Probably the best post about the feelings dimension so far.

And, as always, LOL MLYLT.

Now Dom...this is their last chance for mommy and daughter to have "me" time before they're stuck with Dale for the rest of their lives. What better way to spend it going to an expensive city across the pond during the most expensive time of the year to travel?

Moderately responsible adults with 8 year old children don't have $1,000. Yikes. The type of people who have an 8 year old kid and $1,000 in the bank, who further go to Paris without telling their SO...yeah. Not ending well here.

But she has an [unspoken] backup plan to cover her expenses. She just hasn't informed him yet.

This is so odd, even without MeDerpYou...how old are the principals in this?

She's 8

Dominic is on point here.

Unfortunately OP, the relationship is not where you thought it was. I can relate....

Plot twist:

She's pregnant with some guy in Paris

And it's their second child together.

1. I feel like one of the best parts of this thread is Dale discovering the magic of Mbabs.

2. Dominic is right.

3. Out of curiosity, why are you marrying this woman anyway? I'm not saying to dump her, but is there any reason you can't just live in your current situation indefinitely. I'm not even saying you're wrong to get married. Just curious more than anything.

Yeah Dom nailed it in this post. Her actions are hugely indicative that she's going to always consider her and the daughter as the main family and you, her, and the daughter as a lesser one. I think you have to decide if you are going to be okay with that or not. Be prepared for the phrase "She's not YOUR daughter" to come up eventually if you stay together.

Credit card stuff is also worrying, you and her should sit down and have a frank discussion about what you both expect finance wise once you get married. There are a couple credit cards out there that offer 0% APR for the first year, maybe try to convince her to get one of those before she goes on the trip.

The lack of self-awareness in MLY's posts ITT is a complete shock to me.

It was nice if you're Woody from Toy Story. Terrace was nice.

770 is decent. How the hell does she have a credit card with an APR a college kid with little credit history would have?

She wasn't always this way.

Is her vibe like it's no big deal because Christmas is no big deal, or what?

Wtf is this mother/daughter memories bull****? She's 8-years-old. Literally next to worthless to take her to Europe for a week. Have OP dress up like Santa and give her 20 presents is what she really wants. Take her to Europe when she can appreciate it more.

ofc it's nuts to take an 8yo to Paris, we all know that.

The memories aren't for the little girl, they are for the mom. DYE woman, bro?

mom is going to do her thing and OP is going to pay for it. c'est comme ça.

I think the issue is how she is doing it. For me it would be REDDEST flag that SO has nothing to say for her Christmas plans. It is like really really really off. And 24% credit card debt is plain dumb. I mean... it is plain asking for troubles.

I would totally rethink the relationship and absolutely 100% use some kind of premarital counselling

Just cheat while she's gone. You will feel better.

What Dom said. LOL at everyone saying Dale's overreacting, he's a man, blah blah. This is the real world.

Also, what Dids said re: Josie being single.

I'm 41 and she's 31.

I think it's safe to say the wedding is on hold for now.

IDK about the card. Like I said, she's never carried any debt except for a car loan and student loan. Maybe she got the card in college and the rate never adjusted? Really have no idea.

I honestly am not sure what her "vibe" was. Have been in a bit of a fog, which is why I think I just need some time to calm down and reflect. As I said, Christmas is a big deal for her. I think she told me via texts that she didn't see why this was so big. "There will be other vacations and Christmases." I think that was a response to asking if this was a one off are are we now doing separate vacations.

I mean, I used to go to Biloxi every 2-3 weekends. It was nice to get out of the **** hole town I live in and the extra money was nice. I haven't gone in three years. I've completely redone my work schedule to spend the afternoons running around with the little girl. I don't mind any of the sacrifices I've made because that's what you do for the people you love. It just hurts to feel like I'm somehow being pushed aside. Like I said, I need some time to calm down and reflect.

Dominic,

Thanks for your posts. They have been heard. I just need some time to cool down, reflect, reread this thread in a few weeks, and figure some things out. I do appreciate everyone's input.

This!

Biloxi sounds cool and I know Vegas is cool. Treat yourself.

I agree with the bolded.
I think most people would be hurt but I'm weird so personally I wouldn't remotely give a ****.I really don't care about holidays or when I'm supposed to do things. If I was dating a woman who had a kid I'd be fine with them taking a trip together when school is out even if it happened to be over Christmas.

I would however never get in a relationship with someone who sucked with money.

Was reading a portion of that old thread and I was laughing and thinking of how big a deal I made of things and now couldn't care less and it was all a waste of mental energy.

The trip is only 8 days. You have been together 3 years. It's not the end of yall's future together or shouldn't be. Don't dwell on it for months and just accept it's happening and be happy they get some time together and you get some good alone time. You have every other day of the year to be together and be a family.