Because a certain poster in a certain thread has tried to write a limerick without knowing how, perhaps a Limerick Containment Thread is in order.

What distinguishes a limerick from a failed limerick?

* there are either eight (or nine if you must) syllables in Lines 1,2, and 5
* there are usually five or six (or rarely four) syllables in Lines 3 and 4
* Lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme
* Lines 3 and 4 have a different rhyme
* Using the same word at the end of two lines that are supposed to rhyme is not allowed, it only shows that the writer couldn't figure out how to actually rhyme.
* There should be a point of some kind to the whole thing, even if only to amuse
* The better the rhythm of the lines, the accuracy of the rhyme, the point or amusement factor of the whole thing, the more of a limerick it is

Here is a modest example, not original, but it meets the foregoing guidelines.

There once was a girl from Madras
Whose breasts were constructed of brass
When they clanged together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of her ***

Some might use this thread to repeat their favorites. Others might compose their own. Others might think this a total waste of time - sort of like waiting for a real statement from certain gamblers involved in defaulted loans.

Whatever.

I make this gift of my own free will.

Go forth if desired, and rhyme.

Wrong. Lines 1,2, and 5 rhyme, as do lines 3 and 4. See your own example, dunce.

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Who's dick was so long he could suck it

he got bored one day

and started to pray

OP made a post in OOT
He thought it would be a hoot
But the regs weren't a fan
They considered as ban
Now nozsr feels like poop chute

Actually, OP, great idea for a thread.

A red-blooded Persian named Nima
Developed a devious schema
"I'll make up a guy...
...in the fires did he fry...
...and I'll cash checks provided by FEMA!"

An idea for the forums:

OOT overflowed in rhetoric
the posters, too damn pedantic
til one day a new rule
made personal attacks cool
so long as they rhymed in limerick

MS OOT had gone off the rails
lots voting for more than nice tail
The final was fake
But some **** we wont take
Without an AOC win its a fail

You finding it hard to get laid?
A resource for you has been made
Online Dating Thread
Will get her in bed
You’ll channel a young Dennis Quaid

You want to enjoy you some beef?
From out of my book take a leaf
‘Cooking a Good Steak’
Allows you to take
A stride towards bbq chief

we're so hungry for dinner right now!
whatevs should we do, leftover kung pao?
mobile app hacks galore!
can three fiddy feed four?
posting pics of that **** to powwow!

There once was a man named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
She was dirty and gritty,
And missing one titty,
But think of the money he saved!

As OP, I feel an obligation to contribute now and then.

Here is a little ditty that I once appended to an ad offering a vacant lot near a small town post office.

Our Postal Inspector, Doc Hatley
Would practice philately badly
By licking each stamp
Until it was damp
And mounting it, firmly but flatly.

Glue loosening solvents syringed
Caused some of his stamps to get tinged
The sudden release of
The fumes and adhesive
Enfranchised his coming unhinged.

What podcasts do you listen to?
New fast food discussion/review
chopstick goes for a sail
Spending Christmas in Jail
Things that shouldn't piss you off, but do

had this dream one night
i was in a terrible fight
these kids wanted my life
none were older than five
but with a bat and a knife I survived

Last one on this topic, I swear.

the rules say we can't talk poker
but Asian, he's really a joker
got rid of the votes
election sham? totes!
And AOC, still, is a looker

An alliterative limerick I wrote:

A limerick I learned from a lion
Lists his lunches in every line
Later I literally
Laughed out loud liberally
Learned that loquacious Leo was lyin'

Excellent! I love alliteration, particularly in headlines.

id like to express my remorse
for ignoring the rhyming discourse
when I wrote the last lines
I'd drunk bottles of wines
from here out I'll speak only in verse

Anticipating tomorrow's game, here is the closing for an old ad for a football-field sized city lot in the town of 29 Palms.

If Brady played football out there
The heat would make pressurized air
Avoiding the call
Of "Illegal Ball"
Assuming, of course, that we care.

Bob needed a new computer
so he rents a new escooter
on his way to the store
detours to a whore
mankind's original tutor

Bob's back at home playing a game
talking **** while slaying a lame
"You cheater!" they say
"banged your mom today!"
And Bob esports his way to twitch fame

I'm a little Leary of this thread topic for oot.