that easy, because it's a sausage fest.

I'm not that generic though. More like, "You're learning Spanish? That's cool. I play with Duolingo sometimes and retained a little, but all the words I've learned so far have to do with greetings and eating apples. So, I think I could hold my own as long as I'm at a Mexican apple orchard." If that's not clever, I don't know what the **** is, just put me in a ditch and bury me alive.

You probably haven't seen my diatribe on this,but I put forward the theory that not top tier women are getting an overly inflated sense of value due to the ease of using date apps.

It then bites them on the ass when they can't get any,either they have gotten older or have run thru their choices .

Then they become the ones complaining in real life that they can't get a man or a decent date,whereas if they had actually been more receptive to men that were attracted to them,they'd have been better off.

But they spent their time chasing unicorns and one nighters.



Sent from my LG-LS997 using Tapatalk