Quote:
Originally Posted by bbones31
Sooooo Howard, how about some stories about talking to cops after some massage parlor busts?
So there I was getting my dic, errr, Johnso, uhhh, wiener, well, nm, it was right in the middle and we hear the door crashing in. It's happened before. Let me give you a tip: You don't have time to put on your underpants. Get your pants on FAST and grab your shirt, you might have time to put it on or you can put it on later.
One time they had me up against the wall and the guy from the next room started to give the cops some ****, IMR!!!, he started to give them **** w/ his pants half off and they didn't care for that the inconsiderate bastards and it was escalating.
Me: 'Pardon me officers, I'd like to say something.'
'WHAT DO YOU WANT?'
'I want to say that I didn't come here w/ him.'
We hear the stories, don't know if they're true, but as I alluded to earlier, the cops dragged him off to a back room and I heard the blows and grunts. Cop asks me what I was doing there. Me: 'Uhhhhhh.....' 'WELL? DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS ILLEGAL?' Me: 'Uhhhh.......' 'HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY?' '$200.'
I swear this part is true. The cop brings me into one of the rooms. I brace for a couple of punches. Have I mentioned that I can take a punch? I really can, found it out in High School in my first fight. That led to other fights so it might've been better if I'd gotten knocked out cold. NEWAY the cop says '$200? What do you get for $200?' Me: 'Uhhhhhhhh.........'
I ended up telling him. Never ran into him in a massage parlor, though.
Another time I wasn't in an Asian place, it was a really high class brothel type place when a girl comes running up the stairs w/ the warning. The girl I was with stuck me in the bathroom. I had a bit of a dilemma: I had a couple of J's and only a minute to decide whether or not to flush them. Eff it, I figured and stuck them in some cabinet and sat on the toilet. Almost got clean off except a female cop made them open the door and I'm thinking 'JFC, it's got to be a woman?, fml', so the door opens, I'm sitting there woman cop asks what I'm doing there I say 'number 2' and, TY, BABY JESUS (even we Jews know when to thank BABY JESUS) and she left.
One of the best times was when the cops gathered us all into the living room area. I hadn't the time to put on my shirt and they kept calling me fatty, the inconsiderate bastards, I'm not all that fat and, as a matter of fact, by poker room standards I'm a twig. It was rather comical actually, they were yelling at us, trying to embarass us, but I can't be embarassed, not w/ the life-grinder that I've been through.