Scene: New York City Subway, Fourth Avenue Local Train, 11 PM

Cast:

TONY PALADINO: Local degenerate
17 YEAR OLD BITCH: Inconsiderate Whore
PERTURBED YUPPIE: Possibly homosexual
ANGRY PUERTO RICAN: Fiery Latino
CONDUCTOR: Not George Carlin or Ringo Starr.
CROWD: About 30 random New Yorkers.

Train approaches DeKalb Ave Station with TONY PALADINO and ANGRY PUERTO RICAN on board. TONY is sitting reading “Catcher in the Rye”. At DeKalb Ave 17 YEAR OLD BITCH and PERTURBED YUPPIE board the train. Seating is according to the following diagram:



BITCH takes out cell phone and starts playing with ringtones. As TONY glares at BITCH sitting about a foot away from him, BITCH alternates plays the opening score to “Overnight Celebrity” and some Spanish song over and over again at a very high volume. YUPPIE turns to BITCH.

<YUPPIE>Could you turn that off, please?

BITCH continues to play ringtones. YUPPIE repeats request, and BITCH continues to ignore her. TONY continues to glare at BITCH.

<CONDUCTOR> Ladies and Gentlemen, due to track work this train…….

CONDUCTOR’s announcement is drowned out by BITCH’s ringtones.

<ANGRY PUERTO RICAN> Hey! Shut that thing off so we can hear!

<YUPPIE> Yeah, turn it down.

TONY continues to glare at BITCH as she ignores ANGRY and YUPPIE.

Train slowly pulls into Atlantic Ave/Pacific Street Station. TONY calmly puts on his jacket and places his book in his pocket. TONY rises, grabs BITCH’s cell phone, and pulls it from her hand. BITCH looks up in shock as TONY snaps phone in half and throws it to the ground. Phone shatters into several pieces, and even though it is at this point unnecessary TONY stomps foot down on the largest piece, crushing it further. At this point ANGRY and three or four members of the CROWD start clapping. Train stops and the doors open, TONY walks to the door and turns to BITCH.

<TONY> Did you learn something today?

BITCH looks on in shock.

<ANGRY> (Still clapping, and obviously overjoyed) Alright Poppy!!!

TONY exits train, goes upstairs and enjoys a cigarette as he walks home, satisfied that he’s done his good deed for the day.

I supposed I should be outraged and shocked at your callous disrespect for other people's property.

well done, sir

that is all

RB

Well played.

Sweet. I don't usually remember most of my dreams.

YEAH! Destruction of personal property is AWESOME!

Nice story but this was a cnutish move.

I can't tell if that was evil or pure brilliance...but I definitely would have had a very good laugh if I was near the Bitch on that train. vnh, I think.

Don't Ban Whiskytown!!!!

OOT <3 WT

it's easy to break cell phones - and fun -

I remember being really drunk one night trying to erase a girl's number from my phone and saying hell with it and snapping it in half -

there is a certain therapy in destroying a cell phone - almost as if the cell phone deserved it - I think most do.

RB

Awesome. Just, awesome.

I can't say I condone your actions but obviously this is pretty cool.

Also with my new Shure E4Cs I doubt I would have noticed any of this happening.

It is an awesome read no doubt. But breaking people's stuff really is not cool at all.

The better play would have been to just choke the biatch.

choking biatch >>>> breaking her possessions

anyone saying it wasnt cool to break the phone has never been stuck on a train/bus with someone playing mp3 ringtones or twowaying on full volume. "did you learn something today?" iced the cake. classic.

I was convinced this story was gonna suck until it turned out great.

You are my hero today. I think you brought something beautiful into the world today.

screw what some people think, some people just have zero regard or respect for other people and hopefully BITCH did learn a lesson...i think she did, cause the next time people are telling her to stop being a [censored] i think she just might listen.

well done tony p.

The only way to improve this story is if you had SIIHP. (the phone that is)

btw...what happened to posting those zoo chick pics on the myspace group forum??? ...that would make the rest of us feel good as well.

Thinly concealed brag post!

Okay, I admit I'm jealous.

You better delete this! OOT has reach.

tdarkoisright

I usually have my music blasting and wouldn't hear anything, but I has just bought Catcher in the Rye, since I somehow never read it, wanted to get started. Maybe it was fate.

There was a recent OOT thread about them. I got mine $181 shipped from an official reseller with the two year warranty and am so far very happy.

what you did was awful.

But I love it.

Fantastic sir.