morons....do not take the contract....if you didnt take the contract and worked 21 years you would make 999,999 $..if you didnt like it then quit after a year...if you took the contract for that extra dollar and hated it...it would suck for you...use your head

Is this a really old troll account that someone recently revived or something? Or is this guy some sort of POG avatar of mischief and elf-cock that escaped from a werewolf thread to torment OOT?

NT

emigrant direct pays 5.15% currently and will be going up with interest rates

that's 51.5k/year for this 20 minute job

i'd do it and take the 1mil and immediately invest it at 5.15% and then if i decide to quit at any point, i can just withdraw and the interest is my pay

it's $141/day in interest, so that's why i'll get paid for this 20 minute/day job until i get tired of it or miss a day

Fwiw the 5.15% is not garaunteed over any period longer than 3 months (I think).

I guess I'm a bit surprised that more people didn't have something to say about this. I kinda figured a lot of people would have had experience in this line of work, but I suppose I'll offer my perspective.

Was looking for a job in the paper back in the mid 90's when I got laid off, saw a wanted ad for a job that was easy money and short hours, and well, long story short, I've been running boiling oats around in New City for about 9 years.

I'll tell you this. The first couple of months are pretty brutal. Until you figure out how to get a solid grip on the boiling oat bucket, you're going to burn yourself, a lot. And they don't tell you this up front, but you can't wear any protective gear on your hands or arms either. And whoever suggested that wagon thing, yeah, you'd think that would be a good idea, but this guy Bruce tried that one and the supervisors tasered him in the balls. No joke. They try to tell you the supervisors will cut you some slack, but that's just a bait and switch. If you slow down because you burned yourself, or you step more than 2 feet off the line, you're not going home without at least 2 or 3 lashes. And one day, well, I got a pretty bad cramp and slowed down for a few steps. Let's just say, having one of the supervisors knock you down from behind onto a hot bucket of boiling oats is not so great for your skin.

And forget about ever showing up drunk or wearing socks. My buddy Joey did that once. Great guy, he'd put in over 19 years of stellar boiling oat running and was one of the top points-leaders for making supervisor. His dog died one night and he went out and got wasted. He showed up pretty drunk around 4:30, and the supervisors caught on pretty quick. He couldn't keep up with me that day on the oat run, and all I know is that I heard a loud crashing sound from behind me after about half a mile. His funeral was a few days later. I still miss him.

But look, there's a lot of positives. I mean, I'm done working for the day almost every day by 4:45 AM, which leaves me time to go to the doctors for my daily skin grafts and physical therapy from all the third degree burns. And you can definitely play poker afterwards, like Assani suggested, but you'll probably need to get some voice recognition software since your hands might not work so good.

But hey, it's a great job. I'm always looking to get some more people recruited too, so I can make supervisor in 12 years.

Best of luck, Assani. Hope to see you out on the oat run soon!

-BoilingOatRunner

right; it'll go up and down; fine

if it ever dips below what i think the daily amount is worth, then i'll just quit and take the interest


also, since i'm gonna keep my day job, i'm actually gonna make a LOT more than that, since i'll be compounding the interest by not making any withdrawals

^^LMAO nh

Okay, I just wanted to clarify why I used a lower rate in response to the guy that asked what the safest way to execute that plan would be.

Obviously a fake account because he said you'd get fired if you didn't go your fastest each and every time. Stopping because you got burnt = instant firing.

This is ******ed. Why don't they just pay people some much smaller amount of money if they want this done?

So you're going to trust this Assani guy who never carried an oat in his life and is obsessed with Onslaughts over a guy who has been running steaming oats around for nearly a decade? Whatever, you do what you want. Jesus, man, has every single job you've ever had been exactly what they described to you while you were interviewing?

Of course they tell all the new people they'll get fired for slowing down, otherwise they'd never bust ass the entire way. And if they catch you slacking, they'll make sure you know it. But, honestly, if they fired everyone who slowed down for a few steps when they bumped their forearms on the bucket, they'd have nobody to carry the oats!

