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Is this odd? Spending Christmas Vacation Apart

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01-06-2019 , 01:37 PM

#576

dalerobk2

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,570

Quote:

Originally Posted by DodgerIrish

Lol

Quote

01-06-2019 , 02:18 PM

#577

dth123451

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 15,502

Dude. Imagine this person in 20 years. Come on.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 04:12 PM

#578

spidercrab

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 3,206

FWIW, I showed the most recent post to mrs. spidercrab. (mrs. spidercrab was with me when I broke my back, called 911 for an ambulance, and had to deal with me being bedbound while she was pregnant.)

She is convinced that dale's most recent story, as written, can't be true - she believe it has to be really embellished/biased. But that if it is, marriage is a bad idea. Then I showed her the first post of the thread and she updated her view to say that it seems like she (the fiancee) seems like she's looking for a surrogate parent and doesn't seem very interested in actually being dale's wife.

Seems pretty consistent with other views ITT.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 04:15 PM

#579

dalerobk2

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,570

Quote:

Originally Posted by spidercrab

What does she think is embellished?

Quote

01-06-2019 , 04:18 PM

#580

spidercrab

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 3,206

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalerobk2

What does she think is embellished?

That you could have been in as much pain as she remembers me being in and her seeming completely indifferent to your pain, even after you asked her to drive you to the emergency room.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 04:26 PM

#581

dalerobk2

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,570

Quote:

Originally Posted by spidercrab

That you could have been in as much pain as she remembers me being in and her seeming completely indifferent to your pain, even after you asked her to drive you to the emergency room.

I wouldn't say she was indifferent but she definitely wanted me to try to see how I felt in the morning. She did offer to take me to the hospital right after it happened. I declined and then an hour later told her I needed to go to the hospital at which time she made the comment about being awake for nearly 24 hours.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 04:33 PM

#582

DodgerIrish

Fraudulent Zodiac

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 28,193

Quote:

Originally Posted by spidercrab

That you could have been in as much pain as she remembers me being in and her seeming completely indifferent to your pain, even after you asked her to drive you to the emergency room.

Your wife doesn't understand narcissists.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 05:19 PM

#583

spidercrab

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 3,206

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalerobk2

Ok, this changes things a bit (from my wife's perspective). She can partially see getting frustrated along the lines of, "WTF, I offered to take you an hour ago. Why are you asking now, an hour later, when you know that I'm operating on no sleep?" Considering she did end up taking you, mrs. spidercrab can see it being more of a meaningless offhand "this is irritating" comment, rather than a legitimate non-desire to help you.

She's still not on team fiancee, though.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 05:21 PM

#584

Tom Ames

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Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 45,797

Quote:

Originally Posted by DodgerIrish

Your wife doesn't understand narcissists.

This.

My wife has an unbearably (to me) narcissistic friend whose husband required an ambulance ride to the hospital from their home a few years ago. As they were loading him into the wagon, she told him that she wasn't dressed to go to the ER and that she would be there after she had a shower to see how he was doing.

She related that story to my wife as if it was perfectly normal and acceptable.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 05:28 PM

#585

Rapini

ragging

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 13,096

I had something almost identical happen years ago. The girl I was with had a medical issue, I offered to drive her to the hospital, she refused the offer, and then after I'd been asleep a while she woke me and told me she needed to go to the hospital.

Did I think, "Ugh, I wish we'd have gone when I initially offered"? Yes I did.

Did I say that aloud or offer anything other than sympathy and assistance? No, because I'm not a crazy *******.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 05:35 PM

#586

Didace

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Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 19,890

I also find this

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalerobk2

she did get a bit pissy when I asked her to put my socks and shoes on to go to the doctor's on Friday.

to be a concern. How it actually went down does make a difference, but assuming you can't really bend to do it yourself at this point, I can't imagine even having to ask my wife for help.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 05:35 PM

#587

DodgerIrish

Fraudulent Zodiac

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 28,193

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Ames

As a teen I had to go to the ER twice. Once, my dad ate a bowl of ice cream before taking me. The other, someone else had taken me and he stopped and got some fast food before swinging by.

He left my mom alone in the ER as well, they were a fitting pair tho.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 07:23 PM

#588

Land O Lakes

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Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 7,959

Sounds super trolly; if not, get the **** out (first time I've thought that this thread).

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01-06-2019 , 07:58 PM

#589

microbet

Solar Powered

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 56,720

OP is not exactly asking if he should get married here (and I've hardly read the whole thread), but generally if you have even the slightest inclination to ask anyone if you should get married, the answer is no.

Quote

01-06-2019 , 11:51 PM

#590

whatthejish

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Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 9,974

Feels fake as **** after the last update. Either dale's bored or he's actually about to marry a future ex-wife.

Quote

01-07-2019 , 12:59 AM

#591

JayTeeMe

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Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 29,410

I'm gonna go all Walter Sobchak here and say that 'possible strep' = Jean-Louis showed up with gonorrhea and was all like 'we can still do this but you need to come up with an excuse to get on antibiotics when you get home'.

Quote

01-07-2019 , 12:59 AM

#592

DodgerIrish

Fraudulent Zodiac

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 28,193

Stemming from an unrelated thread, I read through the WVU thread and was caught off guard to see Dale's input.

He knows what's up and what the trade-off is. She reminds me of my first ex. I'd probably begrudgingly accept her in his situation, she was bad news early tho. Pardon the pun, but it's borderline if it's +ev in his spot tbh.

The sex and trade-0ff of the potential gamble of not finding anyone else to reside with him that he finds attractive, makes this all understandable. He knows this tho (it's why he takes all the ribbing in stride).

Quote

01-07-2019 , 01:09 AM

#593

THAY3R

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Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 36,550

Had my heart broken by this girl named Tammy
But hoes gonna be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy

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01-07-2019 , 02:15 AM

#594

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Quote:

Originally Posted by DodgerIrish

I knew who OP is from the MichaelScarn (rip) thread.

Not sure why people think the last update is fake. Does it seem just too ridiculous to be real? Pretty lolsy obv, but would be some boring trolls.

Quote

01-07-2019 , 07:07 AM

#595

LektorAJ

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Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 7,826

Quote:

Originally Posted by Didace

I also find thisto be a concern. How it actually went down does make a difference, but assuming you can't really bend to do it yourself at this point, I can't imagine even having to ask my wife for help.

Last month I translated an academic paper all about family members caring for relatives with Alzheimer's, which can be a pretty horrendous way to spend all day every day. That's the way it ends up at lot of the time and it's pretty clear she's going to bail if it's you that needs a carer before she does. Don't marry her.

Also the general emotions you feel after separation for so long are a good guide. And I mean the ones you really feel, not the ones you think you should feel. She didn't miss you basically and is annoyed you're around and needing something. You're being exploited here and can do better.

Quote

01-07-2019 , 09:28 AM

#596

dalerobk2

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,570

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatthejish

Feels fake as **** after the last update. Either dale's bored or he's actually about to marry a future ex-wife.

I am pretty bored after laying on a sofa for a week, but everything itt is true.

Quote

01-07-2019 , 09:35 AM

#597

dalerobk2

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,570

Quote:

Originally Posted by DodgerIrish

I vaguely remember that thread, but I'm not sure what exactly you're referencing. Also, didn't he end up OD'ing and dying?

Quote

01-07-2019 , 09:36 AM

#598

sumey

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,815

Dale from what you're posting ITT it seems like she really does not have your back. You should seriously consider your future with this person, and it sounds like you have a lot of time to think about it.