Watched the state of the union speech with some friends from work (mixed company) and we were drinking. By the end we were all talking about how unnecessarily long it was.

Me: Seriously, the greatest speech in American history wasn't more than two minutes long

Beat..a few nods of agreement

Me: The great, Why I Deserve a Blowjob speech I gave my girlfriend last week.

Crickets

It is funny until there is a murder in your town and he turns you in

They prbly thought that was the preamble.

I certainly was expecting more to the story.

It's not a bad joke, but delivery is everything and you seemed to blow it. The pause is obviously necessary, but then you have to get loud about the punch line.

a filibuster usually works better than a speech

The last time I played a donkament at Planet Hollywood there was a 50-60year old, (screw it..) tranny that looked like a thin Gene Simmons in women's clothing that had a snide/rude comment about everyone's play that was involved in a hand with "her" and was getting aggressively drunk as the game went on. When a guy finally busts "her" on a flopped flush with J6hh, "she" berates the guy and says "lucky ****ing idiot" as "she" exited the table. I said, "that's not very lady-like", and was immediately called an "*******" by SJWbro in addition to a couple of "not-cool's" by two other early 20-somethings who sat in silence through 3 levels of rude comments from the person before they left.

It was the most 2017 thing that I've ever experienced in my life.

In context your comment doesn't really seem bad, but you referring to her as "her" throughout your post certainly makes you look like a jackass.

Lmao.... See what I mean

If she acted like a gentleman, there wouldn't have been any issues. Wait.... Dammit. My bad.

Oh go stuff another burger down your throat you degenerate.

Not cool, dude, not cool.

Next time I'll yell 'the Emancipate this DICK Proclamation!!

Hook em btw

I advised a beginner snowboarder to pretend she was in a Mt. Dew commercial, and then she flopped.

Mountain Dew Code Red is crazy delicious.

yeah it is