In some college class we had to give a presentation related to biology. Two hotties are going on about making some massive genetic database so we can trace our ancestry. Discussion comes up about finding out you're related to Hitler, etc. At the end of the crappy presentation the TA says, "Jane you didn't put your last name on the hard copy." Jane says, "Oh it's the same as hers, we're sisters." I call out from the back, "OR ARE YOU????" Silence.

Recently walked down to the corner deli for a sandwich. The guys all know me there because I get food there at least 4 times a week. It's like 1 am and the grill is inexplicably COVERED in bacon. I feign looking at the menu, point, and say, "Yes I'd like the TWELVE POUNDS OF BACON, please." Stare. "Uh, actually I'll have a godfather."

hahahahaha I would have laughed at the "OR ARE YOU????" joke.

I have jokes that bomb all the time because they are so f'ing corny but I can't help myself from making them.

Bombing a joke is pretty awesome tho, they can't all be a hit!

But in most of these situations, I can at least ascertain why the flopee thought the line was funny.

This is excellent. Tag for later when I have time to write about one of my many.

I told a joke about ******ed people to a group of people without knowing that one of the girl's brother had down syndrome. I'd say it flopped pretty hard.

In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

Your classmates are dull

if your jokes never flop you don't make enough of them

I've had many. The one I regret the most is:

Back in 911 days, Chandra Levy was missing and there was speculation that Gary Condit had something to do with it.

Well, my joke was along the lines that, "Gary Condit issued a press release about the whearabouts of Chandra Levy. Good news: She contacted him this morning; Bad news, she was calling from the World Trade Center."

Who are you, Dennis Miller?

While my older sister (sophomore in high school at the time) was getting ready to go the Senior Prom with some dude she knew from the track team, my parents took some pictures before he arrived. For some reason, I jokingly blurted out "Don't do anything you'll regret in 9 months." Man, the ensuing silence was awkward.

I think the "OR ARE YOU???" jokes ends up transcending itself from a bombed joke to an awesome story.

I've definitely told some jokes that bombed, but I can't remember them. Best thing to do is to immediately make fun of yourself to save face.

You know the Aces joke?
When my home game was just filling up at the start of the night, I told this joke and got some groans.

Then, every time a new person arrived, I would tell the joke again! There was also this person who, every time I told the joke to a new person, would be all "LOL can you tell it again?!"

Apparently jokes that are groaners the first time become really bad the tenth time

I know I've bombed some jokes in my day, but luckily I and pretty much everyone around forgets them once I get one right. I'm sure I'll bomb at least one or two this weekend, so will update.

Also, I think classrooms are a bad place to judge whether or not a joke bombs. For instance, one of the best jokes I've ever heard would probably be considered a "bomb" based on response. A professor had missed the last class for unknown reasons and it turned out she had gone to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. The next class she put a picture of the ultrasound on the projector and my friend blurted out "That baby looks nothing like me." HI-larious, but very little laughter.

For a lifelong class clown like myself, I am not sure I can even grasp how many of my jokes have bombed.

I do stand up, and some of it is intentionally very corny and I like to tell it at drunken parties. Usually the following joke gets a few laughs, but in a class of mine the other day where upon hearing I am a jokester it was requested I make a joke, it got nothing:

"When I was a kid I went out to Missouri, visiting my great grandparents. When I was there I saw a caterpillar museum, which seemed really crazy to me. I actually liked it a lot though, and I tried to go back a few years later, but it had turned into a butterfly museum."

Class of about 20 mostly just looked away, and one said "you seriously do stand up?"

In a fantasy draft a long time ago(when I was 14), I made a joke about Tim Crews, a Dodger pitcher who had died in a boat crash in the previous year, winning "Comeback Player of the Year".

Everyone in the room was a huge Dodger fan and just looked at me with disgust, a couple guys told me just how unfunny I was.

My buddy laughed pretty hard in the corner, though. Score!

That's pretty [censored] funny. I would've loled. Actually, I probably would'v been the one who said something along those lines.

This comes to you from my roommate:

The other day in his class the professor was discussing a student she had, who was shot in the heart.

My friend made a Bon Jovi lyric joke and it didn't go over well. I thought it was funny when he told me about it.

this joke was A+

this one not so much

Pretty much anything I find funny enough in the poker world to tell my friends, who are relatively clueless about poker and yet are interested in a dumb sort of way so I still think I might be able to interest them, but I then realize they never get it.

that is so f-ing funny! I told my freshman daughter and she laughed hard too. Classic.

Did you find that joke digging through Mitch Hedberg's trash?

Please tell me your real name so I never accidentally see you warming up for a real comic. There's no excuse for how horrifyingly bad this joke is.