I like the asterisk next to human beings, I thought there was going to be some amazing technicality like "are murderers human?"

i'd bet that at least 9 or 10 of the us executions were actually guilty, while the bloodthirsty danes are slaughtering innocent animals

Posted before I even had a chance to think of posting it. Well done

"The Ladies of Hillroy
When I was 11 or 12 I had a Hillroy scribbler filled with pictures of women I collected mainly from my mother's fitness magazines. Frequently I would sneak her fitness magazines into my bedroom, find the pages with the most attractive women wearing the least amount of clothing, like bikinis, then surgically seperate those pages from the magazines with a razor blade in such a way that my mother would probably never figure it out. Next I would cut the pictures from the separated pages and meticiuosly paste them into a scribbler with a glue stick. I was very good at it.
After a while I grew concerned at the growing collection of half-naked women I amassed in my scribbler. I didn't want anyone to know I was scrap-booking pictures of half-naked women to gawk at before bedtime. It was a secret that could brand me a devient and ruin my life, I thought. How could this be normal behavior for a 12 year old boy?
One Sunday I decided to end my scrapbooking habit. I went down the hill behind the house with my scribber of women and buried it in the marsh. It was a secret I didn't trust to a trash can."

from crazy bitch

"I wish people would learn not to talk about other people especially when you have NO idea what you're talking about. I will cut you!"

"Lol they really just made me take of my sunglasses in the bank yet the teller looked like a f'n terrorist...really what is wrong with this picture??? R u even legal b*tch???"

lol this a real person on your friends list?

real or not, i want more

She stabbed her best friend for uploading naked pics of her online. Do chicks often send each other nudes? This story is insane.

Story falls apart without the pics, obv.

i actually like this one. although i have never heard of a hillroy scribbler before.

Today there was a flood of anti-selfie posts on my feed. #winning

FYP.

I have a friend who consistently steals jokes from Twitter and reposts them as FB status. Like multiple times a week. Not sure what to do about it.

youre not very good at life

yea my bad its actually a solid status

Thought this would be a perfect

- Albert Einstein

opportunity

I had a friend of mine just announce the breakup of her 13 year marriage on Facebook because her husband "found another love". Eventually, the husband commented on her status, accusing her of stealing money and sleeping with their neighbor. Just when I thought it was going to get even better, the woman deleted her FB account. So annoying.

Dang, that's like a perfect spot to post the apply water sick burn photo.

"Wow some people cease to maze me"

Maybe they own a giant hotel in Colorado and hired somebody to make a giant hedge maze, but then the guy quit.

Was followed by " I am awesome weather some people know it and if not sh*tty for you....end rant...."

Maybe the dude is literally a ray of sunshine?

I was wondering when the rant was going to be over, but then he told me!