Now that's pretty good. Having the last one be self-deprecating instead of whiny is critical.

Yeah, I quite liked this one I saw on my feed:

hey man, everyone deserves some pussy on valentine's day.

Definitely this. I like the tech support one too.

Meanwhile, one of my friends who still lives back home and is going nowhere with his life has apparently created a fake profile of an insanely hot chick and entered himself into a relationship with said fake hot chick. And they have a couple short "conversations" back and forth. This girl has 10 fb friends, all this guy's friends from where he used to go to school. I mean how bored can you get with your life

Yup, that one is great.

Heh, you should check out a documentary called "Catfish" when you get a chance.

spending half your waking hours playing farmville is "bored with your life", this is more in the territory of "utterly pathetic"

I'd like to think its more of an inside joke with some other people thing, but this kid has dated maybe 1 girl in his life for like 3 weeks. But I don't think it is a serious 'make my own love partner since nobody likes me' type thing. I actually dont know what to make of it at all, other than its stupid.

oh okay, that's still dumb but not as bad if he's not trying to pass it off as real

I saw this, and it's very obvious that the majority of the movie was, at a minimum, restaged. It really pissed me off.

saw this on "facebook" (aka "email"):

idiotic: http://www.fosslien.com/heart/

tries so hard, fails so hard.

lol some of these are awful haha

ill never make a facebook account in my lifetime i swear to you allllll

i predict that today will bring many millions of redic tilting statuses

I've managed to not sign in to facebook for 3 weeks. There's no point in deleting your account because to get it back it's just the same process as signing in to an un-deleted account but you look like an attention whore. As someone who once had a rampant cocaine addiction I can say that the urge to sign in to facebook was greater than any urge for coke during the first week.

Yeah, I was grateful for the fact that Facebook now groups similar posts (i.e. "10 of your friends posted about Valentine's Day"), so I can just skip past them.

Unfortunately, I have friends that can't spell 'Valentine'.

I actually don't mind the happy/sickening ones so much as the anti-Valentine's Day rants from people who think they're being original.

no u

I wish I lived in a world where size 16s looked like that

wat?

I assumed it involved actual photoshopping- but even that sounds like way more work that I'd ever put into something that wasn't my own idea.

I get it. You feel special because you got flowers at work. You and 10 other million women today. But the women "like" each other's pictures, oooing and ahhhing each other....

blech...you can enjoy your day.

Yeah- screw people for people happy for other people! JERKS!

CLICK LIKE AND EVERY 2ND square WILL BE DELETE ! ♥ ;D
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

From a 32 year-old chick whose statuses I have posted in the past:

"Would everyone SHUT THE **** UP about valentines day?!! To each other and to me! If u truly loved the person you'd give them gifts EVERYDAY not one day of the year when the calendar tells you to!! You're all idiots."

I just texted her a happy valentine's day message.

3/3!

tyler durden,

you're getting better at this.

that chick sounds really happy.

i don't know what you're talking aboot as it is impossible to improve on perfection