LOL is a baller.


grunch

OP the fact in itself of spending vacations separate is completely normal. But the stuff around it, and especially that you seem not to have much say in this decision, seems weird to me.

So you were in Paris for six weeks. She went for two and loved it.

This math isn't hard. She wants to go again, doesn't want to ask family to watch her kid, and feels entitled bc you were already there for a long duration solo. The child not being yours adds extra layers too (vis a vis her relationship to her and how she still wants to prioritize it, separate from you in some ways).

The fact that it's Paris could also be that it's a spot she feels she can argue you don't need to be included, so again she can get that one-on-one time. Would be harder to explain a Christmas vacation with her daughter to any other location (even domestically) and excluding you without similar history.

Seems unlikely. We were together the whole time save one morning. And we were traveling most of the time. It also would seem wierd to take an 8 yo on a sex fest trip. I

If it matters we are both very familiar with Paris and have made numerous trips there/have lived there. We both speak French fluently and have to go at least every few years for work.

lol and the kid's never been?

This would be like me making a thread where I asked if it was weird that my wife wanted to go to some small town in Missouri for the holidays.

Some time later I may let you all know it's where her family lives.

The last time she went the girl was only three and this time she was only 8. We both said next time she would come which is probably in 4 or 5 years.

We go every 4 to 6 years. It's not like we have family or friends there or anything.

Classic OOT advice thread so far.

So OP, now that you've gotten a bunch of advice, what are you going to do about it?

I'll express my concerns and go from there. I'm not sure there's anything to do per se. I think I'll suggest a trip closer to home like Disney world for just the two of them between Christmas and New years and see how she reacts. I think the little girl will have more fun there anyway. She'll save a ton of money and we can spend Christmas together. That seems reasonable right?

We're driving distance from Orlando.

This has red flags all over it.

Yes. Very reasonable. And if you do it with right tone (matters a lot) it is really good line. You mustn't sound jelly of mom-daughter time.

And I'm not. Like I said a few days to myself sounds great to me. The fact that we will certainly take at least a couple trips to Europe with the girl makes this even more perplexing to me.

She's on the phone with her mother now but I'll report back in a bit.

I'm not supporting the plan. I'm supporting her wanting to take a special trip with her daughter and him not being butt hurt about it.

No, she shouldn't rack up CC debt but if she works it's her choice if their accounts are separate. (I don't get the whole shared finance situations and there would be just no way in hell anyone would tell me how to spend my money)

My mother daughter trip with an 8yr old would probably be going to the space station, a day at American doll, a few days camping together, going to see special kids shows, Lego Land....stuff like that. So I don't really see the necessity for her to take her daughter to Paris at 8 either.

This. The OP sounded super jelly of her wanting them to be together without him.

Not sure how you got that. My concern is that she doesn't seem to think spending Christmas together as a family is important. I thought we were a family and we've always refered to ourselves as a family. I was hurt by the idea of not doing Christmas as a family. I'm not sure if I have a right to feel that way which is why I made this thread.

Yes, you do. It's not a good sign.

Lol. Every couple of posts, you add new information that changes the equation.

Nothing can be trusted in this thread. Other than doing the exact opposite of whatever mbabs says.

Obviously. I said usually. And in this case, looks like I was correct

If what you are claiming is actually true, you should have no problem verifying it by correctly answering this question - which flavor of La Fermière yogurt is the best one?

It’s Citron. You don’t have to live in France to know that. (But living close to a Carrefour helps)

Does the daughter speak French at all?

No offence OP, but you are like a poker player who occasionally played for a couple years in his local casino for fun and then one day decides to ask a question about a hand he played last night in a poker forum. As he has no concept of proper poker fundamentals the partly conflicting answers he gets will often confuse him even more or leave him in a state where he things he has learnt something when in fact he has not.

The problem is you have no proper concept of female psychology. This is very common, only few men do. I did not until after the time I turned forty.
It's not a lack of experience, it is a lack of knowledge, in fact even worse: having been fed wrong information your whole life.

Take your time and search for resources on the subject, there are very good ones out there. Read, think, learn, apply in your life, search some more, repeat. It's not rocket science, but you need to be willing to question everything you think you know. And if you do this it will eventually shatter a part of your reality. It is not pretty, but it is truth and knowledge that will be extremely helpful to you further on.

Just stay away from the mainstream stuff (e.g. search result on amazon) and do not listen to women on the matter unless once you are sure that you have acquired a good basic understanding.

Sounds like you're holding out on us itt