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You son of a bitch. I just was about to post this.

You must be paying [censored] to not ban you or something.

-bb.

5 year treasury yield is 4.87% (source: http://bloomberg.com/markets/rates/index.html)

So if you bought $1MM in 5 year treasuries, in 5 years (depending on some yield curve assumptions) you'd have $1,268,157.29.

This would be a half-decent post if it weren't for this part that you included:

...the fact that you expect us to believe this crap makes me want [censored] to ban you. Had you kept the whole post as a "hypothetical" it would have been fine. But expecting us to be stupid enough to believe that this is a real job...that's just insulting.

Explain?

Just reread this. I think this is my favorite line.

Ah, yes, the huge subset of OOT readers who have previously worked as 1-mile, straight-line, sockless, boiling oat runners for a million dollars, what say you?

I think I worked for this company one summer in college, but they didnt pay nearly as well as this.

This is a great post. I am having a hard time not disturbing people around me by laughing too hard.

it's a 49 man onslaught, but you don't want to go there.

Yeah, this guy is terrible...

Brilliant!

Clearly you are not ready to take this opportunity seriously.

Oh, I haven't read any of those threads. Looks like I'll stick with that plan.

You're the biggest nit I've ever seen on these boards. Why don't you just not click on my threads if you don't like them? What is the point of clicking on every one of my threads just to tell me that you don't like what I wrote and that I should be banned for it?

I don't think they'd be able to notice really...I wouldn't be totally drunk, and I would think that as long as my performance didn't suffer they would let me be.

You haven't even started on this job, and you are already trying to think of ways to cheat the system. What's next, flesh-colored socks? You're a jerk. You've been blessed with an incredible opportunity to carry boiling hot oats around NY for 21 years straight, don't blow it.

Assani,

You should explore more thoroughly the consequences of showing up drunk for work. Would it not be a breach of contract? Even if you think the odds of your employers noticing that you are drunk on any given day are quite low, you are talking about doing this every day for 20 years, so the odds of being discovered eventually are astronomically high. It would be a shame to get caught 5 years in and lose your money for violating your contract.

I recommend taking the position if its demands will prevent you from creating onslaughts.

Do you get weekends off?

Ok, ok....I wouldn't show up drunk.

It's easy to say that now, but after being so cavalier about this prohibition initially, how can you be confident you will not lose your resolve after a year or so of hauling oats every day? I suggest you take a long look at yourself in the mirror before signing anything.

Because you troll in other threads that I enjoy and annoy me (and others - I mean, even Dids, Nice Guy Number One, was complaining about you). If you never posted anywhere but in your troll threads, I'd never open anything you typed.

I'll trade if you want - you stop trolling in good threads, I'll stop trolling your troll threads.

Either way, I bore easily, so I doubt our little flame war slap fight will last long. It's been entertaining for the last 24 hours, though.

-bb.

GOLD! LOL!

Where on earth do I troll in other threads? Thats completely untrue. I saw that you said once that I was trolling in the myspace thread, but I really wasn't at all- I was just going to read through it all and respond as I went along. But I soon realized how old the issues I was responding to were, so I stopped doing that and just asked someone to help me catch up. I am anything but a troll....I think I contribute very positively to many of the forums here. Most recently I have been posting in the sports events forums. Go read some of the threads I've started there. But I also contribute to many of the poker forums as well.

I really couldn't care less if you want to post in my threads. I don't even mind people occassionally making jokes even at my expense if its all in good fun. But your insistance that I get banned I must take seriously since I have no desire to be banned, nor have I done anything that should get me banned.