Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down? - Page 10 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

I used to stand, now I sit. I changed because of these threads, did it just to try, but found that I can continue reading if I sit by using my foot to hold the book open

If you stand and get skidmarks, your fkn doing it wrong.

Also never gotten any cleaner sitting than standing, guarantee you that.

but fold/look is a must

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04-14-2010 , 04:54 PM

#228

TheSonOfLiberty

newbie

Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 28

+ 1 for fold/look

side note - ever convinced your done, then get the second burst after you finish wiping? what's the science behind that?

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04-14-2010 , 05:31 PM

#229

JabrielP

old hand

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,603

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kid_Bris

I havent logged onto 2p2 in a few weeks, i google something to do with ass wiping (facebook group (dont ask)) and im sent here...

gold

Not sure whether I should be happy about this or not.

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04-14-2010 , 07:46 PM

#230

gimmetheloot

banned

Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 15,371

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImFromInternet

No one is standing straight up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gin 'n Tonic

Wrong

No, hes quite right. Unless you stand straight up, in which case, wtf mang?

Realize that for at least half the standers, they stand becasue they dont want their hands inside the toilet. Do you really think these people are going to stand straight up so their ass cheeks close and spread **** everywhere?

Like IFI said, its a squat.

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04-14-2010 , 08:04 PM

#231

RudeboyOi

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,119

buying moist toilets or baby wipes is a ridiculous waste of money. just spit in the toilet paper. get tp. wipe dry. toss away. get more tp. spit. wipe wet. fold over. wipe dry. flush and youre good to go.

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04-14-2010 , 08:21 PM

#232

Baltimore Jones

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Quote:

Originally Posted by RikkiDee

To those who use wet wipes as toilet paper... how much of your monthly budget goes into that? $100? Seems a little extravagant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RudeboyOi

I'm hoping that at least Rudeboy is leveling. You generally use only one wet wipe per ****. They are like $2 for 40 of them.

You get rid of the worst of it first with tp, then use a wet wipe, then dry off with regular tp again.

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04-14-2010 , 09:04 PM

#233

RudeboyOi

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,119

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baltimore Jones

im being serious but i think that can be read wrong. what i mean is:

1) first use dry tp to wipe
2) then get more tp and spit in it
3) clean up wiping with the slightly wet tp
4) fold it in half and wipe dry again with unused side

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04-14-2010 , 10:27 PM

#234

Burdzthewurd

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 12,182

Spit: The Devil's Lube. I'll take it and save my $2, thanks!

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04-14-2010 , 10:43 PM

#235

ScreaminAsian

For President

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 33,333

grunch
i'm amazed by this poll

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04-14-2010 , 11:14 PM

#236

wahoo3

veteran

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,805

stander here. i gave sitting a try a while ago and it was really awkward and ******ed. i tried it again maybe a month ago and it went much better. difference between the two is minimal, i still stand though, because why would i bother tilting to the side. it is an extraneous movement. i'm going to stand anyway, might as well get it over with.

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05-11-2010 , 01:44 AM

#237

Smokey_The_Bear

old hand

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,739

bump. lol @ sitting

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05-11-2010 , 02:22 AM

#238

buckyb88

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,940

if you stand, that just means your mom did it for you until you were 16

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05-11-2010 , 04:03 AM

#239

Sober

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,836

Didn't bother to see if it was posted, but this question came up in H&F a while back, with amusing results.

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05-11-2010 , 12:03 PM

#240

Bojangles90

grinder

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 629

Oh, my God. **** everywhere. There's **** everywhere! Damnit! There's **** on the windows! Oh, my God! My house is full of ****! He **** everywhere! Look what he did! He **** all over the walls! There's **** everywhere!

lol but seriously this is the proper technique:

Standing up, bent forward you grab 2 sheets, fold them together, front to back. Then you fold the 2 sheets yet again into half a sheet and go 70% back to front but not fully because then we have a chance of pushing **** from the a-hole to the area between your ass and balls.

Rinse and repeat until satisfaction is reached ldo.

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05-11-2010 , 02:56 PM

#241

gorie

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,473

this is my contribution to making the world a better place. going between the legs to wipe your butt is weird. wipe poop from the back. this thread kind of scares me.

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05-11-2010 , 03:00 PM

#242

imozyslow

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3,026

nice self portrait of gorie pinching a loaf iyam

Quote

05-11-2010 , 03:01 PM

#243

gorie

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,473

look how happy i am.

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05-11-2010 , 03:03 PM

#244

HobbyHorse

Allegedly Attractive

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,223

So...does the rainbow usually appear before or after you've taken a dump, gorie?

Quote

05-11-2010 , 03:04 PM

#245

gorie

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,473

Quote:

Originally Posted by HobbyHorse

So...does the rainbow usually appear before or after you've taken a dump, gorie?

that's what comes out of my butt

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05-11-2010 , 03:06 PM

#246

HobbyHorse

Allegedly Attractive

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,223

Quote:

Originally Posted by gorie

that's what comes out of my butt

Man, now I feel that I've gotten a bad deal. Only unicorns come out of mine...and that horn makes my face go

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05-11-2010 , 03:25 PM

#247

hemstock

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 4,627

Do you have these in the us of a?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

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05-11-2010 , 03:27 PM

#248

SmOkIn AcEs

banned

Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 280

I cant believe this many people stand

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05-11-2010 , 07:29 PM

#249

didonk

veteran

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,750

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmOkIn AcEs

I cant believe this many people stand

^^^ just wow

Quote

05-11-2010 , 08:07 PM

#250

quietstorm

journeyman

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 378

Quote:

Originally Posted by RikkiDee

To those who use wet wipes as toilet paper... how much of your monthly budget goes into that? $100? Seems a little extravagant.

LOL, if you're really that cheap you can easily take some from Chic Fil A, Wegmans, or your favorite wing or rib place. The handy naps are perfect for deucing on the go.

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