Yea I knew they were different girls. It seems you got the right idea you just come across as very nice and forgiving so I thought you might go above and beyond. Don't feel guilty for breaking off with her, she already has done that on her own.

Your name may be dale but she saw you as a mark.

I think you are vastly over-estimating how much this is going to affect the daughter.

Better be sure to make future contributions to a separate college trust account that the mom can’t access.

Damn. That hurts just to read it. The toughest part will be the break from the child. After a few years you'll look back at this breakup as one of the best decisions you ever made.

Unsolicited advice follows: Do not be as kind, understanding, generous, apologetic, and forgiving during the division of assets as you have been during the past couple of years with the relationship. If she senses weakness, she will likely push the limits.

Do not enter into a formal agreement to support the little girl or fund her education. You may do this as you wish as time goes on, of course. Do not commit to it legally in case you change your mind later. (A friend of mine did that voluntarily as part of his divorce several years ago. He and his current wife are terribly bitter about how it has worked out as "his kid" has changed so much over the years due to his ex- and her string of "friends.")

You served your time being kind and understanding. This is the time to protect yourself and your assets. That doesn't mean you have to be cruel--just cautious and self-preserving.

Go to a therapist for a few months before agreeing to any of that.

wait why do you have to give her anything if you arnt married?

im confused. id give her 0% of everything i own, including the house, and thats being generous.

are you exceedingly wealthy and this wont bother you? even still LUL.

btw, if there's any question about why she is the way she is (which blindsided you and was so confusing), here you go:


She's white trash bro.

Takes one to know one, I guess.

Good last few posts

Sucks bro but don't let yourself get mugged off even more than you already have been. This kind of **** tilts me like nothing else.

If you're wondering what mugged off I **** you not this is what it says in urban dictionary.

I believe you can start a 529 for the kid if you want, that way you can contribute to her future, but the mother will be unable to touch the money.

Brutal. That poor kid.

The kid will be fine. Seriously.

you're gonna reread this in a few years and wonder wtf you were thinking. don't give her once cent. don't spend all day helping her move or pay for her move.

if you want to buy the girl presents for christmas or her birthday that's fine- but you buy them and give them to the girl.but don't give your ex money.

Huge +1 to last posts. Do whatever you want to help the girl (who yes, as someone posted above, will 100% be fine) but 0000's otherwise

Dale,

This sucks to hear of course but it isnt surprising at all.

Time to listen to OOT.

Do not give her anything except what she is legally entitled to. If you want to support the daughter at all you do it on your own terms with no access from the ex.

Obviously give $0 to this woman. She has done nothing but use you for money, lie to you cheat on you and generally be a horrible person. People like this - she likely has a personality disorder at an absolute minimum - gravitate towards "nice guys" like you.

If you want to help the girl, fund a 529 that you control. Under no circumstances should you give your ex control of any money.

Congrats on getting out Dale.

You are making the right decision imo, and the financial advice upthread is sound. Also, as always:

This, JFC. I know VERY few people that had a good upbringing on paper.

so I just read OP and posted this.

no way in hell they are still together right


edit* read last page, theyre not

This is worse than manbearpig. Good luck.

...and then we had sex

Listen to this man. Also agree with others that the kid will be fine. You're overthinking everything. Breathe.....