Did you snoop into her medical records as well?

its on the list, we'll get to that, thanks for the reminder!

Your father opened her private mail, shared it with you, you snooped into her personal financial records, your father can't speak about this to his partner of 20 years but has no problem discussing it with you, and you have no problem making it widely known on the internet.

Does that sum things up so far?

ETA:

These are all actions you've taken against a woman you describe as:

Btw Yim I can understand your concerns if it is impacting her financial situation, I'm just not really sure there is an easy answer. It's a difficult situation.

If I'm blowing $100k/year on seriously questionable things in my 70's I really hope somebody in my family gets involved to make sure I'm not being scammed and/or doing really stupid ****.

facepalm.jpg

It's literally Double Down casino and possibly other Facebook games. Play/pay for fun Facebook game applications.

She spent $200K+ on games.



See: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor

t lol at having a 72 year old girlfriend.

We're just getting started!

We'll eventually give you so much canon fodder, you won't be able to leave your basement for weeks, maybe even months...nirvana awaits you!

De cap,

I wasn't aware you designed these types of games as a profession

That comes across as considerably more disturbing than funny considering what you've already admitted to doing.

I wish. I had no idea they were so lucrative. If I was making that type of games and that type of income I certainly wouldn't be wasting my time here trying to defend some innocent lady's civil liberties and right to privacy.

Your dad should move out immediately and stop paying her bills.

So, this is pretty much a standard "looking for advice" thread in OOT.

Why? Everything seems to be fine if you leave out the fact that father and son invaded her privacy. They've been together 20 yrs and presumably it's been an ongoing arrangement that he pays her bills. This situation is unrelated. OP never expressed that they're having any problems other than they found out some financial information behind her back.


Yim,

Do you not see your deflecting and making light of a serious problem along with your invasion of another person's privacy as a problem?

This is a pretty naive suggestion tbh, we're talking about a couple in their 70s who have been together 20 years. Plus yim's dad doesn't seem to want that.

FYP

de captain,

Your posts only make sense if the girlfriend has a massive net worth - otherwise she's in real trouble of bankrupting herself doing this.

Her brokerage account is up +100k in the last 2 years, but without knowing what she's invested in it's tough to know what the total balance is. If she's conservatively invested and worth over 4 million or so this could be ok.

My answer would be the same if she spent $100k a year golfing.

nope

Or She could also have a terminal illness.

Or she could have an agreement with Yim's dad that he'll always take care of her (sounds like that's the current arrangement). Of course that would be distressing for Yim to find out - especially if she's spending money (indirectly) that he hopes to inherit.

Or she could very well have enough net worth that this won't become an issue. If you look at the facts we have a retired accountant who's "lucid, very sharp, and knows what she's doing" on one hand.

On the other hand we have an OP who seems to be flying off the handle, snooping into another person's private business, thinks 100k is a huge sum of money, and can't seem to work out basic internet research.


Yim,

You came here asking for advice. I'm sorry you don't like some of what you're being told. Perhaps if you post your financial records here OOT can advise you on how to be as successful as your dad's gf.

Thanks for the info fruit saklad. I had no idea...I actually play a variety of stupid facebook games and realized people were spending a bit on them, but thousands seems so ridiculous for what you get.

Filthy casuals tho

So do you know she spent 200k on online games or not? Retirees spend money on plenty of other things besides gambling.

If her total spending is coming out to 100k per year, and her net worth (based soley on her brokerage acct) is only being decreased by 50k per year she likely doesn't have any problem besides you.

de cap,

I think you’re more right than wrong on your general assessment here, but too many assumptions and not enough info here.

If she has a terminal illness - this would be a nonissue and I assume Yim/his dad wouldn’t care.

She may have an agreement with living arrangements and normal bills but if she goes broke I assume YimDad will not want to be funding 6 figures a year in Facebook games. This could be a problem if she goes broke in 5 years or something it’s unlikely she’ll be able to quit cold turkey. She could also start using more money per year or there could be a broad market pullback that decreases her brokerage account significantly while she’s drawing down a lot to fund her gaming.

I agree the snooping is bad and this is no big deal if she has a big net worth, so perhaps Yim can shed some light there. The focus here should simply be on her spending compared to her overall net worth and her arrangement with YimDad if/when she runs out of money.

Yim - sorry to see you in this spot. Here are a couple of ideas you may wish to consider:

1. Have YimDad apologize to her for looking at her statement, and at the same time ask her if she believes all the charges are valid, as that line item description has been reported hundreds of times as being a scam. He can approach it as "I realize you've been doing some gambling, and that's your business, but I want to make sure that you aren't being scammed by anyone overcharging you at the same time, since so many people have reported that with this charge description". If YimDad approaches this in a non-judgmental and caring manner with his only concern being that she is not being defrauded, you may have some success.

2. Contact the issuing bank for her credit card. Explain the situation, and ask them to look into it and verify the charges are legitimate. Make sure to emphasize her age and your concern that the charges may be fraudulent. Also emphasize that she is a private person and that you would prefer they approach the discussion with her as a normal review of something an algorithm caught, rather than having received a report.

3. If it turns out that the charges are all legit and she is just blowing thru her money, then it's time to decide whether or not to have a discussion with her on that topic. Until you know the charges are legit, best to not bring this up.

OP, you mention Oxycontin a couple of times. It is very unlikely her trigeminal neuralgia is being treated with Oxy or any other opioids since they basically don't work. TG is commonly treated with anticonvulsants.

I did some searching on the mystery transactions and there are indeed several scam reports, but maybe not enough to confirm the actual reference as a scam imo. Some UK government agencies have shown these in their filed accounts and they are always shown as Facebook advertising.

I think she's have had her creditcard info compromised.

The company I work for spends six figures a month on Facebook advertising. The statements so not look like OP's post. Facebook ads accounts have a much longer account number next to that line item. I'm almost 100% positive it's games.