At the age of 11 or so in the early 90’s my best friend and I at the time were playing Earl Weaver Baseball. Epic game for its time. Very stats oriented and numbers based which made it very appealing. Whenever someone would hit a homerun it would tell you the distance. Usually it would be anywhere from 350–415 feet or so, that was generally the norm. It was extremely rare to see anything well over 400. One day we decided to run with the old all time teams. Mickey Mantle come to the plate in a simulation we were watching and proceeded to jack one out of the old Yankee Stadium. When it displayed the distance to us, it said 638 feet. We had never even seen anything above 430. We just looked at each other and laughed our asses off for about 10 minutes just howling in laughter. I remember literally rolling on the floor holding onto my sides begging God to make it stop because I could barely breath.
No it was one of the cheap chicken sandwiches from Jack in the Box for 99 cents. Adding insult to injury to the fact the last thing I ever ate was a 99 cent item from a fast food menu is the guy who entered my house on that fateful day was a skinny goofing looking son of a ***** who looked ******ed. He was missing several teeth, his nose was crooked and he was wearing a Cleveland Browns hat.
The trauma from the incident shattered my mind into several pieces, creating several different identities.
Thats why I refer to myself as "we".
How I am still here and reading this remains a genuine mystery, one worthy of philosophical debate and analysis.
My wife thinks I have gone to hell and hell is just getting banned from 2+2 over and over by mods who just hammered your locks, and subsequently a fairly decent looking prostitute on craigslist.
Other people have speculated I am actually the Lock Ness monster and have some kind of dual spiritual existence.
In any case the answers I seek are highly sophisticated and none of you are capable of assisting me in finding them so I kindly ask you to stop with the distracting psychological assaults as I find them to be distasteful and counter-productive.
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I have several wives. They all exist in my shattered dome, just like all of you.
None of you are even real. You are all figments of someones ***** ass imagination.
Read up on the double slit experiment. And no sorry to disappoint you but it is not sexual in nature.
It proves that the world is based on consciousness and observation. In other words if there was no consciousness to observe it, there would be no world.
The implications of such an allegation are truly astounding.