So I was browsing the Erotic Services section of Craigslist earlier today and found a porn star by the name of Lyla Lei. Interesting, I thought. She deleted the post in particular but it was identical to these:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/ers/188556648.html
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/ers/186982233.html

In my efforts to become more like Dominic, I emailed her. In under five minutes I got this response:


So I googled her name for more pictures and found this:
http://www.ladirectmodels.com/girl.php?girl=Lyla%20Lei (NSFW). Not bad.

I then responded:
She then gave me directions and told me she'd call 5 minutes before 1pm. Awesome. I took a shower and headed out.

Traffic was horrendous. I think Los Angeles is the only city where you can be going 65mph one minute and at a complete stop the next. I finally got to the destination around 1:20 and received her call at 1:25. She gave me her address and said she'd meet me downstairs.

Walked over a block and she was there. A 5' tall asian hottie with a real cute smile. She definitely looks better in person and rates about a 9 on my scale. We walked up to to her apt and after I gave her da munniez, she promptly undressed and got on the bed. I followed in suit. I won't give explicit details but the routine went like this: she gave head (average), I fingered her, we went doggy style. Her poose stank like fish and she was terribly loose. I guess I shouldn't have expected more from a porn star.

At some point during doggy, I asked if I could come in her face. When she said it would be an additional $50, I immediately went limp and stopped. I didn't realize she was such a money-grubbing whore. Then, it all went downhill from there. She rode me a bit and gave me a handjob, both of which were rushed and half-assed, and even had the audacity ask me to "help her out a bit." During the handjob, she looked at her watch and said, "If you can't cum in 5 minutes, I have to get back to work." Wtf? Long story short, I came on her teats and got the hell out of there.

In summary, the whole experience was disappointing, dissatisfying and something I never wanna do again. The vibe was terrible, we made no connection whatsoever, and as far as performance, I don't whose was worse: hers or mine (I'm sure she'd say that I was terrible). Besides being really hot, she was nothing special. Two thumbs down.

Handsome - Welcome to LA!

-Al

i can't help but wonder if a five foot tall girl (porno star or not) can really be that loose or if, perhaps, you are that small. just a thought.

kudos for sharing though.

Haha but now you too can offer a new service: hooker review.

Oh, and obviously you've never been to Jersey/Long Island where the traffic is the same but the hair is pointier.

Good story.

You passed on the 30 minutes for $30 deal? At least then you wouldn't have had to be rushed. If you're going to spend the money on a hooker, why not go for maximum value?

I'm pretty sure this happens in every city where people drive cars with brake pedals in them. Also, sorry the woman you paid for sex turned out to be a money grubbing whore.

yesa 5 foot tall girl can be loose and a 6 ft tall girl can be tight. trust me.

Problem is you forgot the blow.

I have bigger boobies than her.

fair enough but my suspicion stands.

Well, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she is.

But whatever happened to customer service?

I LOLed.

Edit to add: Move to BBV?

Actually I'm originally from NYC (Queens), where the highways are 2-3 lanes wide. Here, the highways (called freeways) are 4-5 lanes wide, yet the traffic is still much more frequent. It can literally happen any time of day (I think it's due to everyone deciding to change lanes at the same time), unlike NY/LI/NJ where it mostly happens during rush hour or after an accident.

do you realize just how much this girl gets [censored] by large dicks?

LOL!!!

I just want to declare that buying a hooker in NO WAY makes you any more like me!

There must be some way you can get a refund - at least partial? I am sure if you write to her, she will see how badly she has failed in the "connection area"

Still - not exactly a beat - you paid 250 munniees to [censored] a loose, smelly [censored]. At midday.

And got p0wned by GeniusToad.

seriously, your not a value shopper

Thank you much for posting this despite the possibility that it might expose you to heckling.

I think your dissapointment is justified, not laughable. I have noticed some porn actresses do a much better job of feigning interest/excitement than others. And they are always more attractive beyond physical beauty if they can manage to do this. IMO, you shouldn't be a whore if you can't pretend to have a good time; no one wants to screw someone who's looking at their watch.

Maybe springing for the full hour would have helped with the latter. Also, maybe you should have asked her before you started how much more it would cost for her to pretend she's having sex with someone she likes.

so when are you getting tested?

And she earns every penny

now there's a trip report!