-BoilingOatRunner

BOR:

Do they give you internet while boiling hot oat running?
Do you have to wear a uniform, nametag, flair, etc?
How about a hat?
What kind of person are they looking for?
Zima?

Thank you for your service to our country:
--GA

The reason people chime in to mention that you should be banned is because you are. "If you don't like it, dont click" isn't an excuse to spam the forum. If it were any other spammer spamming the OOT boards, he would get insta-permabanned with no excuses. The only reason that you aren't banned yet is because people can't tell whether this is some ridiculous meta-joke or you are actually this ******ed.

LOL awesome...
Part of me keeps struggling to find some deep underlying meaning to all of this...Iunno, somthing about being a slave for money and all of what you miss out on if you put too much importance on it over all of the other simple and fullfilling things in life you don't need money for blah blah, etc etc and so on...

The other part thinks this guy just gets his jollies thinking about boiling oats...

No, what are you, crazy? You're running as fast as you can carrying a heavy bucket of steaming oats. What are you gonna do on the Internet in that team? Arrange to bang some chick from MySpace.com while you're on the run? I don't think so. You just run the oats, man. You just run the oats.

Other than the no sock and no protective gear, not really. I mean, you're allowed to wear heavier clothes in the winter, at least.

I go with a headband. Some guys wear hats. You sweat a lot when you're running around with a 30 pound bucket of flaming hot oats in your hands, and believe me, you don't want to have to slow down to wipe sweat out of your eyes. No sir. Learned that lesson pretty quick. My doctor says I'll regain full use of my left arm eventually.

They take all comers. As long as you try your hardest, it's fine with them. I still remember old one-armed Pete, this guy who was around for a few runs back in 2002. They were willing to let him give it a shot, but he just couldn't keep the oats from spilling, and they had to let him go.

No self-respecting oat runner would be caught with that.

Let's not make this more than it is. It's easy money. I'm no hero.

-BoilingOatRunner

spam is trying to promote a product or something on these boards. How is posting about a game(onslaughts) or a job opportunity spam? Even if both of them were completely fake(which they're not), other people post fake games and fake stories all the time. Get off my back, Humphrey.

If the OP was banned, we would lose on on quality/entertaining posts like this...

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...rue#Post6865068

dude, quit trying to write off stupid posts as being serious.

Ill answer anyway cuz I think its kind of an interesting HYPOTHETICAL situation.

I wouldnt do it. 50K a year to live in a crappy [censored] hole city to do something thats going to take much longer than a few minutes (30 pounds is heavy, when you have to be careful of how you are carrying it and a mile is a long way) every single day come hell or high water. And if I cant do it I owe money. No way in hell. Now if they moved it to a real city, then maybe. But I still wouldnt because my freedom to travel and come and go as I please is worth more than $50K/year to me, but I could see how it would appeal to people in that case.

edit: oops, missed that they give you the mil upfront. I dont know dick about investing but if I could make a ton of money off a mill in a couple years, then maybe id do this and then break contract. I definitely wouldnt start now tho, I dont wanna waste some of the prime years of my life doing this, but if I were 40 or something, then maybe.

Also is New City, NY an uber shithole? Because Yuma, AZ is one of the last places in the country id ever want to live.

Just replace "spam" with "troll." Whatever.

Your use of the Hovat Sycaria system is interesting- your 78 phasing is quite unique

your way wasn't safe at all!

u wanted him to be locked into a 5-year bond so he was stuck hauling oats for 5 years

my way leaves his money liquid so he can quit on any given day

God speed, oat runner, god speed.

trolling is posting things that nobody wants to see in forums or places that they don't belong. The OOT forum is the place for "all the other crap" that has nowhere else to go. And clearly judging by the responses I get, people care somewhat about what I'm posting.

Quoted because it was very good



--
By the way, its fairly obvious that the post is not serious. Why would anyone pay you $ to do this in some specific way? If they really wanted the oats hauled a mile they would've done it by car/truck/whatever, instead of imposing arbitrary restrictions. The "job" sounds more like a prop-bet to me, not a "legitimate employment opportunity."

(Sorry to OOT for getting frustrated at this joke post and taking it seriously.)