I highly doubt she is planning a mother daughter trip to cheat on Dale.

She just booked the tickets. Still feeling at a loss to understand it but I didn't really feel like spending Christmas with her anyway after all this. I might actually go to Vegas. Or at the very least spend a few nights in Biloxi, which is only a three hour drive.

So she literally has $1,000 and is going on a $5k vacation?

LOOOOOOL RUN FORREST RUN

Poor dale.

Lol. Like I said, I don't mind spending Christmas alone. I'll make myself a big dinner and drink some Oban in front of the fire. It will be nice. I just don't understand her excluding me from Christmas. I suspect she would go ape **** if the roles were reversed.

Still have no idea what to make of it and will continue to try to process it and evaluate our relationship.

You don't really feel like spending Christmas with her when the "supposed" reason you are mad in the first place is because you weren't spending Christmas with her. Lolol
You sound like a big baby that didn't get his way and really immature. How old are you by the way?

Be upset about the finances or whatever, but happy that she gets to spend this time with her daughter- the person that was there before you, whose heart beat she felt and listened to in her stomach. Her daughter only has so many years of childhood and special memories to gather from it.

She's right, you should just be happy and thankful that she wants to spend that time with her daughter instead of with a man (like you or code).

Haha... nothing at all to do with him.

This is a re-gifting of what El D and I tried to give you.

Getting the smack down from mbabs. Does it get any lower?

You have zero credibility in giving familial advice. None.

What is wrong with you? How could it be fun if I felt like I was coercing her to be there?

Yep

This from the person who couldn’t handle brother and sisters going to basketball games. JFC.

Link?

Show this post to her

To be fair, one of my best trips to Paris was in February...so I can see having a blast there. Just not with an 8 r. old.

I don't understand how someone can have fun on a trip knowing they are going home to high interest debt.

Starts here and probably continues for a few hundred posts. Main basketball story starts post 120

Putting ~$4k on cc when she has 1k in the bank is troubling, but if it's a one-off, ok.
The wish to spend a week in Paris with her daughter, odd, but not out of line.

What seems to be troubling OP the most is that the finance made plans for a trip to Europe without consulting him at all, pretty much letting him know where he stands in the relationship.

He picks up her daughter after school. They are getting married. They own a home together. They are a family.

And she has decided she's going to go to Paris for a week over Xmas, without him. She didn't bring it up as a possibility, she didn't suggest an alternative to include him at all - she basically planned this behind his back.

This is not how families act. What makes OP think this kind of behavior will stop once they're married?

If my GF of five years treated me so cavalierly, it would be over. And we don't even live together. Every decision I make that might affect her in any way, I discuss with her. And she does the same. We are careful with each others' feelings, because, really, what else is there?

oh you can, if you're single and have only yourself to take care of.

Omg don't bring up the basketball game again. That whole thing dragged out so long and everytime they fought she brought it up again I'm still not quite recovered from it all.

MLYLT,


You are totally misreading the situation. Perhaps if you had ever been in a well-functioning relationship you'd understand why. But since that's not the way things are, you should just believe me.

Holy ****.

We've got a few threads for you to read, maybe save them for the break?

I see that there's still lots of talk about feelings, which is all well and good and certainly relevant when it comes to whether OP should continue his relationship with his fianceé.

But let's not lose sight of the one objective thing we can use to evaluate whether this trip is prudent: fianceé doesn't have the money for the trip.

It could be informative for OP to just say "enjoy" and see if she actually digs herself out of the debt. If she ends up paying it back without issue, then he knows she's reliable (albeit certainly more emotionally distant than he thought originally). If she does anything other than paying it off without issue, he knows to cut her loose.