Well they're like "Ppl posting this are better people than those who don't...no wait, they're just insecure bitches who wanna feel that way" condescending bs I mean wtf. It's like bragging "I donated $50 to Japan. Did you donate?" pisses me off it's like "Lol it's hot everyone has taken their shirt off. Come on, take your shirt off too!" Jesus **** give me a mother****ing break

I'm all for fighting the good fight, contributing to causes out of own will if it's the right thing. Why anonymous donators are noble. When someone doesn't seek recognition or approval for what they do. As long they know it's right or good, then why does the world need to know about it as long it doesn't make a difference. But a person condescending others for not following what they feel is a rightful example or otherwise is not only ignorant but the opposite of what trying to be, a ****ing antihero

Um, what is wrong with some of you people? Are you retired British librarians humorlessly seething at every piece of human eccentricity that passes across your computer screen? How is the status update above anything other than ****ing hilarious? Goddamn, if you can't look at something like that and just laugh it away good naturedly -- maybe turn parts of it into a local meme -- then I pity you and your annoyance.

Great thread idea.

These are all from the same guy...some tardbucket at my school. He likes to post two types of bull****: 1) emo crap with no context and 2) non-funny observations:

These are just his updates from the last ten days! I could go on for pages.

Don't have any quotes to post, but the posts I hate the most on FB are the ones of the pregent girls posting daily/weekly pictures of how big their "bump" is getting. I don't give a **** and I certainly don't need to see it.

The worst though is people constantly bitching about school, especially if they are lazy and dumb. It's mostly people in gradschool. NOONE GIVES A **** ABOUT HOW LONG YOUR PAPERS ARE.

"I tried to keep track of how many people I pissed off in one day... I stopped when I started losing count."

"Posers wear holister... I'm the CA native, I should know."

sweet idgaf you ****ing pussy

venting about other people's retarded status updates is always very fun

Those were from a guy? Really?

From a chick who deals drugs for a living and is mostly spun:

Pretty much a steady stream of this stuff.


And these from my original thread inspirer:

This was posted by someone in MSNL a bit back:

That is seriously awesome.

got my ps3 slim off kijiji red deer. kid kinda looked gangster. I find out he's a northsidewankster because he left some of his own raps on it, plus messages of drug dealing through ps3 online. i laughed pretty hard at some of the messages; " yo, mom's making me goto bed, court tomorrow, & im gettin a switchblade". "goof i want my 5 dollars i'll smash you"... like forreal? so funny
* actually kinda funny

Feels greedy in the friends department.. because I have ALL the BEST ones!!! ♥
* obviously some girl

Dear bottom railway tracks please stop cutting up my gums!! It's only been two hours since I've had you and we need to have a loving relationship to make it through the next 7+ months!
*another dumb girl

Yo straight up *****! if i ****ing find out that what ur saying is a ****ing lie, yo tomorrow im coming down there to **** u up... cause u ****ed with the wrong *****! dont think because im nice that u can **** me over and me not get bent about it! cause if thats what u think, then ur sorely mistaken cause i will **** ur **** up u dumb ****!!!! real talk!!!
* this girl is ****ing nuts, she takes every quiz about herself, and posts like 100's of self taken pix of herself, doing all those annoying as **** , im trying to look sexy faces.

loll at the 11 one, amazing

someone realllly needed to go "its not working for me it equals 105. hmmm "

Guy from high school who was one of the smartest kids, now apparently a type-A over-achieving preacher. Sometimes he's quiet for months, then a stream of this starts flowing non-stop. I always assume there's something going wrong in his homelife when this happens - if we can just crack the code...

These are the "updates" that piss me off the most. They drive me insane.

I think the saddest (but still most annoying) updates are from homemakers who clearly never have anything even remotely interesting happen to them, yet for some reason, they feel obligated to tell me about the minutiae of their day:

any of those 'mind-blowers' that just involve basic algebra skills to demystify

the attention-whoring with a short, sad update that ends in an ellipsis. "i give up..." "some things never change..."

any completely meaningless and trite expression that tries to be passed off as profound. a recent one was like "strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break, it's about how much you can handle after you break". there is just no logic in there whatsoever, and this was one of the most-liked statuses i'd ever come across.

chain statuses. "post this for one hour if you love jesus and aren't ashamed to show it!!" why don't you try some self-flagelation next time

girls that participate in secret breast cancer awareness status bombs, thinking they're actually accomplishing a ****ing thing

daily minutiae doesn't really get to me. reminds me of phone calls. remember phone calls?

i honestly feel stupid for these ppl, i try to picture them sitting on comp, and actually typing this ****, like wtf is the point?
or when ppl instantly post any problem they run into.
"omg , my toaster stopped working!!!! worst eva!!"
like stfu, throw it in the garbage, head to walmart and get a new one for 15.99

Reading this made me want to kill a kitten

nice brag

These types of posts are usually followed by a bunch of "You go girl", "You do have the toughest job in the world" and "Take a break. You deserve it" type posts.

most recent one on my feed

How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday?When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way?How did Gandhi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all?Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall.

how about people getting angry because you won't friend them? oh, all these posts are annoying,

but here's another aspect... these are actual quotes from messages i have gotten on fb after pressing "not now" on the friend requests...

and this... ok, weird dude i hardly ever talked to my whole life and who is in and out of jail and not a friend of mine at all. wow.

note: ALL facebook status updates are dumb and very narcissistic -- even having a facebook page is narcissistic.

jesus that's horrible

Maybe you already know this but these are song lyrics fwiw. She didn't come up with this herself. Good song though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APw9ES0JpZo