idiotic / narcissistic / annoying facebook statuses - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

inspired by suzzers post in the humblebrags thread

with so many people on facebook, and so many people posting nonstop terrible status updates, lets just drop a bunch in this thread. the quote format w/ a brief description of the type of person will help with context. plus these are easily defined!

these aren't particularly good but will add some in the future, just wanted to get the thread started

Quote:

Originally Posted by pretty crazy girl that does look like a chubby eva mendez

Had a wonderful but kinda lame night last night lol i hate being tickled but whatever it was still a good time

Lol i loved the text he sent me when he got home it was supper sweet but why is ie every says i look a lot like Eva Mendez???? i don't think i do

but whatev shes a hottie

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl that posts bi-polar relationship stuff 3x a day

I just cant do this anymore , just to sit and wait, when yur goin to be like the rest? i dnt think i can take dis chance not to be hurt a second time

Quote:

Originally Posted by some fake-model

crazy epiphanies that put you in your mindset for your next adventure untill the adventure happens.. the adventure is taking place

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:10 PM

miajag

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 17,328

Quote:

Originally Posted by a bunch of lame breeders

There comes a point in your life when FUN no longer means bar hopping, clubbing, being out till 4am or drinking too much. It means movies, family dinners, kid athletic events, bedtime stories, and 9pm bedtimes. Becoming a parent doesn't change you, it makes you realize that the little people you created deserve the best of your free time! Re-post this if you are PROUD to be a parent &LOVE your "Boring" life! ♥

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:19 PM

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

i have only roughly 10% of my 'friends' on FB unblocked because they all post idiotic nonsense. at the same time, i like most of them on some level, so unfriending them aint much of an option.

Quote:

crazy epiphanies that put you in your mindset for your next adventure untill the adventure happens.. the adventure is taking place

lol

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:19 PM

IcyHotMonkey

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,771

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy girl

Yippy! I should be out of this house sometime today, but I need to get to my truck! Can't wait to see some friends!

How is this message helpful to anyone? The only information is that she might leave the house today. Congrats!

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:20 PM

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

Quote:

JUST LIVE & ENJOY everyday of ur LIFE "as if it WERE ur LAST DAY ALIVE!!!! TRY IT & JUS SEE the diFFerence???AND IF ur NOT Excited about Possabilities THEN UR not LIVING FOR "PURPOSE" friends

i would never block this guy, way too funny.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:22 PM

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

Quote:

90,000 ppl r HOMELESS in Los Angeles Aka HOLLYWOOD And 50% of them are ppl that Want 2 be FAMOUS ACTORS So Remember THE All Great AMERICAN DREAM Is Not GIVEN 2 u It is EARNED by u 2 MAKE IT u Got 2 TAKE IT=Opprotunity Comes Once n a Lifetime ppl JUS DO IT

same whacko

Quote:

On the way 2 the Gym 2 train for 2hrs of HIGH INTENSITY SUPERSETS of 7 specific excersises designed 2 work on the exact muscle ur workn on and I LOVE WHEN I FEEL-LOOK GOOD yea Ladies im all Muscle NO Bodyfat RIPPED-SHREDDED its All gOOd baby

Quote:

Out on my Nightly 5mile STRESS RELIEF WALK jus Me My BLUNT of Killa bud My Superdupper IPOD CLASSIC the Only ipod with 50,000 songs of HIPhop Rap-Rock-R/B whatever I I GOT IT & ta STREETS sEE lady THATS ALL I NEED girl is me my WEED-MUSIC and Im All SET like the Table bitch "Spoons 2 the Left Forks n u all nite rite bitches like the forks.lol ladies ya kno im jus playn I have 2 LAUGH or Ill DIE

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:25 PM

snagglepuss

banned

Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 7,269

lol

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:26 PM

Neverfeltme

grinder

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 416

Quote:

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance. A woman has read this entire post. A man is still looking at his thumb. Repost if this made you smile :-)

No, it didn't make me smile you ****ing **** muscle.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:28 PM

vin17

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 4,101

Quote:

If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn’t that weird?

