I'm thinking Sauron from the opening to the first LOTR movie, swinging his mace and sending the soldiers flying.

~D

5 year olds are ******ed.

AWESOME post.
5 year olds!

hundreds of 'em! no problem. i'd let the biggest, toughest 5 year old i've ever met boot me in the junk as hard as he likes- it's not gonna incapacitate me, but one backhand slap and that kid's a crying wreck.

geez. do you guys have any idea how weak, fragile, emotionally vulnerable, and just plain incapable of real fighting 5 year olds are? they can barely hurt each other in fights, let alone an adult. and you gotta assume one punch/ one kid, and i can throw a lot of punches (lord help me for writing this stuff).

i geuss i'd be a little concerned about biting- that'd be they're only shot.

smae question, ten year olds, maybe 5 maybe not.

Moonwalk mode would have to reduce the number you could take by at least 50%. It gives the little tykes a chance to get eye level with you, and they have alot more force if their being propelled off the ground. And it's easier for you to trip. If you jump up, a bunch of em can roll under you and land where you would so you trip, and then a bunch more would jump on your head.

Is anyone else suprised we haven't had any five year-olds chime in on this debate?

Has anyone addressed footwear? If everyone's wearing sneakers, then the number gets exponentially higher. If the little psychos are wearing steel toed boots, then kicks to the shins become much more incapacitating.

It gives more than a bit of an edge. It takes away one of your best weapons --- a hard floor.

What about clothing in general? I assumed that everyone was naked.

~D

Yes, 100 is too low.

That's awesome. My only stories from when I was five go something like this:

I was the most advanced student in kindergarten, so when the teacher ran to the office for an errand, she left me in charge. All hell broke loose when I got distracted by some cool toys, and I actually got in trouble. But then she got in trouble when my mom heard about it and really chewed the teacher out.

I was playing baseball when I was five, and I was out in left field, both literally and figuratively. A helicopter overhead caught my attention, and after hearing some screaming from the dugout, I look down just in time to see the ball rolling past me out towards the fence.

You must be a freak of nature, I'm rather impressed that you even watched sports at that age, let alone got pissed that they didn't run the ball on third and short. Most five year olds are dumb, slow, and weak.

Justin A

i addressed that earlier. to summarize: i don't like naked because it's too nambla for my tastes.

if you're allowed to wear jeans, decent footwear and a decent long-sleeved shirt you can increase your number by at least 5% i think. jeans especially are +ev.

"How can you shoot innocent women and children!?!"

"Easy, you just don't lead them as much"

Freakin

The attire is normal street clothes in normal layers. That means jeans, t-shirt or similar, and normal tennis/walking shoes. It also means you're not able to wear multiple pairs of jeans or a ton of shirts or something made of kevlar. Also on the banlist would be steel-toed shoes/boots.

Yeah, and for others the erection might get in the way.

~D

http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?iaja5ky6jow

I haven't read all the posts on this topic so this may have been mentioned already but.....


I think this comes down to a matter of conditioning. There's no way even a full gym of 5 year olds is going to knock out an adult until he gets tired. How many of them can you knock out before you get tired? You can't puch all day. It would be like the Ali/Foreman fight. Ali just let George pound the [censored] out of him until he was too tired to even stand. I think the most effective tactic to use against them would be grabbing the back of their heads and yanking it down violently into your rising knee-cap.

How about an Indiana Jones-style whip? The sound alone, not to mention having to watch a fellow 5-year-old have his face literally whipped off his head, would shock and awe the entire group.

I think the Indiana Jones whip is not a bad idea. How about if we make it a multi-player game? How about if you can tag-team the kids with another adult? Then you could run stunts and various plays like using the whip as a clothesline and just run down a whole pack of kids.

edit: On second thought, the whip is a bad idea. I see tripping problems and the kids could do the whole lilliputian thing and get you all tied up.

side question: you can add an adult on your team, but double the number of kids. at which number of kids does this switch from +EV to -EV for you?

"Once my trainers advise me as to whether roundhouse punches or roundhouse kicks are more effective, I've got to be dropping most of those rugrats in one or two blows"

You shouldn't be punching or kicking- you should be grabbing the first kid and throwing him into a group of them, rinse repeat as needed untill there are just a few left.

Why not Zangief-style 360 piledrivers?

~D

Now that'd just be showing off.

This seems to be the most effective, just tossing them on the ground until they get weak or possible break something from the fall, and then stomping on them.

"I started to think as long as you are in shape the number could be really really high."

As long as you have enough room to run in you could probably do upwards of 200. The only real danger you are in is if two or three of them grab a hold of a leg and others are able to get to you and grab a hold.
# of 5yr olds = stamina/density of kids is the equation i believe.