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Old 02-18-2006, 03:17 AM   #1
Tony_P
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I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Scene: New York City Subway, Fourth Avenue Local Train, 11 PM

Cast:

TONY PALADINO: Local degenerate
17 YEAR OLD *****: Inconsiderate Whore
PERTURBED YUPPIE: Possibly homosexual
ANGRY PUERTO RICAN: Fiery Latino
CONDUCTOR: Not George Carlin or Ringo Starr.
CROWD: About 30 random New Yorkers.

Train approaches DeKalb Ave Station with TONY PALADINO and ANGRY PUERTO RICAN on board. TONY is sitting reading “Catcher in the Rye”. At DeKalb Ave 17 YEAR OLD ***** and PERTURBED YUPPIE board the train. Seating is according to the following diagram:

[img]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c25/tonypaladino/*****.jpg[/img]

***** takes out cell phone and starts playing with ringtones. As TONY glares at ***** sitting about a foot away from him, ***** alternates plays the opening score to “Overnight Celebrity” and some Spanish song over and over again at a very high volume. YUPPIE turns to *****.

<YUPPIE>Could you turn that off, please?

***** continues to play ringtones. YUPPIE repeats request, and ***** continues to ignore her. TONY continues to glare at *****.

<CONDUCTOR> Ladies and Gentlemen, due to track work this train…….

CONDUCTOR’s announcement is drowned out by BITCH’s ringtones.

<ANGRY PUERTO RICAN> Hey! Shut that thing off so we can hear!

<YUPPIE> Yeah, turn it down.

TONY continues to glare at ***** as she ignores ANGRY and YUPPIE.

Train slowly pulls into Atlantic Ave/Pacific Street Station. TONY calmly puts on his jacket and places his book in his pocket. TONY rises, grabs BITCH’s cell phone, and pulls it from her hand. ***** looks up in shock as TONY snaps phone in half and throws it to the ground. Phone shatters into several pieces, and even though it is at this point unnecessary TONY stomps foot down on the largest piece, crushing it further. At this point ANGRY and three or four members of the CROWD start clapping. Train stops and the doors open, TONY walks to the door and turns to *****.

<TONY> Did you learn something today?

***** looks on in shock.

<ANGRY> (Still clapping, and obviously overjoyed) Alright Poppy!!!

TONY exits train, goes upstairs and enjoys a cigarette as he walks home, satisfied that he’s done his good deed for the day.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:20 AM   #2
whiskeytown
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

I supposed I should be outraged and shocked at your callous disrespect for other people's property.

well done, sir

that is all

RB
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:20 AM   #3
AJFenix
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Well played.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:20 AM   #4
fluxrad
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Sweet. I don't usually remember most of my dreams.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:20 AM   #5
Macdaddy Warsaw
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

YEAH! Destruction of personal property is AWESOME!
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:21 AM   #6
PartyGirlUK
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Nice story but this was a cnutish move.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:22 AM   #7
young Nut
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

I can't tell if that was evil or pure brilliance...but I definitely would have had a very good laugh if I was near the ***** on that train. vnh, I think.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:22 AM   #8
Tony_P
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Quote:
I supposed I should be outraged and shocked at your callous disrespect for other people's property.

well done, sir

that is all

RB
Don't Ban Whiskytown!!!!
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:24 AM   #9
Shilly
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

OOT <3 WT
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:25 AM   #10
whiskeytown
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

it's easy to break cell phones - and fun -

I remember being really drunk one night trying to erase a girl's number from my phone and saying hell with it and snapping it in half -

there is a certain therapy in destroying a cell phone - almost as if the cell phone deserved it - I think most do.

RB
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:25 AM   #11
funkymunky
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Awesome. Just, awesome.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:26 AM   #12
bdk3clash
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

I can't say I condone your actions but obviously this is pretty cool.

Also with my new Shure E4Cs I doubt I would have noticed any of this happening.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:28 AM   #13
SackUp
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

It is an awesome read no doubt. But breaking people's stuff really is not cool at all.

The better play would have been to just choke the biatch.

choking biatch >>>> breaking her possessions
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:31 AM   #14
mcb
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

anyone saying it wasnt cool to break the phone has never been stuck on a train/bus with someone playing mp3 ringtones or twowaying on full volume. "did you learn something today?" iced the cake. classic.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:32 AM   #15
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

I was convinced this story was gonna suck until it turned out great.

You are my hero today. I think you brought something beautiful into the world today.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:32 AM   #16
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

screw what some people think, some people just have zero regard or respect for other people and hopefully ***** did learn a lesson...i think she did, cause the next time people are telling her to stop being a [censored] i think she just might listen.

well done tony p.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:35 AM   #17
Born 2 Loose
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

The only way to improve this story is if you had SIIHP. (the phone that is)
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:36 AM   #18
young Nut
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

btw...what happened to posting those zoo chick pics on the myspace group forum??? ...that would make the rest of us feel good as well.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:36 AM   #19
Blarg
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Quote:
I can't say I condone your actions but obviously this is pretty cool.

Also with my new Shure E4Cs I doubt I would have noticed any of this happening.
Thinly concealed brag post!

Okay, I admit I'm jealous.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:38 AM   #20
brick
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

You better delete this! OOT has reach.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:40 AM   #21
Brainwalter
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

tdarkoisright
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:43 AM   #22
Tony_P
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Quote:
Quote:
I can't say I condone your actions but obviously this is pretty cool.

Also with my new Shure E4Cs I doubt I would have noticed any of this happening.
Thinly concealed brag post!

Okay, I admit I'm jealous.
I usually have my music blasting and wouldn't hear anything, but I has just bought Catcher in the Rye, since I somehow never read it, wanted to get started. Maybe it was fate.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:43 AM   #23
bdk3clash
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

There was a recent OOT thread about them. I got mine $181 shipped from an official reseller with the two year warranty and am so far very happy.
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:47 AM   #24
Dominic
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

what you did was awful.

But I love it.

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Old 02-18-2006, 03:50 AM   #25
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Re: I can\'t remember the last time I felt this good!

Fantastic sir.
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