Last edited by vin17; 03-30-2011 at 02:29 PM. Reason: lol @ sublimes

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:30 PM

#10

nuisance

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,644

Lately my FB has wall has been more like MTV then anything else.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:35 PM

#11

TheCroShow

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 10,605

Quote:

Originally posted by Girl that believes celebrity gossip is more important than life
Perez Hilton is releasing a children's book. DEAR GOD, WHY?

Her twitter is even worse. One time she posted some **** like: "Lohan back in rehab, WHO CALLED IT?!?!

Quote:

Originally posted by Wise Auntie who ****ed up her life and posts **** she never has and never will follow

You must first love yourself before you can love another

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:37 PM

#12

YouWishFish

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2,466

No quote but bi-polar girl I know tilts me so much. Updates her relationship status from "single" to "married" to "divorced" about twice a week.

Not only that but I'm treated to seeing a rant about how "men are useless" at least 3 times a day even though she's living in a council flat on benefits with a kid, she's 19.

Oh like most people who live unfulfilled lives she impulse buys things that need serious consideration and commitment first. E.g she bought a dog and three weeks later tried her best to give it away to friends and relatives because she couldn't handle it. She's buying two kittens next week... The joys.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:39 PM

#13

marlinssmith

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,081

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabe rapper guy

I'm sick of people saying I'm the whitest black guy. **** you, I'm just an educated gangster.

Quote:

There's a lot of people hungry for this but I'm starving like my ribs showing

Quote:

Honestly I've come to realize people are gonna hate and there's not a whole lot you can really do about it. So hate me, I don't care anymore

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:40 PM

#14

alexruimy

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,446

slight derail but i usually immediately unfriend anyone with a status that include "dis" or the like. awful.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:44 PM

#15

marlinssmith

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,081

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabe rapper guy

H-A-T-E-R-S...Having Attitude Towards Everyone Reaching Success.

Quote:

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

Quote:

I handle my business and that's real talk

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:47 PM

#16

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

Quote:

Going to bed, with a lot on ur mind sux!!!

stupid whore

yeah, i can imagine the complex thoughts keeping you up

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:51 PM

#17

marlinssmith

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,081

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy always talking about his kids

time to put the laundry in the dryer...i love being a father...

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy always talking about his kids

No Wife...check, No Girlfriend...check, time with my girls...PRICELESS

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy always talking about his kids

What shall I do with my little girls this late afternoon-evening...any suggestions would be appreciated.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:51 PM

#18

JessterCPA

grinder

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 697

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neverfeltme

No, it didn't make me smile you ****ing **** muscle.

This post made me smile. Well done.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:52 PM

#19

spyderracing

veteran

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,364

You sure wanna-be rapper guy isn't actually Gary Busey, marlinssmith?

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:52 PM

#20

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

Quote:

EVIL brings men 2gther~Aristotle~Guess thats Why I roll Solo w the Holy Spirit whos guiding me Always and thankyou 2 All my boys who made my Bday a good 1 GOD BLESSED ME 2 MAKE IT THIS FAR Soo Im guna K.eep I.t M.oving

said clown also has like 600 FB friends, and say 300 of them wished him a happy bday on his page and he "liked" each and every one.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:53 PM

#21

sublime

Mr. Roper

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 22,519

Quote:

What shall I do with my little girls this late afternoon-evening...any suggestions would be appreciated.

rape, ainec

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:54 PM

#22

DrVanNostrin

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 4,402

prediction: this thread will be very long.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:54 PM

#23

wickedman

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 508

Hah, I could dominate this thread. I have a friend who you would think is mentally handicapped on FB all the time. I will try and see if I can get his videos he made about various topics up on here.

Quote

03-30-2011 , 02:56 PM

#24

Carl Sagan

old hand

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,746

Someone ended their status with "Well that gives a whole new meaning to brains and bronze!". I went back and checked the message to see if it was a possible pun, butnahhhh.